Personality and Temperament: The Highly Sensitive Person Who Is Also A High Sensation Seeker

  Bron: May 2006: Comfort Zone ONLINE

(Including at the end the High Sensation Seeking Scale for HSPs)

In the last issue I was reporting on two new theoretical insights that bear on how science is beginning to understand high sensitivity. One theory was about the Behavioral Inhibition System (BIS), which may be stronger in HSPs. The BIS was originally associated with anxiety, but now it is understood to have three functions, one of which has nothing to do with sensing danger, but with simply attending to what’s going on, including making the best of opportunities. As you know, this is something I have always argued about HSPs and have demonstrated with my own research that unless HSPs have had many bad experiences, so that they see danger everywhere, they are no more prone to anxiety than those with a less active BIS. But HSPs are more aware and attentive than those with a less strong BIS.

According to this theory, if an opportunity is sensed, the Behavioral Activation System (BAS) is alerted. It wants to send us out into the world immediately to get what we want or simply to explore. Those with a strong BAS are naturally more curious, eager to “go for it.” This trait is called High Sensation Seeking (HSS, or sometimes it’s called High Novelty Seeking). When it was first studied, the high sensation or novelty seeking aspect was confused with impulsivity and high risk taking. A desire for anything, including anything new, will always be a factor in how much one is willing to risk, even an HSP. But if there’s too great of a risk involved, in an HSP the desire is easily countered by the strong BIS.

About The Test You Are Probably About To Take

Hence I had to create a new sensation seeking scale. The revised High Sensation Seeking Test is below. This test is not backed up by as much research as the HSP test, but will give you a rough idea of your HSS tendencies. Compared to other HSS tests, this version does not have items that imply taking a serious risk, or very much risk of any kind.

For example, HSSs are known to enjoy trying “recreational drugs,” since that leads to all sorts of novel experiences, and a question about this is on most HSS questionnaires. But not many HSPs would answer yes to that, even if they are an HSS too, unless the drug were safe and legal, which things called “recreational drugs” usually are not. So I worded it differently, so that it could include alcohol or even caffeine. I also included fewer items about physical risk, but even then found men scored higher than women. So I provide different norms for men and women. These also are not written in stone—perhaps in another community and certainly in another culture, different norms might apply.

Suppose you are an HSP who scores high on this test, too? What does that mean for you? As with your sensitivity, I can tell you what most HSP/HSSs are like and see if you recognize yourself. But nothing I say will be true of every HSP/HSS because each has so many other innate traits as well as a vast array of different experiences throughout their lives. But in general, again, HSP/HSSs have a strong desire for novelty and the “good stuff” in life, but are not willing to take high risks to get these. Since there’s plenty of novelty and pleasure to be found without taking risks, HSPs who are also HSSs tend to do just that—enjoy safe novelty, eagerly go after pleasures that are not dangerous—and to do this pursuing more than HSPs who are not HSSs. However, it’s amazing how safe an HSP can make a risky sport, for example. I know HSPs who have done hang gliding, and many like to ski, scuba dive, and ride horses. But they do these safely. They may be fire fighters or work in law enforcement, but they use their observational skills and low impulsivity to do their job as safely as possible, and hence more effectively in the long run. Obviously many people in these professions live to a ripe old age, so it’s certainly possible to do.

Being an HSP/HSS almost sounds like the best of all possible worlds, doesn’t it? And I think it can be. But most HSS/HSPs will tell you it’s also rough going.

The Trouble With Being An HSP/HSS

I have always used the analogy one HSP/HSS gave me, which was that she felt like she lived with one foot on the gas, one foot on the brake. But in fact, both parts are drivers, with human concerns and strategies for getting their way. Hence HSP/HSSs more often feel like two people in a constant argument. And the HSS part often wins because in this culture, at least, the combination of curiosity, competitiveness (more typical of HSSs), and risk taking are all admired more than the HSP combination of traits. Hence the HSP part often feels it has less power and is more often dominated by the HSS part.

These thoughts led me to comparing the HSP/HSS to a couple in which one is an HSP but not an HSS, the other is an HSS but not an HSP. As with such couples, the person with an HSP and an HSS inside has no problem with boredom, but a lot of trouble with conflict. So, as with such couples, the following points apply.

1. Look at it as a package deal. What you don’t like about the other is just the flip side of what you do like. Your HSP part is a spoilsport with all its worries? A hindrance to every plan? It’s also prudent. It keeps you safe to enjoy more novelty another day. Is it indecisive, always wanting to wait and see? It’s also a good strategist; it helps you win. Is it needing all of this down time, this boring doing nothing that keeps you from being able to join in when others are out doing new things? But as it processes, it discovers new insights and fresh aspects of every situation. It is finding novelty and satisfying your curiosity. It’s just a kind of exploring that does not require going anywhere or taking any risks at all. Pretty neat, once you see it that way.

Now what would the HSP part of you say? Does it feel run ragged by the HSS part? Feel dragged into risky situations, rough new sports, travel to strange places where there’s more disease and crime? Well, another way to look at that is that the more you, the HSP, tries these things and is successful, the less risky it will seem next time. And, you’ll increasingly see yourself as very competent in all sorts of situations, as competent as any worldly non-HSP. You might even enjoy yourself.

Does the HSS never allow you a chance to rest? Well, at least your life very interesting and full of adventures, which many other HSPs might envy. Does the HSS seem to get its way too often, enjoying the support of everyone around you? At least it’s keeping you, the HSP, safely hidden from those who would misunderstand you and wound your feelings.

However, you are a little right, in that since the culture supports the HSS more, you will have to learn to give it a firm NO when NO it needs to be.

In my experience, all of this is more difficult for those HSP/HSSs who have had difficult, stressful lives, so that they experience the world now as very threatening, which frustrates the HSS, and without meaning, which alarms the HSP. They feel more ashamed of whichever side of themselves they are showing, and more dominated by it, rather even imagining that the two parts can live together or even help each other. Often they use all the activity that the HSS part wants as a defense against their bad feelings, which are associated with the HSP part. The HSP part, in turn, is used to having a rough time of it ever since childhood, and even of being misused by others and powerless to stop it. So the HSP part is given little attention, which allows their HSS part to wear them out physically until they develop some illness or chronic syndrome, the only way the HSP can get its needs met, which is for rest, nurturing, less stimulation, and a chance to process. Unfortunately, that processing may lead to more bad feelings, so the troubled HSP/HSS is often out of bed as soon as possible, trying to escape the HSP part once again. If the HSP part is dominating, the person may not leave the bed after all, but the person’s suffering may be more psychological—panic attacks, agoraphobia, and depression.

2. Grieve what cannot be. As an HSS who is also an HSP, you will always be limited in how much novelty, risk, and stimulation you can manage. As an HSP who is also an HSS, you will often be right at the edge of feeling overstimulated. Overextended. Over aroused. You’ll have to get used to the idea. Both of them. You won’t find good solutions until you’ve accepted your predicament fully.

3. Now, get creative. Having accepted what is, you can begin to plan ways to make both parts of you happy. You really can. Look at the happy couples in which one’s an HSP, one’s not. They find solutions. So can you. Does the HSS like big cities, the HSP find them overwhelming?

At regular intervals, let the HSS explore a new city—to find the most beautiful, quiet spots for the HSP to enjoy. Does the HSP want to go to the country? Let the HSS explore new places each time, those places that the HSP has a hunch will be good. Does the HSP want to just stay home? Bring in some variety. Try new foods. Watch a video the HSP would usually avoid, but fast forward through the upsetting parts. Get a pet who is just like you—a peppy pup who loves to roam with the HSS, but once worn out, will sleep contentedly beside the HSP.

4. Use each part to bring YOU what you want. There’s a you who is neither HSP or HSS. Did you ever think about that? This you has talents, values, and goals that are quite specific, not just those of all HSPs or all HSSs. The HSS in you wants to display those talents, live by those values, and achieve those goals as soon as possible. Just living this way, living fully, can be a special thrill to the HSS.

But the HSP in you really wants to be sure it is all done right. No mistakes due to impulsive decisions, and hence no deeply disappointing or humiliating failures. Now, what a winning combo, if the HSS uses the HSP to notice all the subtleties and only take action when success is as certain as anything can be by studying a situation, and the HSP lets the HSS make its move when the time is right. After all, even HSPs love success. But they can’t succeed if they don’t try. The HSS is the one who will make it happen. As someone once said about golf, “Every shot I don’t take is a certain failure.” So YOU chose your goal. Then let your HSS swing. After your HSP takes aim.

The Other Problems With Being An HSP/HSS: Now That You Get Along With Yourself Better…

What about others? HSP/HSSs seem to have a harder time finding the right partner, because really they need another HSP/HSS, and those are relatively scarce. You can imagine the troubles otherwise, in both cases. Maybe the worst problem, at least for the other person, is that the inner conflict gets “projected.” With another HSP, that person is blamed for to many of the problems that actually the inner HSP is causing the HSP/HSS. “You never want to do anything!” The same is true when the HSP/HSS is trying to live with an HSS. The HSS partner is the problem, as the HSP/HSS forgets about his or her own HSS part and complains, “You wear me out. Can’t we stay home? You just don’t understand me.”

I recall a couple in which the husband was an HSS, the wife the blend of the two. They were two journalists, and they happened to be on a vacation in a remote locale when a terrible terrorist act was committed there. As newspaper reporters for the daily paper of a large city—and the only reporters who happened to be already on the scene—they had the chance and indeed the news journalist’s duty to report the event to the world. The HSS husband was able to write his story about the catastrophe without too much distress, and was even glad he’d had this great career opportunity. The HSP/HSS wife could write nothing for days (although what she eventually wrote was deeply meaningful). She was too shocked, almost as if she’d been in the nightclub herself.

Talking with me, she realized that she had chosen a career in newspaper journalism because of her HSS side, but she was going to have to think twice about the kind of reporting she did in the future, given her HSP side. I am not sure how their relationship turned out, but they certainly learned something about whatever difficulties they were already having (and every couple has them).

This brings up the same difficulty with careers: HSP/HSSs find a hard time finding work that satisfies both sides of themselves. It may be the most important factor to consider when trying to find the right workplace, the right calling.

I know you would like advice on relationships and careers for HSP/HSSs, but it is truly a unique problem for each person. About careers, I have noticed that HSP/HSSs seem to make the ideal interviewers. They are very curious and like meeting new people, at least in this structured environment, and they can use their sensitivity to get into the other person’s mind and ask the right question. Perhaps that observation of mine will spark thoughts of other situations in which there’s some protection and structure that prevents being overwhelmed by constant change, yet new situations are always coming (new classes if you are a teacher, new patients if you are in the health professions, new customers if you are in sales or customer service, new products if you are in marketing, etc?)

Don’t Hide Either Side

HSP/HSSs are often able to hide their sensitive side from others, either potential partners or employers. But even if you don’t bring it up initially, don’t pretend it isn’t there. Bring it up as soon as it could be an issue. This was something else I learned from an HSP/HSS. She’d found she was attracting mostly HSS men because she was hiding her HSP self, fairly easy to do when you are dating, at least at first. You’re just busy when you’re really needing time alone, or he wants you to something your HSP side wouldn’t like. She said she was just realizing that hiding her sensitivity was a waste of her time and the men’s. She was going to bring it up, the combo, right away.

I also hope that she was able to convey pride about both of her temperament traits, and to teach others to appreciate them too. Don’t fall into thinking of the HSP part as a limit and talking about it that way to HSSs: “It’s a drag that I can’t work all day and party all night.” Your HSP part adds so much to the HSS, who would otherwise miss the subtleties, just plunge into everything, and have that much less to offer the world and that much less awareness, feeling, connection, and pleasure. One thing my research has found is that HSPs feel happiness more intensely than others. So, may the HSS in your life, both outside and in, show you new experiences to enjoy, and may the HSP in you give you the extra joy to be found in them.

Now that you’ve learned what it is to be a High Sensation Seeker (HSS),
take the sensation seeking self-test.

Psychic Vampires

This article was written by Joe H. Slate PhD

posted under Psychic

Let's face it—we've probably all fallen prey to a psychic vampire, possibly without even knowing it. It may have been a chance encounter with an energy predator that left us temporarily exhausted, or possibly along-term vampire interaction with serious wear-and-tear effects on the mind and body.

Psychic vampirism is alive and flourishing in the world today. As consumers of energy rather than blood, vampires of the psychic kind exist in many guises but with one common trait—their own inadequate energy system compels them to tap into and feed upon the energies of unsuspecting host victims. The immediate results of such a one-on-one vampire encounter are anew but temporary surge of energy for the psychic vampire and a serious loss of mental and physical energy for the unsuspecting prey. If you suddenly feel emotionally or mentally depleted, you may be under attack by a psychic vampire. The unfortunate effects of prolonged energy loss are damage to the energy system itself and in some instances, serious illness.

As consumers of energy rather than blood, psychic vampires, like their folklore counterparts, can be men orpsychic vampires women, young or old. They can be tween, teens, or adults. They can be professionals in business suits, wealthy dot. comers, dapper CEOs, ultra-groovy rock stars, or construction workers in hard hats. They can be a business associate, next door neighbor, or even family member.

Long before the popularization of folklore vampires as blood-thirsty villains who sucked life-sustaining blood from their prey, psychic vampires as energy-sucking predators were common. There's strong evidence, in fact, that vampires as consumers of energy were the trailblazers that actually inspired the legendary version of vampires as consumers of blood. An early example with clear fingerprints of psychic vampirism is the Biblical account of Delilah's cunning seduction of Samson in which she vampirized him by cutting his hair, the source of his strength. Even the Biblical version of creation in which God breathed into man the "breath (energy) of life" and then took from him a rib (of energy) to create woman illustrates the transferable nature of life-force energy. That give-and-take make-up of energy is even more dramatically illustrated in the Biblical account of the woman who, upon touching the hem of Christ's garment, was infused with energy while Christ simultaneously felt the energy leaving his body. On a very broad scale, psychic vampire themes were common in many primitive cultures that routinely used rituals to embolden and energize their warriors while simultaneously demoralizing and enfeebling (vampirizing) their enemies. Even today, military strategies often include an excessive show of force—such as shock and awe—to demoralize and dispirit (vampirize) the enemy.

Early Encounters

In my early childhood, I first became aware of psychic vampirism through a distant relative who claimed to have discovered the secret of living forever. A world traveler, she had studied under several far eastern scholars who, she claimed, taught her how to communicate mentally, travel out-of-body, and extract life-force energy from nature, including trees, streams, and even rocks. But among her most remarkable claims was the ability to mentally extinguish fire by drawing rejuvenating energy from it.

One of my most vivid childhood memories was a festive dinner party at her mansion during which she stunned her guests by demonstrating that amazing skill. Upon taking her place as hostess at the head of a very long table graced by three large candelabras, she commented on the room's excessive light. To the astonishment of everyone, she then leaned slightly forward and mentally extinguished five of the six candles in each candelabra!

Intrigued by her extraordinary claims of power and having seen many of them demonstrated, I began to suspect that she extracted energy not only from nature but from people as well. I finally collected the courage to ask her privately whether she drew energy from people. Placing a hand on my shoulder, she answered, "Well, of course. How else could I live forever?" Although I admit I was left wondering whether to believe her, I suspected that among her preferred energy sources were the well-developed young males who made up her household staff. She remained in excellent health and incredibly youthful in appearance until she finally crossed over during sleep at the age of 101.

Psychic Vampirism in the Laboratory

With these distant childhood experiences still etched in my mind, I welcomed the opportunity as Professor of Psychology at Athens State College (now University) to lead a study investigating the human energy system. The year-long study, which was funded by the US Army Missile Research and Development Command, identified several important characteristics of that system. Of particular interest was the finding that the physical body's central energizing core and its surrounding energy field, commonly called the aura, are each influenced by the presence of others. Using aura photography along with visual observations of the aura, the study found that the auras of couples whose interactions were positive tended to complement and energize each other, with each aura becoming brighter and more expansive. Conversely, negative interactions tended to constrict the aura and actually induce a state of mental and physical fatigue. When constrictions occurred in the aura, intellectual functions became slower, short-term memory declined, and physical strength decreased by as much as 50 percent.

A later study funded by the Parapsychology Foundation of New York not only confirmed the findings of our earlier research, it showed that certain persons were highly skilled at deliberately tapping into and directly feeding upon the aura of others. By draining energy from another person's aura, these so-called psychic vampires not only deplete the aura's energy resources, they interrupt the capacity of the aura's central core to generate new energy, particularly when the interaction is prolonged. Consistent with our earlier findings, direct observations of the aura as well as aura photographs taken before and after a psychic vampire interaction showed the victim's aura becoming severely de-energized and constricted following an attack while the vampire's aura became energized and expansive. I was reminded of my aunt's claim of deliberately drawing energy from others, a claim that now seemed considerably more plausible.

My more recent studies uncovered even more vivid evidence of psychic vampirism and its effects. Both visual observations and aura photographs revealed ominous tentacle-like structures extending outward from the vampire's aura during an attack to puncture and draw energy from the victim's aura. As expected, such onslaughts dramatically expanded the invading vampire's aura but seriously dulled and constricted the host victim's aura, a condition that often lasted for days. Even more seriously, vampire puncture wounds to the aura often required weeks to heal. (As an important footnote, all observations and photographs obtained throughout our studies were with consent of informed volunteer subjects, most of whom were college students. Both observational and photographic assessments obtained during an actual psychic vampire interaction were obtained from couples who were in an on-going relationship. All participants in our vampire studies were offered counseling and provided instruction concerning the use of appropriate intervention and protection techniques.)

Although the human energy system is indestructible—it is literally the soul of our being—its capacity to generate the energy required for daily living can become severely impaired. Long-term, continuous psychic vampire attacks can have devastating consequences that reach far beyond damage to the energy system. Like the host victims of their blood-sucking counterparts, victims of recurring psychic vampire assaults can become—dare I say—psychic vampires themselves in a desperate effort to replenish their lost supply of energy.

Protection Techniques

Fortunately, highly effective strategies are now available to prevent a psychic vampire attack, or once it's underway, to promptly end it. These laboratory tested strategies can also promote healing and repair damage to the energy system resulting from long-term vampire assaults. They can even be used effectively by psychic vampires provided they are motivated to overcome their energy addiction.

One of the most effective protection procedures known is the Finger Interlock Technique. Developed in our labs, this technique is easy to implement, and its effects are instant. To begin this technique, simply bring together the tips of your thumb and middle finger of each hand to form two circles. Then, bring your hands together to form interlocking circles while envisioning your body enveloped in a bright sphere of impenetrable energy. Finally, relax your hands and simply affirm, "I am now energized and fully protected." This simple, inconspicuous technique requires only seconds and can be used almost any time or place. With practice, you can use the finger interlock gesture alone as a cue to instantly activate the effects of the full procedure.

A former student who found herself under a psychic vampire attack during a job interview used the Finger Interlock Technique to instantly end the attack and gain control of the interview process. She was offered the position at a salary that far exceeded her expectations. She attributes her successful interview to the simple Finger Interlock Technique.

Aside from its effectiveness as a psychic vampire protection procedure, the Finger Interlock Technique has many other useful applications. Overcoming stage fight, improving memory, and promoting positive social interactions are all within its scope. You can use the technique to induce instant relaxation during important examinations, public presentations, and conferences, to list but a few of its many applications. A former student, now a practicing attorney, attributes his admission to law school largely to his use of the technique during the entrance exam. The technique, here ported, effectively reduced his stress level and stimulated his recall of important information. Because the technique is so inconspicuous and easily executed, it has become popular among public figures including actors, politicians, performing artists, and TV personalities. If you observe their hands, you will notice many of them using the simple finger interlock gesture.

That old and trusted stand-by, the quartz crystal, has almost unlimited potential as a psychic empowerment tool. Throughout my career as a college professor and practicing psychologist, I've found that almost everyone is responsive to this tool. Because of its receptivity to programming, the crystal is an excellent tool for such personal goals as losing weight, quitting smoking, promoting career success, and even slowing aging (See my book Rejuvenation: Living Younger, Longer and Better). My students have used this tool to raise their grade point average, gain admission to graduate school, and get the job of their choice. One of my former students successfully programmed the crystal to find the love of her life! I've used the crystal to get research grants and introduce parapsychology into the college curriculum (a first in Alabama). The phenomenal success of the International Parapsychology Research Foundation, which has funded student scholarships and psychical research, is largely due to crystal programming.

At a personal level, I've found the quartz crystal to be unsurpassed in its capacity to protect against psychic vampirism. For that purpose, I recommend the Crystal Protection Procedure because of its capacity to erect an outer protective shield around oneself that renders any vampire attack harmless.Once the crystal is appropriately programmed and then kept in close proximity to the physical body, the protective shield remains in place to provide constant protection. The procedure is particularly effective in protecting against prolonged exposure, such as when a psychic vampire may be living or working right alongside you.

For this procedure, you can use a crystal already in your possession, or you can select a fresh one from an assortment. When selecting a crystal from an assortment, first state your goal of complete protection from psychic vampirism, and then slowly pass your hand, palm side down, across the assortment. Select the crystal that seems to stand out from the others, and while holding it, note your interaction with it. If the crystal does not seem appropriate for your stated goal, repeat the process until you find a receptive crystal. Not infrequently, the crystal in an assortment that first commanded your attention is ideal for your present use.

Once you've selected a crystal, deprogram it by briefly holding it under cool running water and then letting it air dry on a towel. To install the new program, simply hold the crystal in your hand, and while gently stroking it, invite it in your own words to be your empowerment partner by working with you to neutralize and defeat psychic vampirism in whatever its form. To save the program, simply say, "Please stay."

The Finger Interlock Technique and the Crystal Protection Procedure can be used separately or together to provide constant protection from psychic vampirism. Everyone can benefit from the use of these procedures. I use them regularly and make it a practice to teach them to my students and patients because of their effectiveness in promoting a sense of security and well-being by erecting an impenetrable sphere that envelops the full aura. You can view this interesting phenomenon called the halo effect around your own aura by first holding your hand, palm side outward, at arm's length, and then while viewing your hand against a neutral background, slowly expanding your peripheral vision. Finally, let your eyes fall slightly out of focus, and you will see the aura around your hand as a colorful glow surrounded by an outer halo of bright energy. (As a footnote, this technique can be easily adapted to view the aura of another person. For that application, see my book Aura Energy for Health, Healing, and Balance.)

Many Faces and Unsuspecting Guises

As already noted, psychic vampirism comes in a variety of unsuspecting guises. We see it all to commonly between individuals as one-on-one vampirism, but feeding on the energies of another person is only one of its many forms. For instance, anyone who exploits a lover, spreads malicious rumors, ruins a reputation, or betrays a trusted friend is a psychic vampire.

On a much broader scale, psychic vampirism can occur in a vicious, collective form as sometimes seen among organizations that feed on prejudice and hate, or corporations that blatantly vampirize their employees through deception and greed. Narcotics trafficking, organized crime, and so-called "ethnic cleansing" along with discrimination based on age, race, gender, or sexual orientation are examples of collective psychic vampirism on an alarming scale. In its most widespread collective form, psychic vampirism can exist at a global level. Reckless pollution of the environment, irresponsible disregard for endangered species, and exploitation of the globe's natural resources are examples of global vampirism that affects everyone and literally puts the future of the planet at risk.

Finally, it may seem hand to fathom, but psychic vampirism can occur in a self-contained, parasitic form that turns inward to feed upon oneself. In that internal form, the person ironically becomes both vampire and victim. Examples are such flagrant consumers of our energies as phobias, obsessions, and compulsions that can hover over us like monsters waiting to devour us.

One of my patients, a 22-year-old art major, when asked to draw a picture of his fear of heights, drew a lifeless figure of himself being held in the claws of a giant monster. His drawing vividly depicted the over powering vampire nature of his fear.

In my past-life regression studies, parasitic vampirism was often found to be related to some painful, unresolved past-life experience that continues to hound us in this life. Here are a few examples drawn from college students:

Deep insecurity and fear of abandonment were reactions to being an outcast and homeless in a past life.

Fear of enclosed places resulted from having been buried alive in a past life.

Fears of rats, spiders, and crawling insects were associated with imprisonment in an infested dungeon in a past life.

Fear of heights was associated with having fallen to one's own death in a past life.

Compulsive overeating was associated with a past-life of extreme hunger and stealing food to survive.

Stage fright and fear of crowds were reactions to death by public execution in a past life.

In a remarkable example of parasitic vampirism with threads of past-life origin, a 22-year-old student's fear of sunlight, along with the compulsion to wear dark shades even when indoors, was a reaction to past-life torture in which his eyelids were cut away and he was left to die in the desert with his arms bound behind his back.

Incredible as it may at first seem, our case studies found that knowledge of the past-life sources of parasitic vampirism was often sufficient in and of itself to overcome this plight. In many cases, phobias, obsessions, and compulsions with a very long history were instantly extinguished through a sudden flash of new knowledge.

One of the great teachers of all time summed up the power of knowledge this way: "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free. "Knowledge remains perhaps the most powerful force in the universe. Among our greatest challenges is finding new knowledge and applying it to empower our lives while making the world a better place for all. Who could argue with that?

Joe H. Slate PhD Joe H. Slate PhD

Joe H. Slate is a Licensed Psychologist in private practice with a Ph.D. from the University of Alabama and postdoctoral studies in hypnosis and psychosomatic medicine at the University of California. He is Emeritus Professor of Psychology at Athens State... 




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Are You A Highly Sensitive Person?

Today I would love to share a wonderful blog post by Sandra Lee

Love yourself!

“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” -Aristotle

Do you find yourself highly sensitive to the physical circumstances and/or the people around you?

A few days ago, a small bird smacked into the glass panel of the sliding door in my bedroom.  This happened at another residence about eight months ago.  The first time, I was probably more traumatized than the bird.  The suffering of others has affected me so strongly all my life; it seemed to penetrate far into my being.  In both cases, the bird look stunned and paralyzed, not moving a micro-millimeter, but clearly still alive.

The first time, my husband assured me that the best approach would be to leave the bird alone and let it reorient itself.  It was an hour of pure torment for me.  The bird did indeed recalibrate itself in about an hour’s time and flew off into the wild blue yonder.  Happily, the second bird did the same.  Animals intuitively know how best to cope with trauma.  This is explained exceptionally well in the book, Waking the Tiger, Healing Trauma, The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences, which elucidates how these same principles apply to the human experience of trauma.

 

Suffering and overcaring

The second time around, I was naturally concerned about the bird’s suffering, but, interestingly, I didn’t let it get under my skin in the same way.  This is due, in part, simply to knowing from experience that the bird would likely recover and fly off as before.  At the same time, I feel this is also due to a gradual process of inner change that is taking place as I more firmly secure myself through Amygdala Retraining and other means of self exploration and personal development.  Let me be clear that this doesn’t mean becoming indifferent, uncaring, or cold-hearted.   I still feel emphatic to the suffering of others, but I understand more fully than ever before how allowing it to jar me so strongly is neither necessary or useful.

Indeed, overcaring may actually be harmful.

“Is your care producing or reducing stress?”  This is a key question in the Heartmath approach, which also says:  “Excessive care, or overcare related to an issue or situation can create stress and negative emotions, so it is important for your care to be balanced.”

If you are stuck in the habit of perpetual giving, this might be a crucial question to ask:  “Is your care producing or reducing stress?”

Suffering is an inevitable part of life for all of us.  When you know and accept the reality that suffering will occur, it’s not such a shock when it actually does.  With this understanding, you can have more acceptance and clarity when suffering arises. I’ve been fortunate to meet many great spiritual masters in my lifetime.  All of them have been deeply compassionate.  Indeed, their love and compassion have no limit:  the whole purpose of their existence is to relieve the suffering of this world.  But they are not bowled over by suffering.  They don’t go into a state of personal angst if a bird flies into a pane of glass.  They are compassionate warriors—courageous, confident, determined, yet also relaxed, open, and spacious.

 

Are you a highly sensitive person?

I’ve been super sensitive as far back as I can recall.  According to Elaine Aron, 15-20% of the population is highly sensitive, possessing an uncommonly sensitive nervous system.  She says that being a highly sensitive person means:

“…you are aware of subtleties in your surroundings, a great advantage in many situations. It also means you are more easily overwhelmed when you have been out in a highly stimulating environment for too long, bombarded by sights and sounds until you are exhausted.”
Aron defines this not as a flaw but as an asset that you can learn to use.  She says, “If we try to live by the same operating instructions that others use, we develop all kinds of chronic illnesses, as so many of you have learned the hard way. Yet if we overprotect ourselves, our assets go unexpressed, and that can also lead to stress and illness.”

1 in 5 people are highly sensitive – an eye opening statistic!

 

Sensitized Nervous System

The evidence is mounting that a sensitized nervous system is involved in a wide range of disorders.  Wikipedia explains:

“A third type is central sensitization, where nociceptive neurons in the dorsal horns of the spinal cord become sensitized by peripheral tissue damage or inflammation. This type of sensitization has been suggested as a possible causal mechanism for chronic pain conditions.”

“Sensitization has been implied as a causal or maintaining mechanism in a wide range of apparently unrelated pathologies including substance abuse and dependence, allergies, asthma, and some medically unexplained syndromes such as fibromyalgia and multiple chemical sensitivity. Sensitization has also been suggested in relation to psychological disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder, panic anxiety and mood disorders.”

In another view of sensitization, Ashok Gupta and Annie Hopper believe that a small structure in the brain thought to be responsible for triggering the adrenalin response, the amygdala, becomes sensitized in cases of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, Chronic Pain Syndromes, and related disorders.  They respectively offer their own innovative brain retraining programs to assist people in recovering from these disorders based on the science of neuroplasticity.

 

Reducing overstimulation and retraining the brain

The first step foreword is recognizing that you are indeed a highly sensitive person.  If this is the case, it’s important to take on board that trying to live a highly stimulated, stress filled lifestyle may very well have negative ramifications for you.  From there, you can explore options for reducing over-stimulation. Elaine Aron’s books are one resource for this purpose.

It’s far better to do this early on so you can lead a sane, healthy, and happy life instead of developing chronic illness down the road.  However, if you do develop certain chronic illnesses, Dynamic Neural Retraining and Amygdala Retraining are wonderful programs to help you feel better. There are no magic pills.  You must faithfully apply the techniques offered in these programs on a regular basis to effectively retrain the brain and improve.  You need to change your fundamental way of being.  Loving yourself enough to make the commitment is part of the equation.  This is a huge step, but there’s tremendous support for accomplishing this. Be heartened!  Breakthroughs are happening in the realm of these previously unexplained illnesses.

Are you a highly sensitive person?  What steps do you take to reduce stimulation in your life?

You might also like this related articles:  Retraining the brain for CFS, FMS, MCS, PTSD, & GWS

Jim Hallowes on HSP

Book Review: The Sensitive Self - Michael Eigen

We are all sensitive beings, both physically and emotionally. What do we do with our sensitivity? How much of our sensitivity can we take? How do we become partners with our sensitivity in ways that make life worthwhile? In The Sensitive Self, renowned psychologist Michael Eigen explores the varied nuances of sensitivity as it threads its way through all facets of our lives.

Individual case studies, often achingly honest, are woven together by Eigen's deeply felt meditations, bringing us into the heart of psychotherapy. We see how our sensitivity to self and others plays a crucial role in sustaining our sense of aliveness. Ultimately, Eigen argues, sensitivity is the basis for a humane ethics. Powerful and illuminating, The Sensitive Self follows up on the themes of Eigen's previous books, Rage and Ecstasy, with which Eigen has established himself as one of today's most creative thinkers in psychology.

MICHAEL EIGEN is a psychologist and psychoanalyst. The author of numerous books, he is Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology in the Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis at New York University and a Senior Member of the National Psychological Association for Psychoanalysis. 

The Highly Sensitive Child

A highly sensitive child is often bright, articulate, creative, and insightful, easily able to tune into other people and their feelings. She may display a deep sense of empathy and compassion for other people. Perhaps she is a budding artist, a future novelist. And yet, she is also clingy and whiny, sometimes bossy and demanding. Sometimes she's all of these at the same time! She throws long tantrums over seemingly minor issues - shoes that feel "funny," familiar cereal that suddenly tastes "different." She shrieks furiously when you leave her with a babysitter, even one she knows well, grabbing desperately at your legs as you leave. Her teachers complain that she is "scattered" and seems to pay attention to too many things at once. It's no wonder that parents of such youngsters feel frustrated, helpless, angry - under the thumb of a mercurial, moody "prince" or "princess," as some describe their children to me.

To help you understand this child, let me walk you through how she may look and behave at different stages of development. You may recognize many features of your child. Of course, every child is unique, and you may see only a few similarities. If you are feeling discouraged, rest assured that I will soon discuss ways to approach your child's challenges.

The Sensitive Baby and Toddler
A sensitive infant is often colicky, finicky, irritable, demanding. She may cry almost constantly for the first year of her life (or so it may seem to an exhausted parent) and want to be held continually. The normal activities of infancy - sleeping, eating, diaper changing - can become early battlegrounds between parents and baby. One seven-month-old girl I saw screamed in fury if her mother put her down for the briefest instant. She fell asleep only when her mother or father rocked her for an hour or longer. Several times each night she woke up crying and needed to be rocked back to sleep. She hated having her clothes changed and would even squeal indignantly when her parents removed a dirty diaper. Breastfed, she furiously resisted taking a bottle, and she angrily pushed away spoonfuls of rice cereal and bananas when they were first offered. She cried when the vacuum cleaner made noise or if her older siblings were loud. When she learned to crawl, she simply used her newfound skill to scurry over to her mother and cling to her leg, rather than venturing out to explore the world. She fussed when her mother tried to interest her in toys and threw temper tantrums when her parents tried to put her in her playpen. "I feel like the prisoner of a tyrant in my own home," the baby's weary mother told me.

These sensitive infants find the emotional skills that we expect them to master in their first year more difficult to learn than do other babies. Ordinarily, babies begin learning to calm and regulate themselves in their first few months and, at the same time, remain interested and engaged in their environment. They also learn to relate to people in a warm, trusting manner - by gurgling and cooing as they study their parents' faces, for example. Especially gratifying to most babies is the ability to let their parents know what they want through vocalizations and gestures (reaching up to be picked up, pointing at a desired toy, and so on). But such goals can be elusive for a baby who is overly sensitive. New people, sights, sounds, smells, and the results of her own exploration and initiatives (touching daddy's rough beard, for example) easily overwhelm her and make her cry.

As a toddler, the very sensitive child often continues to be demanding and clingy. Once she has mastered a few words, she may resort to whining. "Mama, mama, mama," she may say over and over again as her exasperated mother tries to untangle her arms from around her legs so she can work. She throws monstrous tantrums if her parents try to leave her at daycare or with a babysitter. Now, her parents' sleep may be disrupted by her shrieks as she wakes up at night feeling scared. New situations upset her, and she may avoid playing with other children, shaking her head stubbornly and bursting into tears if a parent tries to lead her over to a group of other toddlers who are happily rolling toy trucks and banging toy drums. She may act aggressively, but more out of fear than defiance: she may bite or hit other children who come too close, for example, or pinch a child who tries to take away a toy. She may not like to be held or carried in a certain way.

Rather than become more assertive and organized as she grows, by taking her father's hand, for example, and leading him over to the cracker box, she may whine and passively expect daddy to guess what's on her mind and get it for her.

As she approaches the ages of two and three, when children ordinarily start to engage in lots of pretend play with each other and begin to expand relationships beyond their parents and siblings, the overly sensitive child may be cautious, fearful, and clingy. She may not be comfortable in expanding her fantasy life, even though a full fantasy life is very important at this stage of development. She may feel cautious about exploring certain themes in her pretend play, such as coping with aggression. Her dolls or action figures may always kiss and hug, but never fight or tussle with each other, for example. Or the dolls or action figures may fight, but then the story line may disappear: she may simply bang her dolls and toys together in what looks less like pretend play and more like a direct discharge of energy.

As she learns more words, she may start talking about her fears, telling you about the witches under her bed or the monsters in her closet. Fear and shyness inhibit her from making friends, and she is very frightened of children who are more assertive than she is. When parents leave for work or an evening out, she may shriek hysterically, "Mommy, no go!" or "Daddy, come back!" even though she is familiar with her daycare center and acquainted with her babysitter.

The Sensitive Preschool Child
As she learns to string her emotional ideas together into emotional thinking, which we ordinarily begin to see at about the age of four or so, the highly sensitive preschooler may have elaborate explanations for some fearful or scary feelings.

"I know the robbers are going to come get me as soon as you put out the light, and I won't stay in my bed," she may argue. "Leaving the light on will only let the robbers see where I am!"

The sensitive child's fears appear to be growing because she is able to use logic to build bigger sand castles in the sky. With enhanced logic, she may seem even more tyrannical, insisting that she will be safe only if you do everything she wants.

As your sensitive preschooler begins to approach the school-age years and becomes even more articulate, her bossy, demanding behavior takes new forms (the sensitive child is, after all, usually very verbal). "You didn't buy the right cereal!" she may yell indignantly as she glares at her bowl of Cheerios from the newly opened box on the breakfast table.

"Honey, it's Cheerios, the same as always," the parent replies.

"But the box is a different color! And they taste different. I want the old Cheerios like you always get!"

And so it goes. "My new dress feels yucky!" she may say. Or, "These socks pinch my feet!" "This sandwich hurts my mouth!"

New experiences may cause her all kinds of concerns, and she may be quite articulate about her fears. "If I go to nursery school," your four-year-old may argue, "that boy Kim will hit me and he will take away my teddy bear until you come get me!" She may worry that "bad things" will happen to her parents and may threaten and whine if she is taken to a babysitter's house. "If you go to work and leave me at Mrs. Farwell's house, I will be sad forever!"

As you can see, infants, toddlers, and preschoolers each convey their sensitivities in their own special way. Seemingly in no time at all, the clinging, fussy baby turns into the passive, avoidant, fearful toddler who, as she acquires the "gift of gab," develops ideas, stories, and plots that elaborate this same sensitive core.

At this point, some readers are undoubtedly saying, "I've had enough. What can I do about it?" But let's continue our journey through the school years. It will give you a fuller picture of our sensitive child - a picture that will enable us to discuss strategies to help her overcome her special challenges.

The Sensitive School-Age Child
At the ages of five and six, children ordinarily move through the "world is my oyster" phase, experiencing a sense of grandeur about themselves and a bold expressiveness. A highly sensitive child may immerse herself in the rich fantasy life of this phase, but then constantly scare herself. As a result, she can seem moody, self-centered, and demanding, throwing lots of tantrums. She may imagine herself as powerful as daddy, for example, but later convince herself that a thief is going to come into her room and hurt her. So she demands that you stay with her for the night. Or, after pretending to be Ariel saving the underwater world from the mean witch, she may refuse to go to bed, saying that she is scared of the dark. She may even begin to develop new fears - of escalators or high places, for example.

At this stage, a sensitive child may try to avoid fantasy and feelings of power altogether. She may be too fearful to elaborate or even create fantasies and be passive, scared, and shy. She may be obedient in many ways, clearing her dishes off the table and putting away her toys, but she may then put up a fuss at going to a new playground or making new friends.

In school, the sensitive child may be a quick and eager learner, absorbing with her keen attentiveness everything the teachers say, do, or expect. Or, on the other hand, the sensitive child may be overloaded at school because of the number of people, the variety of sounds, and the complexity of beginning to learn so many new things.

As this child turns seven and eight, if she is secure enough to take her family for granted, she moves more fully into the rough-and-tumble world of peer relationships. But she may become overwhelmed by the complex "politics of the playground." Unable to negotiate these, she may feel defeated. "Katherine hates me! She won't pick me for the kickball team!" Or, "My teacher doesn't like me. I put my hand up and she looks at me funny and the answer goes right out of my head, and then she thinks I'm just a big dummy."

Some sensitive children may choose to avoid playground politics altogether. They may stay on the periphery, watching the recess-time basketball games and jump-rope competitions from the sidelines of the playground. Such a child doesn't participate in the jockeying for friends that other seven- and eight-year-olds engage in. She becomes very distressed when a child she particularly likes won't play with her or makes fun of her, and she sometimes feels so hurt that she decides it is better to be done with the whole thing. She may talk to her parents about her loneliness, or she may hold it in. For many parents, watching their child in such a situation can be very painful!

Sensitive children are unusually vulnerable to feelings of embarrassment and humiliation. They may feel very angry at people who make fun of them. Mild teasing that other children take more or less in stride ("Jeffrey wears goofy shoes!" or "Ashley's hair is funny") is intensely painful to some sensitive children. "No one likes me," one eight-year-old told me sadly. "Everyone hates me. I'm a bad person."

As they get closer to the age of ten, children become more able to balance the peer group pressures with an emerging sense of themselves. But the overly sensitive child may have had such a hard time negotiating the politics of the playground that she is still focused on her peer group, struggling with the hurts or embarrassments, or finding a better way to sit on the sidelines and not jump in.

In order to be able to develop her own internal values, a child needs first to master the issues of the peer group. As the child moves ahead intellectually, dealing with the more abstract issues of what she is like and what other people are like, we may see the struggles she is undergoing very vividly. The sensitive child may wrestle with a desire to be more independent and yet be so wrapped up in the day-to-day squabbles of the peer group that she has little opportunity to explore the world inside her.

One moment she may say, "I shouldn't care what someone thinks of me. I know I'm a good person - lots of people like me." And the next minute she is saying, "Mommy, will you talk to Vanessa's mother and make her play with me?" or "I know what I'll do. I'll ignore her and she'll have to come talk to me!"

Even when the sensitive child is making progress in negotiating the many stages of development, parents may find it especially baffling that their child varies so much in day-to-day mood and outlook. That is because sensitive children, like all challenging children, have a wider range of behavior than more easygoing children. One moment they can appear mature, respectful, empathetic, compassionate. Then, later that day or the next day, they are crawling under tables, whining, clinging, throwing tantrums, and bossing everyone around. Parents often feel that they are on a roller coaster with their child, in an unpredictable "ride" of shifting moods and behavior.

Parents might find some reassurance in the realization that while they can't predict how their child will act from one moment to the next, they can predict that there will be a large variation in the child's mood. They might remember the old story about the king who told his wise men that he would cut their heads off unless they found him something that would make him happy when he was sad, and sad when he was happy. After struggling for months, their lives hanging in the balance, the wise men presented the king with a ring with a message. "This, too, will change," it said.

This insight will be reassuring when a sensitive child is in one of her more infantile moods, but not reassuring when she is being mature and helpful! But the awareness and expectation that her mature mood will also change can help parents avoid being too shocked or disappointed when, once again, they see that their child hasn't "gotten over it," or they realize they haven't mastered "the problem."

Over time, this range of behavior can gradually shift to higher and higher levels. Her "best" behavior, over time, can become better and her "worst" behavior can become not quite so difficult. But keep in mind that this is usually a slow and gradual change.

How It Feels to Be a Sensitive Child
Think about all the ways that our senses can give us pleasure and open us up to the world. We are soothed by soft strokes on the cheek, cheered by a friendly arm around the shoulder, uplifted by the exhilarating sound of a marching band. We enjoy the clean scent of freshly washed clothes, and we smile at the bright face of a clown.

These sensations, however, are entirely different for the highly sensitive child. A friendly touch might feel harsh to her. Certain sounds may seem to come out of a bullhorn. Certain smells seem oppressive. Even bright colors can overwhelm.

Imagine how you would feel if, for example, you attended a rock concert after staying up the previous night consuming cup after cup of strong coffee. The sound would probably grind right through you, while the flashing lights and crowded bodies would be bewildering, overwhelming. Many overly sensitive children feel this way every day, as if they have little barrier between themselves and the rest of the world. They feel as if things are happening to them, rather than feeling that they have much control over their life.

These physical sensitivities take many forms. The sensitive child may dislike being tickled or cuddled. Walking through a crowded school hallway or playground is daunting because it means brushing up against so many bodies. Deep voices or loud machines can set a sensitive child's teeth on edge. Even a mother's voice can be irritating.

Some children are sensitive to movement in space. They may dislike sensations that children ordinarily love - the fast rush down a slide, pumping higher and higher on a swing, whirling around a merry-go-round.

Some children are oversensitive to certain sights, although this particular sensitivity isn't as common as sensitivity to touch or sound. These children almost see too much: they are so aware of what they see that they become frightened or overwhelmed. They sometimes react to just part of a visual image, rather than the entire image. For example, they may be frightened by a clown's face or a cartoon figure because they focus on just part of it-the big red lips or nose, for example, or the bright orange hair. They are unable to view those features as part of something that others see as comforting and funny.

Because sensitive children are so tuned into sensations, they tend to experience the world in little pieces. They see the details, but miss the big picture. Such a child may, for example, look at a picture and describe the details first. "I see a tree with pink flowers, and another tree that doesn't have any flowers," she may say, "and a red-and-white tablecloth on the ground. And four people are sitting around the tablecloth." In such a manner, the child pieces together what the picture is about: four people having a picnic in the woods.

In school, these children may do well in subjects that involve grasping details, such as vocabulary, spelling, and language skills. But subjects that are more abstract, such as scientific concepts or math, may cause them difficulties. Sometimes they may feel so confused and overwhelmed in class that they appear to be learning disabled, although they may be quite capable of grasping the material.

The highly sensitive child tends to be very perceptive, sensing every nuance and subtlety of her world. "Molly looked at me funny today," eight-year-old Fanny may inform her parent about a friend who threw her a quick glance during social studies. This child is also very sensitive to the feelings of others; she can "read" other people through their expressions, their body language, the voice tone. However, because she is so perceptive, she can sometimes be too affected by the moods and feelings of others. Adults who have such traits often say they wish they had "thicker skin."

A tendency to get lost in the details further intensified by a challenge they have in dealing with spatial concepts may mean that certain children get lost easily. Not being able to figure out distances easily, they feel less secure than other children, and panic easily when their parents leave them. An ability to picture spatial concepts is also an important component of any "big picture" thinking - seeing how the pieces fit together in a particular situation (or life in general).

In addition to spatial difficulties, the overly sensitive child can also experience motor-planning challenges - that is, the skills that are required to carry out a series of action sequences, such as putting on socks or remembering a nighttime routine of brushing teeth, putting on pajamas, and kissing mom and dad goodnight. This challenge can be very perplexing to parents, because their son or daughter otherwise seems so bright. The problem may be so severe that a teacher may raise questions about attention problems, or even the possibility of medication.

So if your child has a "gift of gab" and can stay on the subject while talking, but gets lost when she has to do anything that involves a sequence of movements, the difficulty may be a very circumscribed part of a motor-planning problem. Your child is well organized when operating in an area of strength, but may appear disorganized when dealing with an area of vulnerability.

Some sensitive children are overstimulated not only by outside sensations, but also by internal forces as well - that is, their own emotions. They experience their feelings very intensely. Such a child may throw herself on the floor sobbing when she is sad, jump up and down and scream when she is happy, and shriek and pound the walls when she is angry. Never is there a middle ground: no pleasure is merely mild, no irritation is slight, and sadness is felt as despair. She may also complain of sore muscles, stomachaches, and other pains. Because of her sensitivity to internal experiences, puberty may be especially troubling because of all the new sensations and stirrings of her body.

The foregoing profile is a broad cluster of ways that sensitivity commonly manifests itself in a child. Not every boy or girl who appears cautious and fearful has these sensitivities. And not every child with these physical sensitivities comes across as cautious and fearful.

Article with thanks to Family Education

Work that Works for Sensitive Souls: Six Steps to Transforming Your Career

By Jenna Avery, CLC, Life Coach for Sensitive Souls

Have people always called you “too sensitive?”

Do you try to hide it, pretend it doesn’t exist, or work around it as much as possible?

Many Highly Sensitive Souls believe that our sensitivity makes us weak, weird, or different.

Actually, being sensitive makes us highly aware, caring, and perceptive.

For more information, see my article “Are You Highly Sensitive?”

In the workplace, the gift of sensitivity may feel like a handicap. As Sensitive Souls, we care passionately about our work and it tremendously impacts our well-being.

I am a fervent champion of work for Sensitive Souls where we can fully contribute and feel deeply satisfied by our efforts. So how is this possible?

Create Work that Works

Work for Sensitive Souls must feed our minds, hearts, and souls. We must make a contribution that resonates to our core.

To do otherwise is to invite despair, confusion, and sorrow. The traditional structure of working culture isn’t always supportive of our needs.

So we must create work that works ourselves, whether by creating our own positions or businesses, working in less mainstream positions and companies, or adapting our current jobs to better suit us.

In order to create work that works, I believe that Sensitive Souls can benefit from the following explorations.

1. Tune Into Yourself

A critically important aspect is to know yourself. This may seem obvious, but many Sensitive Souls get lost in the expectations of others and become disconnected from ourselves. When we discover our own passions, values, personality, gifts, and dreams, we steer clearly toward work that supports our true nature.

How do we tune into these magical inner clues? I’m a huge advocate for self-discovery. For example, working with a life coach is a powerful means of accessing the truth of who you are, what you want, and where you want to go.

A coach supports you to claim your dreams and discover your talents in a safe space. Additionally, meditation, listening to your intuition, journaling, and personality discovery work are great self-facilitation approaches.

2. Factor In Your Soul

As Sensitive Souls, we require work that is meaningful, intellectually stimulating, and creative. It must be a true calling. One way to think about this is to remember the “meaning factor.”

That is, the intangible satisfaction we get from doing work that is important to us.

As you contemplate career options, be sure to consider whether the work will be satisfying intellectually and creatively, while also meeting other requirements like income and location.

Look for what you are naturally drawn to and excited about as critical clues to what will ultimately be most rewarding. Your passions will guide you to your deepest truth.

3. Create an Ideal Career Checklist

When looking for a job or making a career change, remember to “think outside the box.” Draw on your innate ingenuity. A helpful technique is to develop an Ideal Career checklist.

Consider the environment, people, type of work, pay, hours, emotional climate, and intellectual challenge, alongside soul requirements such as your gifts, sensitivity, passions, dreams, and meaning factor.

In other words, know what you must have, need, and want. When you know what works for you and what doesn’t, potential jobs are easier to evaluate. You might even consider adapting your current job to meet your ideal!

4. Do Take Your Sensitivity to Work

Your sensitivity is an important part of who you are. It’s one of the unique gifts you bring to work. Your empathy, emotions, creativity, and thoughtfulness are part of your valuable skill set that makes for authentic work relationships, dynamic invention, and compassionate service.

One way to use your sensitivity is to share your insights, intuition, and gut responses in meetings and with co-workers.

You can also use your sensitivity interpersonally.

Take a deep breath, tune in, and ask: “How can I best be of support here?” Let your sensitivity guide you.

5. Support Your Sensitivity and Practice Self-Care

Career transformation challenges Sensitive Souls because standard formulas don’t work well for us, like 40-plus-hour workweeks, commutes, fluorescent lights, and cubicles.

We require physically and emotionally supportive environments along with plenty of independence and privacy.

In addition, each sensitive person has specific challenges – such as people, noise, or light. It’s important to know which of these are significant for you and to learn how to address them.

For example, you might bring in an incandescent lighting source or create a cubicle of plants to define your space. You might also learn protective energy techniques for interpersonal challenges.

And remember: Take great care of yourself both inside and outside work! It’s important to recognize that self-care is a REQUIREMENT for a Sensitive Soul.

It is fundamental to making a meaningful contribution to the world. This means making sure to get plenty of sleep, eat well, take time for yourself, and engage in soul nourishing activities like art, gardening, cooking, or being in nature.

6. Get Support

Many of us have been hurt by our prior work experiences. We bring our tender souls with us wherever we go, and transforming our careers can bring up painful emotions.

This is a normal part of healing and transforming a career. Sometimes it can be an obstacle to simply know what we want. Be sure to ask for support from friends, coaches, therapists, or career counselors.

Above all, remember: You are here for a reason.

In the words of Woodrow Wilson, “You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world.”