tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-606549983092035882024-03-05T20:17:50.981-08:00Sensitivity-HSPLady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-68638878472551289952015-10-19T22:30:00.002-07:002015-10-19T22:30:49.170-07:00I am an empath<br />
<img alt="4129191684_7d7a1f6824_z" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-997316" src="http://images.elephantjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/4129191684_7d7a1f6824_z.jpg" /><br />
<h3>
Article not written by me but taken from http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/traits-of-an-empath-how-to-recognise-one/</h3>
<h3>
</h3>
<h3>
I am an empath.</h3>
I have always known I was quite different to many of those around me.
Discovering more about the empath personality type has led me to
discover a good understanding of myself, and also my relationships with
others and the world that surrounds me.<br />
<br />
For so many years I felt like an alien on this planet. I often used
to say, “I am not of this world.” I didn’t know many people who were
like me, who felt things the way I did or who could relate or resonate
to things in a similar way to which I did.<br />
<br />
The most striking thing for me about being an empath is the way I
feel the physical, mental and emotional pain of others as though it were
my own. This can be and has been emotionally and physically crippling
and it has caused me to suffer tremendously. It is often described as
being similar to a sponge, absorbing every emotion and piece of energy
around me, and then becoming weighted down by it.<br />
<br />
Learning about the empath personality type helped me greatly, as not
only do I now understood myself better, I have also learned how to
protect myself and not allow outside toxic energies, emotions or
behaviors to affect me negatively.<br />
<br />
Rather than absorbing all other energies, I now observe them. This
prevents me from becoming overwhelmed, exhausted, suffering mentally or
physically and being overly emotional.<br />
<br />
An empath is someone who is highly sensitive to the energy and
emotions emanating from people, animals and everything that exists
around them. They have the ability to scan other people’s auras and
souls and can intuitively pick up on past, present and even future
thoughts and feelings and can quite accurately determine another
person’s emotional, mental and physical state.<br />
<br />
The saying “never judge a book by its cover” would ring true for an
empath. Never would they trust the outer appearance or deceptive
superficial exteriors; they will always sense what goes on behind the
masks, if they trust their own judgment.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately all too often an emapth is led to believe that these
paranormal type skills do not exist in today’s world and their words are
criticised, disbelieved and are told to be wrong. Downplaying an
empath’s intuition, will benefit someone who may be trying to manipulate
or use trickery, or someone with very little faith that these abilities
exists.<br />
<br />
It is vital that, to thrive, the empath personality type needs to
work towards learning to trust their own judgment and intuition so that
they can be at one with the inherent superpowers they have been born
with.<br />
<br />
If an empath does not have a good understanding of themselves and how
to work with energy rather than pushing against it or absorbing it all,
not only can this be emotionally debilitating, it can also result in
physical illness with depression, stress and anxiety taking a toll on
the body and a very high chance of suffering from the effects of
burnout.<br />
<br />
Like with all things, there are variations of the empath personality
type. Some people will identify strongly, others will only recognise
themselves in a few of the following traits:<br />
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>1. Feels calmer when alone, and, in relationships, requires distance and regular periods of solitude.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>2. When in the company of others an
empath struggles to work out whether they are feeling their own emotions
or the emotions of those around them.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>3. Struggles to remain present as the
chaos of emotions around them pushes and pulls on an empath’s own
thoughts, feelings and emotions.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>4. Often says yes to others without thinking of their own needs.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>5. In relationships or friendships,
very often puts other people before themselves, as though everyone
else’s pleasure and happiness is more important than their own.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>6. Relationships can often move too
fast and can become intense very quickly as the empath connects on a
deep, intimate level very quickly due to the ability to absorb other
people’s energy and emotions.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>7. An empath will often take full
responsibility for how others treat them and for anything that goes
wrong in relationships. They have a great amount of compassion and can
clearly see other people’s emotional baggage and so they make many
excuses for why people behave as they do, and this is very often to the
detriment of an empath.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>8. Tends to connect with people who
are suffering and often wants to heal others or try to make the world a
better place for them.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>9. Can find themselves taking on and
absorbing other people’s problems and being used as a sounding board or
dumping ground so that others can offload their emotional baggage.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>10. Instinctively knows when someone around them is not being truthful.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>11. Sometimes empaths just know
things, without having any idea of where they gained the information.
When trying to work out the truth from a lie it can seem as though the
information has been presented forward so that it can be used to help
make a decision. The empath should only trust the information if they
are highly skilled at reading themselves and others accurately and if
paranoia or other information is not clouding their judgement.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>12. An empath’s mind is an
inquisitive one and they are constantly searching for answers and
theorize and philosophise constantly.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>13. An empath who is highly in tune
with themselves and skilled at reading others will often be able to pick
up on someone else’s thought processes even if they are thousands of
miles away.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>14. Connects very strongly to the
animal kingdom and identifies very easily with the emotional and
physical pains that animals go through.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>15. Is often most at peace and feeling harmonious when spending time with nature and roaming around the outdoors.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>16. Can feel the energy surrounding
physical things and will often choose clothing or material purchases
based on the energy that has attached to them.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>17. Very creative and highly
imaginative, writing, art, music, painting, dancing, acting, painting,
building and designing are a few of the traits that empaths very often
are passionate about.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>18. An empath will likely get
distracted easily when they are doing things they don’t enjoy and will
quickly zone out or day dream when placed in situations where their mind
is not stimulated.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>19. Can struggle to fully relax in
the company of others and really let their hair down and have fun,
unless they are extremely comfortable and at ease with those surrounding
them.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>20. Prefers their living space to be
clutter free and minimalistic; chaotic surroundings make for chaotic
minds for an empath and they have enough inner sensations happening
without cluttering their psyche further.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>21. Finds it very difficult to be
around people who are egotistical or enjoy putting others down to make
themselves look better. Empaths will often come to the defense of those
that have been rejected or bullied in any way.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em> 22. Crowded places are emotionally overwhelming and downtime is required after social gatherings.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em>23. Highly sensitive to sounds, smells, bright lights and the feel of certain fabrics.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em> 24. Regularly suffers with fatigue and can feel drained following interactions with others.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<em> 25. Can become shy and withdrawn as a
method of self-protection. This can result in empaths becoming
introverts as a way of avoiding the emotional and physical pain that
often stems from interactions.</em></div>
<div style="padding-left: 30px;">
<br /></div>
Other people may see empaths as moody or loners due to the amount of
alone or downtime they need. Others may struggle to understand that
these things are just part of the personality type and feel comfortable
and the most natural ways to exist for an empath. Empaths do like
connection, but they need to balance that out by creating a safe space
for themselves to exist in alongside it.<br />
Supermarkets, bars/clubs, family gatherings and any crowded event can
all be energetically overbearing. Frequent downtime or escapism to a
garden, bathroom or kitchen will occur to temporarily break away from
the intensely high energy that occurs when many people are close
together in the same venue..<br />
<br />
Empaths may have an addictive personality and can pick up habits such
as drinking alcohol, playing online games or excessively indulging in a
particular interest as a form of escapism to blot out feeling so much
pain.<br />
<br />
Listening to or watching local or worldwide news can be traumatic as
the pain or violence the people or creatures involved experience is
often transferred onto the empath as though the pain was theirs.<br />
Empaths are free spirits, adventurers, life-seekers, rule breakers,
they live outside the box. Often it can seem to others as very
unconventional or unorthodox lifestyles. However, these lifestyles often
suit an empath perfectly and feel to them the most natural way to live.<br />
<br />
As empaths learn more about themselves, many of the traits above can
become a thing of the past, or a new way of dealing with them is
discovered so that they do not have negative side effects. While many
people may recognise themselves in the traits above, there will be some
who who see a lot of these things as how they used to be before finding
ways to combat or work towards understanding areas so that life becomes
less painful.<br />
<br />
The key to thriving as an empath is to recognise each of the traits
and then spend time thinking about each one and looking at how it may be
negatively impacting or hindering a certain part of life. When we have a
good understanding of how a certain characteristic affects us, we can
work out ways to turn any trait that may have negative side effects into
positive ones.<br />
<br />
The easiest way to look at the empath type is as though the
personality is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing to have the
ability to feel and experience life at such a highly sensitive level, so
the joy and love around them will feel like constant electric pulses
beating through them. However, the curse is that the lows are felt at an
equal intensity.<br />
<br />
When empaths learn to protect themselves by becoming consciously
aware of how they are allowing outside energy to penetrate them, they
are then in a position to turn the curses to blessings so that the
painful and toxic energies are not absorbed within the psyche/soul.
Empaths must be sure to surround themselves with others whose energies
vibrate at a similar frequency so that they are not vulnerable and
exposed to energy that can cause them harm. Self-protection is vital. I
will cover all aspects of self-protection in a follow-up article.<br />
<br />
Being an empath really is a beautiful way to live and to experience
life. Finely tuning our frequency so that we keep our energy levels high
and refuse to take on or absorb anything that will harm us is the
simplest, harmonious and magically unique way to exist.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/vNFWrn8BT2E/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/vNFWrn8BT2E?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-87651134413794679642013-03-11T07:59:00.000-07:002013-03-11T07:59:14.594-07:00ADHD Causes in the Home?<h1 class="slab light huge ">
A new study links impulsive behavior in kids to chemicals that may be lurking in your kitchen or on your clothing.
</h1>
<div class="grid_3 sans neutral2 author_text">
By Emily Main <br />
<div class="grid_3 article_title kill_side_margins floatright">
<div class="clear-block block block-addthis floatright" id="block-addthis-0">
<div class="block-inner">
<h2 class="title">
</h2>
<div class="content">
<div class="addthis_toolbox addthis_default_style ">
<span class="addthis_separator"></span><a class="addthis_toolbox_item addthis_button_email at300b" href="http://www.organicgardening.com/living/adhd-causes-home?cm_mmc=LivingLightlyNL-_-1223992-_-03112013-_-adhd_causes_in_the_home_title#" title="Email"><span class="at16nc at300bs at15nc at15t_email at16t_email"><span class="at_a11y"><br /></span></span></a></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<img alt="common house hold chemicals linked to ADHD" src="http://www.organicgardening.com/sites/default/files/living-ADHD-320.jpg" style="float: right; height: 280px; margin: 5px; width: 320px;" />Data just released from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) show that rates of <a href="http://www.rodale.com/lead-smoking-and-adhd" target="_blank">attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)</a>
continue to rise, jumping from 6.7 percent of U.S. children in 2000 to 9
percent of U.S. children in 2009.<br />
<br />
As doctors and scientists try to
uncover the <a href="http://www.rodale.com/causes-adhd" target="_blank">causes of ADHD</a>,
attention is turning to all the chemicals children and pregnant moms
encounter in their daily lives. "Certainly there's a genetic component
to the disorder," says Brooks Gump, Ph.D., M.P.H., associate <a href="http://www.organicgardening.com/living/adhd-causes-home?cm_mmc=LivingLightlyNL-_-1223992-_-03112013-_-adhd_causes_in_the_home_title#" id="_GPLITA_0" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by CouponDropDown">professor</a>
in the department of public health, food studies, and nutrition at
Syracuse University, noting that roughly 50 percent of cases are
genetic. "But there are environmental factors involved, as well."<br />
<br />
The
disorder has already been linked to pesticides found in chemically grown
food, and now Gump has shown in a new study that one of the chemical
causes of ADHD might be perfluorinated chemicals (PFCs), a class of
highly toxic chemicals used to make stain- and water-repellent fabrics
and nonstick cookware that linger in the environment for very long
periods of time, building up in the blood of animals that enter the food
chain and, ultimately, in people.<br />
<br />
There have been a few observational studies finding associations
between a diagnosis of ADHD and high PFC levels in blood. But Gump's new
study, published recently in the journal <em>Environmental Science & Technology</em>,
shows real-world situations in which children with high PFC levels
exhibited characteristics of the disorder, mainly impulsive behavior.<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>THE DETAILS:</strong> Eighty-three children between the ages
of 9 and 11 took part in the study. Blood samples were taken and
measured for the presence of 11 different PFCs, including PFOA, used to
manufacture Teflon and other nonstick finishes, and PFBS, a chemical
made by 3M to replace the toxic PFOS, which was found to cause liver
damage and increase chances of infant mortality before 3M phased it out
10 years ago. Then the children took a 20-minute computer test designed
to detect something called impaired response inhibition, or impulsive
behavior, a primary characteristic of children with ADHD. "What it
translates into are risky behaviors that ultimately may translate into
things like drug use," says Gump. Children who are too impulsive have
also been found to have lower IQs, he adds, and can have difficulty
stopping certain behaviors when asked. "For whatever reason, impulsivity
is a cognitive process that's particularly sensitive to toxicants."<br />
<br />
During the computer game, the children were told they could win 25
cents if they could wait 20 seconds before hitting the space bar, with
the potential to win $15 upon completion of the game; responses made
sooner than 20 seconds indicated a child with high impulsivity. The
authors found that the higher a child's PFC blood level, the shorter his
or her response time was, and those children's response times got
shorter and shorter as the 20-minute game wore on. The strongest
association between the chemicals and impulsive behavior was seen in
children with high levels of PFHxS, a PFC that was also made by 3M (and
also phased out 10 years ago) that was widely used in carpet treatments
and in some forms of food packaging. It was detected at some level in
all the children participating in the study, as were PFOA and PFOS.<br />
<br />
<strong>WHAT IT MEANS</strong><br />
We're just beginning to understand the sometimes-subtle effects of
these ever-present chemicals. "PFCs are so prevalent," Gump says.
"There's so little research about what the effects of these are on
cognitive function, yet everyone has them in their blood." And he adds
that the levels of PFCs found in the children in his study are not
unusual, based on blood tests conducted on the general public by the
CDC. Because these chemicals are so ubiquitous, he wasn't able to
determine whether children were being affected by PFCs in their current
environment or had been exposed to high levels prenatally. Prenatal
exposure, he writes in his study, might explain why these children, born
in the late 1990s, when PFC use peaked, are more likely to show signs
of ADHD.
<br />
<br />
A 2008 study has shown that, as with many of the other persistent
chemicals that build up in our environment (such as pesticides),
contaminated food and water are our primary exposure sources for PFCs.
The next-highest source is spray-on water- and stain-repelling clothing
treatments and carpet treatments, such as Scotchgard. Third in that list
is food packaging: Microwave popcorn, fast-food wrappers, butter
wrappers, and pizza boxes may contain PFC-based coatings to prevent
grease from soaking through the paper, giving you one more reason not to
eat fast food!<br />
<br />
<strong>Here are a few more ways to avoid exposure to PFCs:</strong><br />
• <strong>Eat super-green fish.</strong> Researchers are just
beginning to understand where the PFCs in our food come from, but it's
widely accepted that contaminated fish are a big source of exposure.
Choose <a href="http://www.rodale.com/safest-fish-eat" target="_blank">healthy fish</a> that have low levels of all contaminants to avoid exposure to these unhealthy chemicals.<br />
<br />
• <strong>Learn to cope with stains.</strong> Carpet treatments and
after-market stain repellents that we spray on our clothes and furniture
could lead to hyperactive kids, as well as moms and dads with <a href="http://www.rodale.com/nonstick-cookware-and-teflon-dangers">thyroid problems.</a> Follow our tips for <a href="http://www.rodale.com/laundry-stains" target="_blank">cleaning clothing</a> and removing <a href="http://www.rodale.com/removing-pet-urine" target="_blank">carpet stains</a> without resorting to toxic stain-repellent sprays. Also, consult Rodale's <a href="http://www.rodaledigitalbooks.com/nontoxic_back_to_school" target="_blank">Nontoxic Back-to-School Shopping Guide</a> e-book for ideas on outfitting children with rain gear and umbrellas that aren't coated in PFC-based water-repellent coatings.<br />
<br />
• <strong>Choose healthy cookware.</strong> Nonstick pans aren't thought to be a major source of PFC exposure when new, but as the cookware ages and the coatings <a href="http://www.organicgardening.com/living/adhd-causes-home?page=0,1&cm_mmc=LivingLightlyNL-_-1223992-_-03112013-_-adhd_causes_in_the_home_title#" id="_GPLITA_0" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by CouponDropDown">start</a> to wear off, you might wind up adding PFCs to your dinner without realizing it. Choose <a href="http://www.rodale.com/nonstick-cooking" target="_blank">healthy cookware</a> that's free of nonstick coatings when replacing your old pots and pans; you might even find it functions better in the kitchen.<br />
Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-8383565208107225032013-02-08T01:17:00.001-08:002013-02-08T01:17:50.270-08:00Save Your Son from the Violent Boy Culture<br />
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" itemprop="name">
<br />
</h3>
<div class="post-header">
</div>
<h1>
</h1>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSepP0N-RGok1SmotOZ5Z2cNvnZKVzfU3PlEr6OEtwRT1G1GPFO3Q" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSepP0N-RGok1SmotOZ5Z2cNvnZKVzfU3PlEr6OEtwRT1G1GPFO3Q" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Increased violence by young males is spinning out of control,
especially in the U.S. Since the 1999 Columbine shooting, there have
been 31 school shootings. Violence and violent images permeate our
society. Boys are constantly bombarded with the false information that
real boys must always be strong, aggressive, tough, in control, and
repress their feelings. Boys are continually saturated with this
distorted version of manhood from television and movies, video games,
the Internet, peers, coaches, and other adults.<br />
In the last 15 years the violent video games and movies children have
been exposed to have become more graphic than ever. And now the
ubiquitous Internet allows our boys to be brainwashed constantly with
horrific, savage images of what a man is supposed to be like. One study
showed that children in America between the ages of 5 and 18 have
watched 20,000 murders and 100,000 acts of violence on television. And
violent media does spur real-life aggression. Research has consistently
shown that after watching violent movies, children interact in an
aggressive manner, while after watching movies about kindness, children
treat one another with gentleness and compassion.<br />
<h2>
Why Boys Act Aggressively</h2>
Most boys are taught from an early age to act tough and repress their
emotions. It’s important to understand that violent male behavior may
stem from the perpetrator’s fear that he isn’t behaving aggressively
enough and may be thought of as feminine. However, the behavior that is
associated with girls (actions that demonstrate empathy, sensitivity,
and compassion) are also natural male traits— they are simply not
recognized as such in many societies. Boys need to be taught that
sensitivity and compassion are natural male traits.<br />
<h2>
What Can Parents, Teachers, and Mentors Do?</h2>
<h3>
Mom Can Help Her Son Become Compassionate</h3>
Never tolerate anyone shaming your son when he expresses gentle,
compassionate behavior. Help your son understand the causes for
society’s negativity toward gentleness in males and talk with your son
about all of the positive aspects of being a compassionate boy.<br />
<h3>
Your Son and Violence</h3>
Monitor your son’s exposure to violence as much as possible and
provide nonviolent games and activities. Encourage your son to hang out
with friends who enjoy less-violent games. Frequently discuss the
harmful effects that exposure to violence can have on him. Create safety
for your son when he engages in potentially dangerous activities, i.e.
establish rules for fair fighting.<br />
<h3>
Ways to Increase Your Son’s Empathy</h3>
Taking care of a pet not only teaches a boy responsibility, but
through cuddling a kitten, for example, he will learn about the sanctity
of all life. Caring for a pet will make him less likely to mistreat an
animal. Have your son interact with people of different faiths,
nationalities, and races, to learn the commonality of humanity. Expose
your son to the arts. Increase your son’s respect for Mother Nature by
visiting an orchard, or nursery, spending time at a lake, river, or the
ocean, or gardening.<br />
<h3>
Dad Raising an Empathic Boy</h3>
Talk often with your boy about what it really means to be a man.
Reassure him that he doesn’t need the approval of aggressive boys, star
athletes, or the alpha male to feel good about himself. Let your son
know that it’s okay for him to express fear and sadness and ask for
help. Discuss with your son the detrimental consequences of violent
males being so frequently extolled in the media. Read books or watch
movies with your son about the lives of great spiritual men, i.e. Jesus,
St. Francis, Moses, the Buddha, and discuss how they have created peace
on Earth through righteous behavior.<br />
<h3>
Help Your Son Navigate the Cruel Boy Culture</h3>
Make sure you always defend your boy if others shame him when he
expresses his feelings. Teach your son how to respond to aggressive
children by role-playing with him. Model setting limits with others so
that your son will learn how to set boundaries with violent peers. Let
your son know that it’s okay to set personal boundaries with others
rather than going along with peer pressure.<br />
<h3>
Father-Son Activities</h3>
To increase your son’s compassionate nature, it would be good
sometimes to do activities with your son that help people, animals, and
the environment, such as planting trees or cleaning up trash in your
community. Volunteer to help out in a hospital, nursing home, or animal
shelter. If you have carpentry skills, you and your son could help a
neighbor, friend, or relative fix up their house or your own house.<br />
<h3>
Teachers Creating a Boy-Friendly Classroom</h3>
Since boys learn differently from girls, encourage your son’s teacher
to incorporate more movement during instruction and take physical
breaks between subjects, incorporating active learning games and more
outdoor learning. Creating goals and using games will create motivation.
Assemble a team of at least three parents of boys to meet with your
son’s teacher and/or principal (or your PTA) to discuss how to make your
son’s class more boy- friendly.<br />
<h3>
Learning Compassion in the Classroom</h3>
Encourage your son’s teacher to create a class constitution with the
help of the students, detailing how they should treat one another, and
ask the teacher and students to sign it. Suggest that your son’s teacher
give rewards to students for kindness and good sportsmanship. Ask your
son’s teachers to read and discuss exciting tales that promote noble and
brave qualities of heroes who help others. You and your son’s teacher
should let him know that everyone has different abilities and interests
and that those differences need to be respected.<br />
<h3>
Dealing with Bullying</h3>
Ask your son’s principal to institute a school-wide no-bullying
policy and have all the teachers trained in a bullying-prevention
program. Have your son tell a teacher, principal, or lunchroom personnel
who can help to stop the abuse. Encourage your son to enlist the help
of a friend or a group that can help him to stand up to bullies. Let
your son know that bullies feel worthless and the only way they can feel
important is by hurting others.<br />
<h3>
Create a New, Nonviolent World</h3>
Once the younger generation learns that love and compassion for all
living beings is the most important value every person must imbibe,
there will be a veritable leap in consciousness on the planet. Wars and
conflicts will become a thing of the past, because wars begin in the
minds of people, and there is no room for human or environmental
destruction in the political or corporate leader with a consciousness
saturated with love and compassion for all human beings and Mother
Earth.<br />
<em>Ted Zeff, Ph.D. is the author of <strong>Raise an Emotionally Healthy Boy: Save
Your Son from the Violent Boy Culture</strong>. For more information please visit <a href="http://drtedzeff.com/zshop/">the Z-Shop</a> or <a href="http://www.amzn.com/096607453X/?&tag=hspsurvivalco-20">Amazon.com</a>.</em>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-77338400988596469762013-01-30T02:14:00.000-08:002013-01-30T02:14:20.058-08:00Raise an Emotionally Healthy Boy: Save Your Son from the Violent Boy Culture.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51GKR2TS4cL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51GKR2TS4cL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA300_SH20_OU01_.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Introducing a new book by Ted Zeff, Ph.D.<span style="color: black;">: <i>Raise an
Emotionally Healthy Boy: Save Your Son from the Violent Boy Culture</i>. The
book contains hundreds of practical methods </span>to help parents raise their
son to express his emotions and develop compassionate behavior, as well as specific
strategies to help boys navigate through the violent boy culture<span style="color: black;">. The book is available on amazon: </span></span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"> <a href="http://www.amzn.com/096607453X/?&tag=hspsurvivalco-20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span style="color: #204cbb;">http://www.amzn.com/096607453X/?&tag=hspsurvivalco-20</span></a></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="color: black; font-size: 16.0pt;">at Barnes & Noble or by
visiting <a href="http://www.drtedzeff.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><span class="yshortcuts" id="lw_1359540611_0">www.drtedzeff.com</span></a>. </span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13.0pt;"></span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Are you concerned that your son is constantly
bombarded with false information that real boys must always be strong,
aggressive, tough, and repress their feelings? What can parents do when their
son is exposed to graphic, violent images of what a man is supposed to be like?
How can parents help their son grow into an emotionally healthy, compassionate
man when he is continually saturated with this distorted version of manhood
from television, computer games, the Internet, movies, peers, coaches, and
other adults?</span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">In this groundbreaking book, psychologist Ted
Zeff provides parents, educators, and mentors with many original and proven
methods that will help boys grow into compassionate and emotionally healthy men
who can transcend violent male behavior. Dr. Zeff offers practical advice that
will help boys express their feelings, exhibit empathy, and increase their
self-esteem in the family, at school, with friends, and in sports.</span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">“Proven techniques to help parents raise their
son to express his emotions and develop compassionate behavior, and specific
strategies that will help boys to navigate through the violent boy culture.”</span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">-Michael Gurian, author of <i>The Wonder of
Boys</i></span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">“<i>Raise an Emotionally Healthy Boy”</i> is a
boon for our entire planet. The book provides many original, practical ideas
for parents and teachers to help boys grow into compassionate and emotionally
healthy men who can transcend male violent behavior. Give a copy to everyone
you know who is helping to raise a boy.”</span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">-Elaine Aron, Ph.D., author of <i>The Highly Sensitive Child</i></span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">“I met Ted Zeff when we both worked with youth
in San Francisco 30 years ago. He was a great counselor then and now he is even
a greater counselor and writer. His insights into raising young men are what is
needed now. Trust me, I have been all over the United States making
documentaries for PBS on reducing violence in schools. I implore you to listen
to his excellent suggestions to raise compassionate, non-violent boys. He's
right on.”</span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">-Mike Pritchard, Host of PBS Documentary <i>Save
Our Schools from Hate and Violence</i> and <i>Stepping on Up</i></span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">“Ted Zeff has provided everyone who cares
about kids with an excellent road map to get us closer to a society where our
boys become more fully human, more emotionally intelligent. That would mean a
world of men better able to protect the planet and the next generation from the
kind of emotionally disconnected aggression that threatens us all.”</span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">-James Garbarino, PhD, Professor of
Psychology, Loyola University Chicago, and author of <i>Lost Boys</i></span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Thank you for your interest.</span></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="yiv1026462626MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">Ted Zeff, Ph.D.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;"><a href="http://www.drtedzeff.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.drtedzeff.com</a></span> Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-36734634852452192382012-11-19T22:57:00.002-08:002012-11-19T22:57:55.848-08:00A Love Note to the “Hyper-Sensitive” and “Takers-of-it-Too-Personally”Today I would love to share a beautiful blog posting by Randy Buckley from het blog page on : http://www.randibuckley.com<br />
<br />
<div class="headline_area">
<h1 class="entry-title">
A Love Note to the “Hyper-Sensitive” and “Takers-of-it-Too-Personally”</h1>
<div class="headline_meta">
by <span class="author vcard fn">Randi</span></div>
</div>
<em>This post is inspired by a Facebook query and conversation with
the deeply insightful and thoughtful, Erika Harris. If this speaks to
you, I encourage you to check out her <a href="http://www.empathicwriter.com/">website</a> and gorgeous offerings. <strong>Thank you Erika for your grace and bright light. </strong></em><br />
<br />
<strong>They say:</strong> You’re too sensitive. You take it too personally. You’re thin-skinned. You need to toughen up.<br />
<br />
<strong>I hear:</strong> I have no idea how in touch with the world
you are, nor can I grasp the depths of your empathy, from which I
benefit. It’s like you can see colors that are naked to my eye. You
carry the awareness of others, of those far away, those unseen, in your
heart on behalf of us all. You are the torchbearer of the forgotten.
You bear the weight of other’s pain so they have a lifeline into the
rest of humanity. You are a barometer for how we are doing as a
species. I can’t imagine the space you hold for others to show up and
feel cared for and acknowledged even when no one else can see that it’s
you doing this. You take on my share of pain when my words sting you.
You bear witness so that we know, so we cannot forget. Your mere
presence is equanimity. Your energy is generously used in service of
your ability to intuit and sense even the most subtle change in weather,
perspective, mind or heart. I’m not aware that your sensitivity can
cause you physical pain. You are a canary in the coal mine of our
culture, and are wrecked by violent movies, news of pain, and
mistreatment of fellow humans, animals, and the earth. If I knew the
depths of your consideration I’d be humbled and inspired. I didn’t see
or have the consideration that you are a gift and could be treasured.
Your light is omnipresent. I don’t know to pay attention. <em><strong>I don’t understand, even though I am the beneficiary of your grace. </strong></em><br />
<br />
<strong>I say:</strong> <em>Thank you, friend. Rest and take care. We need you. </em>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-9925454400905835972012-11-05T09:53:00.002-08:002012-11-05T09:53:58.060-08:00Feeling like a victim<div class="page-title">
How highly sensitive people can become victims and what they can do to stop <br />
</div>
<div class="article-meta">
<span class="submitted">Published on September 7, 2012 by <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/experts/deborah-ward" title="View Bio">Deborah Ward</a> in <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity">Sense and Sensitivity</a></span></div>
<div class="article-meta">
<span class="submitted"> </span>
</div>
<div class="article-content-top">
<a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/mating" title="Psychology Today looks at Mating "> </a><div class="article-image-wrap article-image-wrap-article-inline-half" style="width: 230px;">
<img alt="" height="246" src="http://rsrc.psychologytoday.com/files/imagecache/article-inline-half/blogs/72076/2012/09/105712-103314.jpg" title="" width="320" /><div class="article-image-caption">
Photo by nirrimi<br />
<br />
</div>
</div>
In an earlier <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201201/the-highly-sensitive-person-and-the-narcissist">post</a>,
I wrote about the vulnerability of highly sensitive people to negative
types of people, like narcissists. Because of their compassionate and
empathetic <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/environmental-psychology" title="Psychology Today looks at Environmental Psychology">nature</a>,
many HSPs unwittingly attract people who will use the HSP for their own
gain and consequently drain the energy out of them in the process. When
this <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201209/feeling-victim#" id="_GPLITA_3" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by DownloadNSave">kind</a> of relationship becomes a pattern, it is all too easy for the HSP to take on the role of victim.</div>
<div class="article-content-top">
<br />
Assuming
the victim role is not a natural or inevitable consequence of being
highly sensitive, but it is a common one. Highly sensitive people are
often misunderstood and misinterpreted as being socially anxious,
depressed, insecure or possessing any number of other issues. When you
are constantly being <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201209/feeling-victim#" id="_GPLITA_5" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by DownloadNSave">told</a> that you are too <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/shyness" title="Psychology Today looks at Shyness">shy</a>, too reserved, too quiet and too sensitive, you <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201209/feeling-victim#" id="_GPLITA_0" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by DownloadNSave">begin</a>
to think there is something wrong with you. And when other people begin
to take advantage of your sensitive nature, you can easily begin to
feel like a victim.<br />
</div>
<div id="inline-content-bottom-left">
<br />
</div>
But thinking of oneself as a victim is often a belief we’re
not consciously aware of. Feelings of self-doubt, and believing that we
somehow deserve the treatment we’re receiving, however unpleasant, often
stems from <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/child-development" title="Psychology Today looks at Child Development">childhood</a>.
A repeated belief in oneself as deserving of some kind of victimhood is
usually the result of actual victimisation at an earlier stage, such as
facing a <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/bullying" title="Psychology Today looks at Bullying">bully</a> at <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201209/feeling-victim#" id="_GPLITA_2" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by DownloadNSave">school</a> or a controlling <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/parenting" title="Psychology Today looks at Parenting">parent</a>
at home. After many years of mistreatment or even misunderstanding, the
victim mentality becomes ingrained to the degree that people begin to <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201209/feeling-victim#" id="_GPLITA_4" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by DownloadNSave">believe</a> it, even when they are not even aware of it.<br />
<br />
Thinking of oneself as a victim is not only bad for your <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/self-esteem" title="Psychology Today looks at Self-Esteem">self-esteem</a>,
it’s also destructive to your relationships. People who are mired in
victimhood expect to be treated badly, which means that they will become
attracted to anyone who wants to use or abuse them and will actually
feel uncomfortable around someone who treats them with unconditional
love, simply because it feels so unfamiliar.<br />
<br />
So how does a person
who is highly sensitive to their environment and to the feelings of
others protect themselves not only from the malevolent intentions of
narcissists, but from the negative victim belief that increasingly
develops in their own mind? Here are a few first steps:<br />
• Recognise the words in your mind that repeat themselves, such as ‘I don’t deserve any better’ or ‘I’m such a loser’<br />
•
When you hear those familiar phrases in your mind, remember that they
were probably spoken to you by someone who was suffering themselves, and
didn’t know the real you<br />
• Recognise that none of those negative
things about you are true – you were told lies but now you now the truth
– you are a kind, compassionate person who deserves unconditional love<br />
• Stop accepting anyone who talks to you negatively or treats you badly.<br />
• Create a new belief system for yourself, beginning with the belief that you are not a victim<br />
<br />
It is the beliefs in our <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/unconscious" title="Psychology Today looks at Unconscious">subconscious</a>
mind that often control our behaviours, actions, decisions and choices
in life. If you suspect that you have been treated like a victim, take
the first step by refusing to act like a victim any more. You don’t have
to be angry, but you do need to stop beleiving the negative talk in
your head. Once you do that and start thinking of yourself in a more
positive way, your life will begin to change for the better and the
narcissists will stop beating a path to your door. All they will find is
a door that won’t <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sense-and-sensitivity/201209/feeling-victim#" id="_GPLITA_1" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="Click to Continue > by DownloadNSave">open</a> to anything but kindness.Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-15606644698719779592012-10-01T14:01:00.000-07:002012-10-01T14:01:21.802-07:00THE COEXISTENCE OF SENSITIVITY & OVEREATING<div class="headline_area">
<h1 class="entry-title">
</h1>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" height="200" src="http://i42.tinypic.com/20qgdgp.jpg" width="300" /></div>
<br />
The correlation between being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and an
emotional eater is too significant not to share. It’s a pairing that I
see often – and one that I see in myself. The aim of this post is to
share my knowledge of the Highly Sensitive Person in an effort to
provide a sense of sanity to your emotional eating habits. If you are
anything like me, the tremendous shame surrounding your overeating has
caused you to retreat from the world in an effort “fix” yourself. When
you begin to understand that <strong>the reason you are overeating is perfectly justified and completely sane</strong> – your mission to “fix” yourself will gently fade away.<br />
<br />
So what exactly is a Highly Sensitive Person? Being highly sensitive
means you pick up more sensory inputs from your environment — you feel
things more intensely (both your own feelings and those of others) and
reflect deeply before acting. In addition to having heightened sensory
input, HSP’s are often physically sensitive to specific foods, making
digestive issues and auto immune disorders commonplace. Because of this
high level of processing and analyzing, the body and mind are more
likely to be overwhelmed, overstimulated and over aroused. This is
precisely where food comes into play. <strong> </strong><br />
<br />
<strong>Overwhelm is the
catalyst for unconsciously using food as a coping mechanism to
oversensitivity of outside people, places, situations, and especially
emotions.</strong> Food becomes an escape route from a world that seems
too much handle. The HSP becomes a sponge for the stress of the world –
literally absorbing it into their bodies.<br />
Highly Sensitive People have a strong propensity to live in their
heads – their strength lies in analysis. The downside of hibernating in
your head is that anxiety undoubtedly finds you there and will hold on
to you for dear life. When you feel yourself overwhelmed with anxiety,
seeking solace with food – <strong>recognize your need to retreat</strong>.
When we honor that we are sensitive beings – we honor the part of us
that needs time to recharge, restore and rest. It’s a balance of
finding life’s confines and the confines of our sensitive bodies – and
finding a way to flourish within their boundaries.<br />
<br />
I know being highly sensitive may seem like a weakness given it is
masked in your overeating habits – but when you are not coping, your
sensitivity will paradoxically be your greatest gift. Because HSP’s
have the capacity to see what others may miss, they are natural
visionaries, peacemakers, creatives and humanitarians. So you see, <strong>you are not a problem to be “fixed”, rather a tenderness to appreciate.</strong><br />
<br />
To gain a deeper understanding of the Highly Sensitive Person, I highly recommend Elaine Aron’s, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Elaine-Ph-D/dp/0553062182" target="_blank">The Highly Sensitive Person.</a><br />
<br />
Source: http://katestefans.com/?p=328 Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-81541066267547279162012-08-12T23:53:00.000-07:002012-08-12T23:53:16.824-07:00Understanding the Highly Sensitivity Person: Sensitive, Introverted, or Both?Today I would like to share a post by Elaine Aron as published in Psychology Today
Published on July 21, 2011 by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. in Attending to the Undervalued Self<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://rsrc.psychologytoday.com/files/imagecache/article-inline-half/blogs/36192/2011/07/69820-60370.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="136" src="http://rsrc.psychologytoday.com/files/imagecache/article-inline-half/blogs/36192/2011/07/69820-60370.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="blog-header-description">
<span style="font-size: large;">A fresh approach to those times when you doubt your own worth </span></div>
<div class="blog-header-byline">
by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. </div>
<div class="blog-header-byline">
</div>
<div class="blog-header-byline">
After reading <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201107/sense-and-sensitivity">Sense and Sensitivity</a> in the July/August Psychology Today [Note: <em>full text available in printed edition only at this time</em>]<em>,</em> an
article about highly sensitive people (HSPs), Ron wrote, "I quickly
identified with being highly sensitive. I won't bother covering ...
why... let's just say reading the article was enough to make me cry.
When I read that one in five HSPs were actually <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/extroversion" title="Psychology Today looks at Extroversion">extraverts</a> and that their exhaustion from social interaction often inaccurately labeled them as <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/introversion" title="Psychology Today looks at Introversion">introverts</a>
... I froze. I'm not a social introvert, I'm a sensitive extravert! The
realization opened up a whole world of answers to questions I've had
that were never answered by always approaching my <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/personality" title="Psychology Today looks at Personality">personality</a> from the perspective of being an introvert."</div>
<div class="blog-header-byline">
</div>
<div class="blog-header-byline">
If you read some descriptions of introversion, they can sound very
much like high sensitivity: Both introverts and HSPs reflect deeply,
like meaningful conversations, and need lots of down time. Thus it is
not surprising that 70% of HSPs are introverts. But that means 30% are
extraverts—why is that? Clearing up the introversion-sensitivity
distinction is something I am trying to do all the time, because people
like Ron are left out and confused when we equate these two terms.<br /> <br />Why
the confusion? Most people equate introversion and extraversion with
sociability—that is, to what extent you have a large circle of friends
and can enjoy meeting strangers and socializing in large groups. This
has little to do with high sensitivity, in that high sensitivity lies
deeper. It is an innate trait. Degree of sociability or extraversion (in
this sense) is highly heritable, but sociability is not itself the
trait that is inherited. Wearing skirts is highly heritable, too, but
there is no <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/genetics" title="Psychology Today looks at Genetics">gene</a> for it. It's highly heritable because <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/gender" title="Psychology Today looks at Gender">gender</a>
is, and most skirts are worn by women. Likewise, low sociability is
strongly associated with sensitivity because many HSPs become
introverted to avoid the overstimulation that can go with social
interactions, especially if they <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/fear" title="Psychology Today looks at Fear">fear</a>
social judgment due to past bad experiences. But there is considerable
research to show that sensitivity is the more basic trait.<br />
<br />
Some
sensitive people, however, adopt a different strategy early on. For
them, being around people is not so arousing, and sometimes even
soothing, although ultimately every sensitive person who is an extravert
still needs some down time. From my interviews, I found that sensitive
extraverts often grew up in a small community or neighborhood where
people knew each other. One I know was the daughter of a minister;
another was raised on a commune. Many had good childhoods and were
secure within their families, making them more secure socially.<br />
<br />
When
I say that introversion and extraversion (degree of sociability) are
not in themselves innate, I will be stepping on some toes. The fact is
that our names for traits have been determined up to now by our
descriptions of how people act and probably always will be. "He's so
sociable" or "quick tempered." "She's so funny" or "very <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/shyness" title="Psychology Today looks at Shyness">shy</a>."
Now we are just beginning to find out more about the genes behind the
behaviors we observe. The genetic variations behind extraversion
probably do not govern social behavior so much as the general tendency
to seek new stimulation in search of rewarding experiences, people being
one of the best sources of rewards. Hence this trait is often called
high <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/sensation-seeking" title="Psychology Today looks at Sensation-Seeking">sensation seeking</a>.
High sensation seeking and high sensitivity are a new generation of
trait terms, based less on observable behaviors and more on evolution
and genetics.<br />
<br />
Back to extraverted HSPs: You can inherit the
genetic variations that lead both to being highly sensitive and a high
sensation seeker, so this may be another way, besides being raised to be
social, that you can be both highly sensitive and extraverted, but it
may be more accurate in this case to call it <a class="ext" href="http://www.hsperson.com/pages/1May06.htm" target="_blank" title="HSPs and High Sensation Seeking">highly sensitive and high sensation seeking</a><span class="ext"></span>. This combo, as one person put it, "is like driving with one foot on the gas, the other on the brake."<br />
<br />
Being extraverted or a high sensation seeker and being highly sensitive <a class="ext" href="http://lifeworkshelp.com/newsletter/8/AnInsiderViewoftheEstravertHighSensationSeekingHSP.html" target="_blank" title="Insider View of being an HSP High Sensation Seeker">is a great blend to be</a><span class="ext"></span>.
You can be a natural leader, once you learn how to express yourself to
non-HSPs, who can find your insights amazing, but also strange or
difficult to accept. For example, when you see injustices or hurtful
behaviors, like all HSPs, your strong emotional reactions kick in. But
you are more likely than other HSPs to find yourself standing on a soap
box trying to get others to understand the consequences of their harmful
behavior. Then maybe someone says you are overreacting or being an
oddball. You may retreat, feeling embarrassed, angry, or just
overexposed. Similarly, HSPs are often able to see problems in others'
plans. If they stay quiet they often see things turn out badly, but if
they speak up they are seen as pessimists, naysayers, or too critical.
You, the extraverted HSP, are likely to speak up.<br />
<br />
With practice,
however, all HSPs can learn to use their sensitivity to know just what
to say, with just the right finesse to ensure that their voice and
perceptions will be heard. We can have an enormously good impact on
causes we deem worthy of our time and energy. But remember, we all still
need extra down time: I recommend eight hours of <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/sleep" title="Psychology Today looks at Sleep">sleep</a> or at least in bed, per day, and another two hours of additional down time, preferably meditating, but walking in <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/environmental-psychology" title="Psychology Today looks at Environmental Psychology">nature</a>
alone or doing routine tasks quietly, while letting your mind rest or
wander, are also good. You can take down time even stuck in traffic if
you turn off your audio inputs for once! The point is, in particular if
you are a sensitive extravert, you need to pay special attention to
taking care of yourself because life is so rich and exciting. You are a
special breed.<br />
</div>
Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-43949965586377378372012-07-11T03:48:00.000-07:002012-07-11T03:48:24.781-07:0010 Myths About Introverts<div class="img-holder">
<div class="clearfix">
<div class="img-caption">
<img alt="" height="300" src="http://www.creativitypost.com/images/made/images/uploads/popculture/Iintrovert_610_300_s_c1_center_center.jpg" width="610" /></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="gray-block style-bolitalic">
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Photo credit @ <a href="http://www.murmur.pl/">Anna Wojnarowska</a></em></span></h2>
<h2>
<em></em>Synopsis</h2>
Labeling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full of common misconceptions. <br />
</div>
<em><br /><a href="http://www.murmur.pl/"></a></em><br />
<em>This article originally appeared at <a href="http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts">Carl Kings'</a> website <a href="http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts">Carlkingdom.com</a></em><br />
<br />
<br />
Some time ago I was lucky enough to discover a book called, <a href="http://hiddengiftsoftheintrovertedchild.com/"><strong>The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney, Psy.D.</strong></a>
It felt like someone had written an encyclopedia entry on a rare race
of people to which I belong. Not only had it explained many of my
eccentricities, it helped me to redefine my entire life in a new and
productive context.<br />
<br />
Sure, anyone who knows me would say, “Duh! Why did it take you so long
to realize you’re an Introvert?” It’s not that simple. The problem is
that labeling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full
of common misconceptions. It’s more complex than that.<br />
<br />
A section of Laney’s book (page 71 through page 75) maps out the human
brain and explains how neuro-transmitters follow different dominant
paths in the nervous systems of Introverts and Extroverts. If the
science behind the book is correct, it turns out that Introverts are
people who are over-sensitive to Dopamine, so too much external
stimulation overdoses and exhausts them. Conversely, Extroverts can’t
get enough Dopamine, and they require Adrenaline for their brains to
create it. Extroverts also have a shorter pathway and less blood-flow to
the brain. The messages of an Extrovert’s nervous system mostly bypass
the Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, which is where a large portion of
contemplation takes place.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, according to the book, only about 25% of people are
Introverts. There are even fewer that are as extreme as I am. This leads
to a lot of misunderstandings, since society doesn’t have very much
experience with my people. (I love being able to say that.)<br />
So here are a few common misconceptions about Introverts (not taken
directly from the book, but based on my own life experience):<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.</strong>
This is not
true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They
hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are
interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.</strong>
Shyness has nothing to
do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of
people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for
the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start
talking. Don’t worry about being polite.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.</strong>
Introverts often don’t
see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They
want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not
acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to
fit in, which they find exhausting.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.</strong>
On the
contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can
count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an
introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for
life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance,
you’re in.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.</strong>
Nonsense.
Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also
like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities.
They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t
need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home,
recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial
for Introverts.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.</strong>
Introverts
are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot.
They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve.
But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to
share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere
connection with ONE PERSON at a time.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.</strong>
Introverts are often
individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued
for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of
that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions
based on what is popular or trendy.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.</strong>
Introverts are
people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their
thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying
attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner
world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.</strong>
Introverts
typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places.
Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is
too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are
too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and
Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.<br />
<br />
<strong>Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.</strong>
A
world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists,
musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers,
and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques
an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I
reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society
is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their
natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one
study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts
increases with IQ.<br />
<br />
“You cannot escape us, and to change us would lead to your demise.” <-- I made that up. I'm a screenwriter.<br />
<br />
It can be terribly destructive for an Introvert to deny themselves in
order to get along in an Extrovert-Dominant World. Like other
minorities, Introverts can end up hating themselves and others because
of the differences. If you think you are an Introvert, I recommend you
research the topic and seek out other Introverts to compare notes. The
burden is not entirely on Introverts to try and become "normal."
Extroverts need to recognize and respect us, and we also need to respect
ourselves.<br />
<br />
About Carl King the author of : <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Creative-Genius-Now-What/dp/1932907920/">"So, You're a Creative Genius....Now What?"</a><br />
<br />
Under the names Sir Millard Mulch and Dr. Zoltan Øbelisk, Carl King has
recorded or performed with Devin Townsend, Marco Minnemann, and Virgil
Donati. His 2005 album, How To Sell The Whole F#@!ing Universe To
Everybody... Once And For All! was co-released through Trey Spruance of
Mr. Bungle's Mimicry Records. It was named as one of the top musical
moments of 2005 in The San Francisco Bay Guardian. He is a pioneer
drum-programmer and is endorsed by Toontrack's Drumkit From Hell
software. The highest and lowest points of his music career were having
lunch with (and then failing an invite-only bass audition for) Steve
Vai. Carl has written for mental_floss, INK19, and 2600: The Hacker
Quarterly. He lives in Los Angeles and has never owned a car.<br />
<br />
Source: http://www.creativitypost.com/pop-culture/10_myths_about_introvertsLady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-28783908291947983002012-02-15T11:01:00.002-08:002012-02-15T11:01:57.202-08:00Labeling Kids with Bogus 'Mental Disorders'<br />
<h1>
</h1>
<div class="wp-caption alignleft" id="attachment_8540" style="width: 346px;">
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wv49RFo1ckQ"><img alt="" class="size-full wp-image-8540 " height="405" src="http://www.cchrint.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/Jordan-32.jpg" title="Jordan-3" width="336" /></a><br />
<div class="wp-caption-text">
20
million children are labeled with "mental disorders" that are based
solely on a checklist of behaviors. There are no brain scans, x-rays,
genetic or blood tests that can prove they are mentally ill, yet these
children are prescribed dangerous and life-threatening psychiatric
drugs. Child drugging is a $4.8 billion-a-year industry.</div>
</div>
<br />
<span style="color: maroon;"><b>1) THERE ARE NO TESTS IN EXISTENCE THAT CAN PROVE MENTAL “DISORDERS” ARE MEDICAL CONDITIONS</b>. <b>PSYCHIATRIC DIAGNOSIS IS BASED SOLELY ON OPINION.</b></span><br />
The psychiatric/pharmaceutical industry spends billions of dollars a
year in order to convince the public, legislators and the press that
psychiatric disorders such as Bi-Polar Disorder, Depression, Attention
Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, etc.,
are medical diseases on par with verifiable medical conditions such
as cancer, diabetes and heart disease. This is simply a way to maintain
their hold on a $84 billion dollar-a-year psychiatric drug industry
that is based on marketing and not science. Unlike real medical
disease, there are no scientific tests to verify the medical existence
of <i>any</i> psychiatric disorder. Despite decades of trying to
prove mental disorders are biological brain conditions, due to chemical
imbalances or genetic factors, psychiatry has failed to prove even one
of their hundreds of so-called mental disorders is due to a faulty or
“chemically imbalanced” brain. To counter this obvious flaw in their
push to medicalize behaviors, the psychiatric industry will claim that
there are certain medical conditions that do not have a verifiable test
so this is why there isn’t one for “mental illness.” This is frankly a
lame argument; Whereas there may be rare medical conditions that do not
have a verifiable medical test, <a href="http://www.cchrint.org/psychiatric-disorders/psychiatrists-on-lack-of-any-medical-or-scientific-tests/">there are virtually <i>no</i> psychiatric disorders that can be verified medically as a physical abnormality/disease.</a> Not one.<br />
In fact the “brain scans” that have been pawned off as evidence that
schizophrenia or depression are brain diseases, are simply bogus. Most
have not been done on drug naive patients, meaning someone who has not
been on psychiatric drugs such as antipsychotic drugs, documented to
cause <a href="http://www.cchrint.org/2010/07/07/exclusive-anti-psychotics-likely-to-cause-brain-damage-new-study-says/">brain atrophy (shrinkage)</a>. Other brain scans have shown the brains of <i>smaller </i>children to show smaller brains in comparison to larger/older children and then claimed children with ADHD have smaller brains. <i>None have been conclusively proven to verify mental disorders as abnormalities of the brain. </i><br />
<div class="general_caption_box" style="float: right; margin: 0 0 0 1em;">
<a href="http://www.cchrint.org/videos/disorders/disorder/" style="color: blue;"><img alt="mental disorder psychiatric disease bipolar depression adhd mental illness" class="size-full wp-image-1031" height="133" src="http://www.cchrint.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/difference_disease_disorder_dst_218x133.png" title="mental disorder psychiatric disease bipolar depression adhd mental illness" width="218" /><br />
The Difference Between a Medical<br />
Disease and a Psychiatric Disorder</a><br />
<a class="a2a_dd" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cchrint.org%2Fvideos%2Fdisorders%2Fdisorder%2F&title=The%20Difference%20Between%20a%20Medical%20Disease%20and%20a%20Psychiatric%20Disorder&description="><img alt="Share/Save/Bookmark" border="0" height="16" src="http://static.addtoany.com/buttons/share_save_106_16.gif" width="106" /></a></div>
If there were such verifiable brain scans, or in fact any
medical/scientific test that could show a physical/medical abnormality
for any psychiatric disorder, the public would be getting such tests
prior to being administered psychiatric drugs.<br />
This is fact: There are no genetic tests, no brain scans, blood
tests, chemical imbalance tests or X-rays that can
scientifically/medically prove that any psychiatric disorder is a <i>medical </i>condition. Period. Whereas real diseases are discovered in labs, psychiatric disorders are invented by committee and <b>voted into existence.</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><b><span style="color: maroon;">2. YES, PEOPLE CAN GET DEPRESSED, SAD, ANXIOUS AND EVEN ACT PSYCHOTIC. THAT DOESN’T MAKE THEM MENTALLY “DISEASED”</span><br />
</b></span><br />
No one is saying that people don’t get depressed, sad, troubled,
anxious, nervous or even sometimes act psychotic. The question then is
simple—is this due to some mental “disease” that can be verified as one
would verify cancer or a real medical condition? And the answer is
No. For example, can soldiers returning from war experience extreme
and often debilitating stress? Yes. It is something wrong with their
brain? No. It’s the horrors of war. Can children become distracted
and not pay attention? Since time immemorial, the answer is yes. But
psychiatry has pathologized childhood behaviors into a “mental illness.”
The same is true of mothers. Can a new mother become distraught
after a joyous occasion such as the birth of a child? Yes. Is it a
brain abnormality or mental disease? No. And is the most humane
solution to put these people on drugs <a href="http://www.cchrint.org/pdfs/The_Side_Effects_of_Common_Psychiatric_Drugs.pdf">documented by international regulatory agencies</a>
to cause mania, psychosis, worsening depression, heart attack, stroke,
sudden death? Or for new or nursing mothers to risk birth defects or
damage to their infants from being prescribed such powerful drugs?<br />
This is also true of people diagnosed “schizophrenic.” There is no
medical test to verify someone has a brain abnormality or medical
condition of <a href="http://www.moshersoteria.com/litrev.htm">schizophrenia</a>.
And while no one claims people can’t become psychotic, the fact
remains there is no biological evidence to support schizophrenia as a<i> brain disease</i> or <i>chemical abnormality</i>. And consider this, if people do become psychotic, or irrational, is it in fact caused by some <a href="http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/articles/diamond.htm">underlying medical (not psychiatric) problem</a>? And why did <a href="http://psychrights.org/research/Digest/NLPs/OutcomeFactors.pdf">a 15-year multiple follow up study find that</a> there was a 40% recovery rate for those diagnosed schizophrenic who did <i>not</i>
take antipsychotics, versus a 5% rate for those who did? What happened
to their supposed “brain disease?” Did it simply vanish? Moreover, if
they could recover from such a mental state, do they deserve the
“stigma” of “schizophrenia” still being part of their permanent medical
record? For life? Think about it. Imagine you were extremely
overweight—obese. You lose all the weight so you are no longer obese.
Yet your medical records continue to say that you are.<br />
And if schizophrenia is in fact a “disease” despite the fact there is
no medical or biological evidence (note we did not say speculation, or
theories, but evidence) then why is it that psychiatrist Loren Mosher,
the former Chief of Schizophrenia Research for the National Institute
of Mental Health (NIMH) would openly state <b>there is no biological condition of schizophrenia as a disease or brain malfunction? And why <i>didn’t</i> the mental health industry take advantage of his <a href="http://www.moshersoteria.com/bola.pdf">2-year-outcome studies</a> proving that those diagnosed schizophrenic could recover without the use of drugs? </b>Is
it because this proved that recovery was possible and thereby
disproved the theory that something was wrong with their brain? Or was
it the fact that they recovered without the use of drugs, thereby
threatening a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical industry? Maybe this
explains why Mosher was <a href="http://www.moshersoteria.com/">fired from his position at NIMH.</a><br />
<div class="general_caption_box" style="float: left; margin: 0 1em 0 0;">
<a href="http://www.cchrint.org/pdfs/The_Side_Effects_of_Common_Psychiatric_Drugs.pdf" style="color: blue;"><img alt="psychiatric drugs side effects drug regulatory warnings fda" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-1033" height="204" src="http://www.cchrint.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/the_side_effects_common_psych_drugs_dst_153x204.png" title="psychiatric drugs side effects drug regulatory warnings fda" width="153" /><br />
The Side Effects of<br />
Common Psychiatric Drugs</a><br />
<a class="a2a_dd" href="http://www.addtoany.com/share_save#url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cchrint.org%2Fvideos%2Fdisorders%2Fdisorder%2F&title=The%20Difference%20Between%20a%20Medical%20Disease%20and%20a%20Psychiatric%20Disorder&description="><img alt="Share/Save/Bookmark" border="0" height="16" src="http://static.addtoany.com/buttons/share_save_106_16.gif" width="106" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: maroon;"><b>3. THE CAMPAIGN TO “STOP THE STIGMA OF MENTAL ILLNESS” IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY… BIG PHARMA</b></span><br />
With a seemingly altruistic agenda, the fact is the campaign to end
the “stigma” of mental illness is one driven and funded by those who
benefit from more and more people being labeled mentally ill—pharma,
psychiatry and pharmaceutical front groups such as <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/22/health/22nami.html?_r=2&src=twr">NAMI</a> and <a href="http://www.ahrp.org/cms/content/view/178/100/">CHADD</a> to name but a few. For example, take <a href="http://www.cchrint.org/tag/psycho-pharmaceutical-front-groups/nami/">NAMI’s campaign to stop the “stigma” and “end discrimination”</a>
against the mentally ill—the “Founding Sponsors” were Abbott Labs,
Bristol-Myers Squibb, Eli Lilly, Janssen, Pfizer, Novartis, SmithKline
Beecham and Wyeth-Ayerst Labs. (For an in-depth look at what else Pharma
funds and how this funding not only helps set mental health policies
but campaigns such as this, read Pharmaceutical Industry Agenda Setting
in Mental Health Policies at the bottom of this post)<br />
The fact is that the “stigmatization ” is coming from those that
benefit from people being labeled/stigmatized with mental disorders that
have <a href="http://www.cchrint.org/tag/psychiatric-disorders/psychiatrists-on-lack-of-any-medical-or-scientific-tests/">no medical/biological evidence</a>. Case in point, if you are rebellious, you are “stigmatized” with the label <a href="http://nestmann.sovereignsociety.com/2010/09/16/are-independent-thinkers-mentally-ill/">“oppositional defiant disorder.”</a> If your kid acts like a kid he is “stigmatized” with the label <a href="http://network.nationalpost.com/NP/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2010/04/27/john-baglow-message-to-disease-industry-that-s-why-they-call-it-acting-like-a-child.aspx">“ADHD.”</a> If you are sad, unhappy (even temporarily) you are “stigmatized” with the label <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/15/opinion/15frances.html?_r=1">“depressive” or “bi-polar disorder.”</a> If you are shy you are “stigmatized” with the label <a href="http://motherjones.com/politics/2002/07/disorders-made-order">“social anxiety disorder.”</a> Moreover, you or your child are now <a href="http://www.examiner.com/mental-health-in-portland/psychiatric-overdiagnosis-means-normal-could-become-obsolete">stigmatized for life</a>
as this label, which is based solely on opinion, is now part of your
medical record, despite the fact there is no medical evidence to prove
you are “mentally ill”.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span style="color: maroon;">4. PSYCHIATRIC “LABELS”</span></b><span style="color: maroon;"> <b><i>ARE</i> THE PROBLEM</b></span><br />
Increasing numbers of people realize that just because a child
fidgets, or loses pencils or toys—criteria for an “ADHD” diagnoses, this
doesn’t mean a child is mentally ill. In fact many now claim that
children diagnosed “ADHD” are really suffering from lead toxicity, or
allergies, or poor diet, or lack of reading skills, and not a mental
“illness.” The problem is that they continue to use the psychiatric
label, ADHD, which stigmatizes a child as “mentally ill.” If in fact a
child suffers from led toxicity, then why not call it lead toxicity? If
he hasn’t been taught to read, why don’t we just say he hasn’t been
taught to read? The same is true of all psychiatric diagnoses—every
single psychiatric label stigmatizes the person being labeled.
Psychiatric diagnoses are simply lists of behaviors that psychiatrists
have compiled into little lists, given a name, added “disorder” on the
end— then voted them into their billing bible, the Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) as “legitimate.” This is
big, big business, but it isn’t even close to legitimate diagnoses.
Not in any medical or scientific context. A profit making context?
Sure. Because coming up with new lists of behaviors and new
“disorders” is the bedrock of the multi-billion dollar
psychiatric/pharmaceutical industry. Its how they get paid. Remember,
no psychiatric label, no billing insurance. No psychiatric label, no
drug prescribed. So until we stop using these psychiatric labels,
which mean nothing other than what some psychiatrists decided was a
mental “illness, ” we will never stop the “stigma.” Because the
psychiatric labels are backed by corporate interests—not medicine, and
not science.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: maroon;"><b>5. </b><b>PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS ARE BIG BUSINESS—AND THE PSYCHIATRIC/PHARMACEUTICAL INDUSTRY IS MAKING A KILLING—$84 BILLION PER YEAR.<br />
</b></span><br />
The primary reason people take psychiatric drugs is because they’ve
been taught to believe they have a medical condition called a
psychiatric disorder, which then justifies taking drugs to treat it.
This is a brilliant marketing campaign, but it is not science. Any drug
changes behavior or mood, whether cocaine, alcohol, marijuana or
heroin. This does not mean someone who acts or feels differently on
cocaine does so because they had a cocaine imbalance which the cocaine
then corrected. It means that drugs changes mood, emotion and
behavior. But while the illicit use of drugs is universally frowned
upon, and considered a bad way for people to deal with their problems,
psychiatric drugs are made out to be “good” drugs, despite the fact many
are more addictive than cocaine or heroin, and have side effects that
rival such hardcore street drugs as LSD, heroin and crack cocaine.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><b><span style="color: maroon;">6. WHERE TO GET THE FACTS ABOUT PSYCHIATRIC DRUGS RISKS AND SIDE EFFECTS</span><br />
</b></span><br />
Because the public has been so mislead by the psychiatric/pharmaceutical industry on the dangers of psychiatric drugs, <span style="color: red;"><a href="http://www.cchrint.org/psychdrugdangers/">CCHR has created a one-of-a-kind, easy to search psychiatric drugs side effects database</a></span>,
containing all international studies and drug regulatory warnings that
have been issued on both classes of drugs (antidepressants,
antipsychotics, anti-anxiety drugs, stimulants, etc) and brand names
such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Risperdal, Seroquel, Ritalin etc. These
are provided by CCHR as a free public service to help people make
educated decisions based on facts, not marketing campaigns<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="color: maroon;"><b>7. WHY SAFE, EFFECTIVE TREATMENTS TO MENTAL DIFFICULTIES ARE KEPT BURIED</b></span><br />
The larger problem is that the biological drug model (based on the
bogus mental disorders are a disease marketing campaign) prevents
governments from funding <a href="http://www.cchrint.org/resources/">real medical solutions</a>
for people experiencing difficulty. And there are workable,
non-harmful medical treatments that do not receive government funding
because the psychiatric/pharmaceutical industry spends billions of
dollars on advertising and lobbying efforts, including hundreds of their
pharma funded “patient’s rights” groups to counter any medical
modality that does not support their biological drug model of mental
disorders as a disease. Why? Billions of dollars in revenue for the
psycho/pharma industry would be lost. This is an industry that time and
again, has been proven to put profit above patients lives.<br />
See various non-drug solutions/alternatives here:<br />
<a href="http://www.cchrint.org/alternatives/">http://www.cchrint.org/alternatives/</a><br />
<br />
Bron: Citizens Commission on Human Rights InternationalLady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-37022566142618366752012-01-17T03:52:00.000-08:002012-01-17T03:53:42.260-08:00Love and Asperger's syndrome<div class="firstPar" style="font-family: inherit;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://covers.openlibrary.org/b/id/2990232-L.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://covers.openlibrary.org/b/id/2990232-L.jpg" width="206" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>He's gentle, unworldly, highly attentive and
charmingly old-fashioned. The catch? The very things that make Keith so
attractive to Sarah are symptoms of Asperger's. Anna Moore meets the
couples living with this surprisingly common condition </b></span>
</div>
<div class="secondPar" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Sarah Hendrickx and Keith Newton sit tilted towards one
other, laughing a lot and disappearing down the occasional alley of
in-jokes, as couples do when they're still in that early, besotted
stage.</span></div>
<div class="thirdPar" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Keith has just arrived at Sarah's home in Hove and they're
clearly delighted by the prospect of the next few days together. As
always, Keith has switched off his mobile phone because, as he puts it,
'my time here is with Sarah'. They won't see anyone else - Keith has no
friends of his own and doesn't feel comfortable socialising - but plan
to eat lots of chocolate, walk and watch television. 'We spend a lot of
time feeling smug,' says Sarah, 'because we see other couples who don't
look very happy.'</span></div>
<div class="fourthPar" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">In a few days, though, Keith will drive back to Wickham,
Hampshire, 50 miles away, where he lives alone and works as a computer
programmer. This will always be the case. Despite meeting five years
ago, they won't 'progress' as other couples do. They'll neither live
together nor have children. Although there's only a year between them,
at 39 Keith is so gangly, gawky, boyish and cute that he could be ten
years younger than he is. </span></div>
<div class="fifthPar" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Yet Sarah - who had a child at 19 and has two marriages
behind her - is confident that few women could put up with him. 'God,
he's so gorgeous he could have anyone - but not for long,' she says,
laughing. 'Three or four months max… then, when the conversation turns
to homes and babies and bank accounts, he'd be gone!' The two burst into
laughter.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="body" style="font-family: inherit;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">It wasn't always like this. The couple met through internet
dating and the first stage of their relationship was fiery and fraught.
To Sarah, Keith was 'a puzzle'. He'd plainly state that their blissful
weekends were enough for him, that he'd never live with her or even move
nearer. Sarah frequently found him selfish, cold and distant. Keith
found Sarah hard work, demanding and 'screechy'.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Ultimately, only one thing allowed them to start again from
scratch - they uncovered the reason for Keith's 'insensitivity', his
aloofness, the fact that he could see no future with Sarah nor seemed to
want one: Keith has Asperger's syndrome (AS).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Such a late diagnosis is not uncommon. Asperger's - a
developmental condition that falls within the autism spectrum - was
identified more than 60 years ago but became a standard diagnosis only
in 1992 when it entered the World Health Organisation's diagnostic
manual. As a result, the majority of adults with the syndrome almost
certainly grew up without knowing they had it. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Estimates vary enormously as to the prevalence, but one in
100 people is thought to be on the autism spectrum, and it is more
common in males by a ratio of nine to one. People with AS normally have
above-average intelligence but great difficulties with empathy,
communication and social interaction. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">People with AS struggle to understand the unwritten social
rules that help most of us act and speak appropriately. They find it
hard to decipher figures of speech, facial expressions and tones of
voice, and are frequently (but unintentionally) concise and literal to
the point of rudeness. Since the 'real world' becomes an extremely
stressful place, many retreat into their own safe haven of routine,
solitude and obsessive special interests.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Today AS is likely to be recognised in a child, and his
school will be told he needs special support. Twenty years ago, however,
he'd be the 'geek' who didn't quite fit but was left to get on with it.
And that struggle has continued into adulthood. For someone with AS,
the minefield of relationships, marriage and parenthood can be the
hardest part of all.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Louise Corbett manages the National Autistic Society (NAS)
helpline and confirms that more calls are coming from couples who have
recognised Asperger's in their relationship.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"> 'When I started six years ago most of our calls were made
by parents about their children,' she says. 'Now we get more
adult-related calls than child-related.' As Asperger's seems to run in
families, many women identify it in their husbands - or their husbands
see it in themselves - only after their child has been diagnosed and
they've read the literature. 'They call in absolute shock,' says
Corbett. 'Often they've been experiencing difficulties for years without
knowing why. There's no way around it: Asperger's can be very hard to
live with.'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Maxine Aston, the author of Aspergers in Love (Jessica
Kingsley, £14.95), is one of the few counsellors to work specifically
with couples affected by AS. Her surveys and questionnaires from the
past decade suggest that 75 per cent of such couples seek counselling.
'I'd almost say AS was a "relationship disorder",' she says. 'It affects
communication, interaction and the ability to empathise. Any research
will tell you they're the key ingredients for a successful
relationship.' In Aston's experience - and desperate clients come from
as far as Japan, New Zealand and Canada - Asperger's relationships
follow a common pattern. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">'A huge number seem to meet on dating websites,' she says.
'For someone with AS it's the perfect route.' Where once many people
with AS were effectively barred from the dating game, the internet now
provides the perfect point of entry (it has, as Aston puts it 'opened
the floodgates'). </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Bypassing the enormous challenges involved in chatting
someone up, it allows you to make a checklist and then select according
to criteria. Although many people with AS are unemployed or
underemployed, others are at the top of their profession. 'On paper they
look amazing,' says Aston. 'Doctors, IT consultants, engineers,
solicitors… They could be in their forties but have never married - so
no baggage. The internet also allows them to build a rapport by email,'
she continues. 'When they meet, women are often very charmed by this
polite, gentle man with an old-fashioned appeal.'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">This was certainly true for Sarah who found Keith completely
different to anyone she had known. 'At the end of our first date he
kissed my cheek and shook my hand,' she recalls. 'So different to all
the guys that ply you with rioja. Keith seemed so untouched by needless
fashion and peer pressure - I thought he was a Buddhist!'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">However, in Aston's experience, this appeal can wear thin.
'Women fall in love and want to nurture this unworldly, slightly
vulnerable man and help him grow up. As the relationship settles,
though, they often find their own emotional needs aren't being met.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">'Someone with AS probably has good intentions,' she goes on.
'He wants to make her happy but can't read the signs. At the beginning
of the courtship the woman could become his obsession and she has
probably never experienced such attention. Five years down the line,
when he has focussed on something else and returns from work, yet again
forgets to say hello and goes to the garage to take the car apart,
things are very different. Women often say to me, "He's either got
Asperger's or he's the most selfish man on the planet."'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Another problem can be the isolation. People with AS
frequently have sensory difficulties - loud noise, strong smells and
bright lights can be almost painful. This, coupled with difficulties in
social interaction, means that parties, family gatherings and big
birthdays drop off the radar.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">'I once saw a couple in their eighties who, after 50 years
of marriage, realised what the problem was,' says Aston. 'They decided
to stay together, but she bought a cottage up the road and he visited
for meals. She could have friends and family over and he had space for
his routine and interests. Quite a few couples decide to stay together
but live apart.'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Penny Jones, an accountant from Oxford, tried this,
following the diagnosis of her husband Chris, an IT consultant, six
years ago. Chris learnt about AS through a television programme while he
was off work with stress. He subsequently saw a specialist who placed
him high on the Asperger's scale.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">'We got together in 1995 and he'd always been very
unusual,' says Penny. 'There are lots of positives about Asperger's. I
like its straightforwardness. There's no game-playing. Chris was the
first person I had met who just let people be themselves. Most men want
you to be a bit more like this or more like that. Chris just accepts
you. He's also very intelligent - he has an IQ of over 150 - and very
funny.'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">However, AS was hard to live with. 'He did lock himself in
the room with the computer,' she says. 'We were under the same roof but
not together. Rarely did we share the preparation and clearing away of
meals because Chris couldn't stand the noise of cutlery and crockery.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">When their children were born - Luke is nine and Beth is
seven - Chris found the chaos of family life even more difficult. 'It
wasn't predictable and calm enough. Family holidays we gave up on,' she
says. 'He would try his best but by day three, without his familiarity,
his routine, his computer, you could see all his systems shutting down.
Then he'd spend each day with a large crate of beer in front of the
television while I took the children out. Chris drank vast quantities to
cope with Asperger's - that was another problem.'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">When Chris moved out, the plan had been that they would
remain a couple, but in the end this didn't work out. 'He drank far less
and was clearly so much happier in his own space,' says Penny. 'He
would spend a few hours with us, then go home to his bolthole and not
talk to anyone for 24 hours. In the end, I couldn't cope with the
massive periods of time alone.' The couple divorced last year.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Conventional counselling isn't recommended for AS couples -
in fact, it frequently makes things worse. 'Counselling works on
empathy,' says Maxine Aston, 'helping you understand each other's point
of view. That won't happen if you have AS. You might be told to spend
ten minutes a day talking about your emotions. Someone with AS can't do
it, feels pressurised and disappointment sets in.' For this reason, the
NAS has a (small) database of couples counsellors who specialise in AS -
of which Aston is one.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">There are many strategies that can help. One is to write
things down instead of saying them. Another is for the non-Asperger's
half in the relationship to spell things out in no uncertain terms. ('I
am feeling sad and would like a hug'), rather than hope their partner
will read the cues. However, the key is understanding the Asperger's
label, accepting its limitations and adjusting expectations. 'It's
almost like blaming it on the Asperger's,' says Aston.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">The diagnosis that saved Keith and Sarah almost happened by
accident - Sarah got a job working with ASpire, a charity that supports
adults with Asperger's. The more she learnt, the more she recognised in
Keith. 'At first, I thought it was just a mad, crazy Sarah idea,' he
says. 'But as I researched it, the similarities became too great to
ignore.'</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Learning about AS, he says, was 'life-changing'. Suddenly
what Sarah describes as his 'isolated, biscuit-eating life' made sense.
Keith had been bullied at school and gone through university with no
friends at all. He'd had only two jobs in his life doing the same thing
and two very short-lived relationships (the first at 31). 'From an early
age you try to join the world, but gradually, with rejection and not
being able to understand social situations, it becomes too taxing,' he
says. 'I wanted relationships with women but didn't have the confidence,
the tools or the means.' </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">In Sarah, Keith has found the perfect partner. She works
with AS adults for a living and now understands his thought processes
and almost speaks his language. She can foresee stressful situations,
accepts his frequent need to be alone and rarely asks for more than
Keith can give. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">In return, she has a charming, quirky, logical and attentive
partner who is still touchingly old-fashioned - he always opens doors
for her, carries her shopping and whips off her glasses to clean them if
he sees they are dirty. Most importantly, the two clearly love each
other's company, share the same sense of humour - and have co-written a
book, Asperger Syndrome - A Love Story (Jessica Kingsley, £12.99), to
show that happy endings are possible, even if they're not quite the
endings originally envisaged.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">There are no plans of marriage or moving in, and Keith
certainly doesn't think he could cope with children. But they seem like
soul mates. 'With Sarah, I get acceptance and understanding,' says
Keith. 'I don't necessarily want to join the rest of the world - but I'd
like someone to join me in mine. I'd like to know at the end of my life
that there's been one person who got me. That's what Sarah does for
me.' </span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">You can order the book by clicking the link</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=mannaz-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=1843105403&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/3354140/Love-and-Aspergers-syndrome.html&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;</iframe></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=mannaz-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=1843105403&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;">&nbsp;</iframe></span><br />
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/3354140/Love-and-Aspergers-syndrome.html
</div>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-29840026586205084452012-01-15T08:28:00.000-08:002012-01-15T08:28:17.672-08:00Spatial Strengths<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="Spatial Strengths" height="102" src="http://www.visualspatial.org/images/headers/spatialstrengths.png" width="400" />
</div>
<h1>
Vivid Imagination</h1>
Picture thinkers have great—often wild—imaginations. They form
strong, vibrant mental pictures that are often on the move. They make
their own mind-movies as they read and listen. These mental movies can
include voice-overs, close-ups, split screens, or panoramic shots.
Anything they’ve ever seen on a screen they can imagine and use,
including a zoom-in to enlarge something, an overlay of two or more
images, transformation of one thing into another, rotation to see the
other side of something, cartoon animation, or a graphic they can enter
like a video game. They can organize information visually—laid out on an
inner computer screen—and then file it away mentally to pull out later
(handy for tests). Some picture thinkers may not know they have this
mental computer capacity—so hampered are they by trying to listen and
take notes at the same time (and then outline!). Picture Thinker’s
spatial imaginations can run away with them in great leaps from one
fantasy to another, but when under control, there is almost nothing they
cannot bring into play in the arena of their mind’s eye.<br />
<h2>
Visualization</h2>
Visualization takes imagination a step further. Picture thinkers are
wonderful visualizers, although some need to be taught this skill to
jumpstart it. Visualization is the most versatile tool in the picture
thinker tool kit. It can be applied in every subject area in school and
in life in general. Tapping into what you have visualized provides
immediate rich experience that can be examined whenever you want to . It
is the basis of a kind of mental organization and storage of
information, ideas, and their interconnections that is like a computer
and imitates a computer’s worldwide web potential.
<br />
There are two parts to visualization. There is the “cognitive scratch
pad” that is like your computer screen where you input what you see.
Then there is the long term storage of all the visuals that is like your
computer memory. Visualization is so important that we devote an entire
section of this book to the wonders of this tool. There we include
sample classroom activities that build visualization skills, and we show
how to use visualization in a wide variety of school situations. Here,
we are just want to emphasize how important it is as a visual-spatial
tool. Visualizing will work for all kinds of thinkers, but is home
territory for picture thinkers. <br />
One point. Good visual memory is needed for successful visualization.
There are some picture thinkers, usually impatient ones, who never look
at anything long enough to make an image. They just play with
speed-of-light perceptions. These picture thinkers may need help to look
“just a few nano-seconds longer” to form a real memory. Once this trick
is learned, they will quickly pick up their innate visualization skills
and then will be off and running.<br />
<h1>
Seeing the Big Picture</h1>
Perhaps this goes back to hunter-gatherer days. Upon encountering
something new—a new subject, a new experience, some unknown
object—picture thinkers want to know right away what that thing is.
They want to get to the heart of it, what it IS. Once that need is
satisfied, they can sit back and learn about the details, all the bits
and pieces that part of the picture. To understand anything, they need
to get its big picture first, which is why they ask so many questions.
They are trying to hook this new thing to something that they already
know. This questioning can be a frustrating time for them. They can feel
stupid, impatient, upset, tense, as they “circle around something new,”
trying out various viewpoints. Because they are active learners, not
wanting to have ready-made explanations handed to them, they are hard to
teach. They insist in understanding it in their own way.<br />
It is hard for picture thinkers to experience significance if only
parts are available to them without the essential whole. Remembering a
detail and then attaching another detail doesn’t work for them. They
must size the whole situation up and sort out what feels important to
understand for themselves what something is about, and to make the right
connections. Often they suddenly “see” the whole thing all at once,
with everything in its place. Aha!<br />
<h3>
3-D Mastery</h3>
Although they may be called picture thinkers, visual-spatial learners
are oriented to the dimension of space and see in 3D. Their world is
far more complex than the flat worksheets or textbook pages in a
classroom. Spatials often “see” ideas in a 3-dimensions like computer
animation with depth. They look through both real and imagined space to
see the whole of something and to check out the relationships and
connections. This creates “inner territory” to explore. Picture thinkers
can quickly scan all that their senses have taken in—seeing, hearing,
smelling, tasting, feeling, sensing—and mentally connect the dots that
spell out what is going on, or what the essence of something is We all
do this all the time to some extent. It is called “perception.” But
picture thinkers do it in spades. They take in 360 degrees of the space
that surrounds them, making their input enormously richer and at the
same time, more challenging to analyze. Having to pay attention a small
set of details (like periods at the end of sentences) can feel like
being pulled back from their normal range of awareness to a trivial
pursuit. That tiny part better be important, or they discard it to
return to scanning for significance. <br />
Sometimes seen as having poor organization skills, picture thinkers
have their order. It centers around significance, an emotional response.
Rather than outline as step-by-step learners do, where main ideas stand
out like trees on the plain, spatials respond to feelings about
importance. If something strikes them as worthwhile, it becomes part of
their web of essentials, a mental map of things worth paying attention
to. Instead of outlines—so comfortable to the stepwise —a picture
thinker’s scheme of reality is more like a 3D star map. The various
stars and constellations stand out in different degrees of brightness,
all shining against the dark space surrounding them and all
interconnected in some way. Those connections are based on feelings and
sensed importance. <br />
At times, picture thinkers not only see but feel their way through
concepts. They have kinesthetic input like those cyberspace reality
games that evoke muscle response to what players “experience.” These
spatials grope through space as if they could touch ideas and
possibilities to find what is there. Einstein, who could visualize
thought experiments, spoke of using “a kind of imagistic, kinesthetic
shorthand” in his thinking process. (He was groping for words, typical
of spatials when trying to explain themselves.) It seems he was trying
to express the visual-spatial experience of thinking, seeing in
imagination, and feeling muscular response to ideas. It is interesting
that he recognized this as like “shorthand”—very minute, partial
symbols, and tiny, nuanced muscle responses that could mark sensed
relationships and also hold them in memory for future use. Spatials’
shorthand is different!<br />
Certainly not all picture thinkers are Einsteins, but this
explorative mode of operation is true for many of them, especially the
deep thinkers and long processors. (They are covering a lot of mental
territory and this takes time.) Thinking in 3-D mode means that all
sorts of connections can be made in any dimension. Quantum physics and
string theory would make us aware of more than 3 dimensions Spatials may
lead the way to extraordinary feats of inner space exploration, making
its complexity more approachable to us all, but that is another story.<br />
<h1>
Seeing Relationships</h1>
When spatials get the big picture, they see the whole of something
and how the parts fit together. The relationship of the parts to each
other and to the whole comes naturally to them. That is the way things
are. They often think about putting something together with something
else, like a cook trying out a new recipe. They wonder what that new
relationship might like—how each would affect the other. Rather than
sort things into categories, their most natural mode of thinking is to
consider various new combinations of parts and what the flavor of the
new relationship would be. Their ability to invent and explore goes
along with this curiosity about how something might affect something
else. For them, everything is interconnected and, of course, related.
They are very aware of personal relationships among people as well as
how things relate to one another. While they can become very good at
sorting into categories, this skill is secondary to that of recognizing
the balance of relationships.
<br />
<h2>
Pattern Recognition</h2>
Scanning and the search for significance combine to produce a talent
for pattern recognition in picture thinkers. It is part of their
awareness of connections. If a pattern (recurring connection) exists,
they will see it. This means, for one thing, that they will learn math
facts better when made aware of the interconnecting number patterns than
through rote memorization. Playing games that use number patterns works
far better for these emotionally attuned learners than drilling, since
their memories don’t hold isolated, disconnected facts. Picture thinkers
immediately recognize patterns that are pointed out to them but really
excel in finding their own, often seeing connections among things that
are overlooked by others. Once pointed out, the connections make sense
to others who wonder why they never noticed that.
<br />
<h3>
Out-of-Box Thinking</h3>
An important aspect in understanding picture thinkers is that they
need to think in their own way. They are uncomfortable with following
some one else’s line of thought, partly because such linear thinking is
not the way their minds operate. Sometimes they really just can’t follow
along step by step. They can take in each step but without that Big
Picture, the steps fade away. They don’t remember details well unless
those details vibrate with significance, are tagged with their own
feelings, or are part of as sudden gestalt. Picture thinkers blaze their
own thought trail. Most need processing time to put together their own
Big Picture. There seem to be no real steps in their thinking. Often
they have a sudden insight that “things go together like this!” Either
slowly or in a flash, a whole concept emerges, which may be brilliant or
flawed. Picture thinkers need help in proving (or discarding) their new
ideas. Trying them out is a good strategy in teaching them. If their
idea actually works in a variety of situations, then it has validity. If
not, it’s back to the spatial drawing board.
<br />
The tendency to originality can make teachers uncomfortable. Not only
does it throw off lesson plans, but there is often an uncomfortable
feeling that they are not doing their job, not teaching them. Shouldn’t
they be the ones to tell spatials what they should know? They aren’t
sure spatials have “got it right.” It is helpful to give spatials some
processing time and to let them work in their own way, while insisting
that they apply and test their ideas.
<br />
<h1>
Radar Scanning</h1>
It is as if picture thinkers have radar out always scanning the
environment, taking in every little thing. They are alert for changes,
shifts in energy, or tones of voice in everything around them. They
easily notice if some little thing they saw yesterday is missing today.
They scan for signals that something is going to happen as well as for
the general feel of things. They absorb what’s going on, intensely
immersed in that experience. At school, if the lesson of the day can
enter into their experience, these emotional picture thinkers will take
it in and remember it forever. Otherwise, scanning makes picture
thinkers vulnerable to distractibility. Their attention may be captured
by all sorts of things. They can be equally aware of a bug bite on their
arm, the way the lights are humming, someone’s simmering anger three
rows away, or the relationship of a radius to its circumference.
<br />
<h2>
Emotional Intensity</h2>
Picture thinkers live emotionally. They do not shut their feelings
away to examine later. Instead, their emotions enliven, interpret, and
underscore their experience all the time. Their emotions affect the way
they think. Moods intertwine with learning, which means that their
thinking can take off when they feel upbeat and confident. On the other
hand, if they are upset, confused, angry, or depressed, picture thinkers
may have difficulty learning much at all. It is as if their mind shuts
down then, not able to function until their feelings are more positive.
This may be why they try to liven things up with humor, games, tricks,
and drama. Positive vibes just help them to learn better. It follows
that picture thinkers will have days when they learn poorly, just as
they will have days of remarkable accomplishment. Those around need to
learn that variability is the name of the game..
<br />
<h3>
Gamesmanship</h3>
Picture thinkers want life to be upbeat. They love humor, fun,
excitement, and challenge. They are affronted by dullness and drudgery
and will often sabotage a dreary atmosphere, creating excitement of some
sort. They were usually happy, cheerful, fun-loving bon vivants as
toddlers. Just as then, t hey have boundless curiosity, are natural
explorers, and delight in discovery and excitement. Positive feelings
are very important to them, partly because when they are down, they can
be so very down. Their desire to liven things up—often by playing the
clown or stirring up arguments—can be very annoying to a teacher with a
lesson to impart, but they are (mostly) not behaving this way to be
obstructive. They want life to be lively. Situations where games and
play are used to aid comprehension or solve problems draw out the best
in them. Teachers do well to make the most of picture thinkers’
creativity, out-of-the-box thinking, and solutions that seem to come
from nowhere. They add excitement and interest to learning.
<br />
In a classroom, hands-on participatory lessons work well for them—and
for step-by-step learners too. Simulation games, board games created by
students as part of a learning project, hands-on immersion learning
situations, contests, construction and designing, art, music, poetry,
skits, and dramatic enactment—all meet a deep need of picture thinkers
to work in a rich, colorful, and stimulating environment. They remember
their own experience best, so experiential lessons make their points
memorably. Enlivening activities such as these also spice up things for
step-by-step learners, who enjoy but won’t demand this kind of teaching.
It is just these lively, upbeat, dramatic personality qualities that
draw others to picture thinkers like a magnet. Life is more zestful
around them, and classrooms are more exciting.<br />
<br />
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Source: http://www.visualspatial.org/spatialstrengths.php by </span></div>
<h1 style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Linda Kreger Silverman, Ph.D.</span></h1>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-48941003820789816572011-12-14T00:52:00.001-08:002011-12-14T00:52:57.846-08:00A different way of approacing HSPDr Cardoso has a different way of dealing with being a HSP.
<iframe width="540" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/kj6tocqyUas" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-79419600419192635622011-10-26T05:40:00.000-07:002011-10-26T05:41:07.873-07:00White energy<object width="540" height="260"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/N_NLFFco6k0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/N_NLFFco6k0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="540" height="260"></embed></object>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-25789123962444679152011-10-26T03:04:00.001-07:002011-10-26T03:04:02.721-07:00Interview with Laurie Ferris<iframe width="480" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/K2fqPxFpgv4" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-27978194542205195272011-10-19T09:49:00.000-07:002011-10-19T09:49:28.262-07:00Mandy Moore on depression and sensitivity<h2 style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://talentdevelop.com/teenyatalent/mandy-moore-on-depression-and-sensitivity/" rel="bookmark" title="Permanent Link:
Mandy Moore on depression and sensitivity"><br /></a></span></h2>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><img align="right" alt="Mandy Moore" height="320" hspace="15" src="http://talentdevelop.com/images/MMoore6.jpg" vspace="13" width="222" />Along
with her success as an actor and musician, Mandy Moore has experienced
emotional challenges including depression and sensitivity.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><blockquote style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“A few months ago I felt really low, really sad.
Depressed for no reason. I’m a very positive person, and I’ve always
been glass-half-full. So it was like someone flipped a switch in me.”</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">She says her recent split with Zach Braff “added to what I was going
through, but it’s not the complete reason. It definitely doesn’t help if
you’re already in that place.”</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Moore, at 22, also spoke of some of the existential issues she is exploring:</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><blockquote style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“I’ve been going through this really crazy time in my
life – it’s what I imagine people fresh out of college go through. I’m
asking myself life-altering questions, like Who am I? Where do I fit in
this world? What am I doing, what do I want to do? Am I living to my
full potential?” [Jane magazine, Feb 2007]</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Gifted and talented people are more likely to ask those kinds of
questions, and may experience feelings discussed in the article <a href="http://www.giftedbooks.com/authorarticles.asp?id=7" target="_blank">Existential Depression in Gifted Individuals</a>,
by James T. Webb, Ph.D. As he notes, “existential depression arises
when an individual confronts certain basic issues of existence.. [such
as] death, freedom, isolation and meaninglessness.”</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Mandy Moore has commented in earlier interviews about her sensitivity:</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><blockquote style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“I’ll cry at anything, even a tissue commercial. I’m
overly sensitive. It’s so easy to hurt my feelings.”
[allstarz.org/~mandymoore/]</span></blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“I’m extremely-extremely sensitive. I can cry at the drop of a hat.
I’m such a girl when it comes to that. Anything upsets me. I cry all the
time. I cry when I’m happy too.” [absolutely.net]</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">“I’m really overly sensitive. I get my feelings hurt very easily, and
sometimes I just cry for no reason, and I hate that.” [malaya.com March
21 2004]</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Many people equate high sensitivity with exceptional ability. But in her article <a href="http://www.hsperson.com/pages/3Nov04.htm" target="_blank">The Highly Sensitive Child (and Adults, Too): Is Sensitivity the Same as Being Gifted?</a>,
Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D. writes that in her experience, “not all highly
sensitive people are gifted. That is, at least as adults, many HSPs are
not expressing some talent in a way that others would recognize as
outstanding.” She also notes high sensitivity occurs in 15 to 20 percent
of the population, but a smaller percentage are considered gifted.</span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">But sensitivity is a trait shared by many highly talented, if not
gifted, actors and other artists like Moore, and may be part of what
makes them so creative.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Bron: http://talentdevelop.com </span></div>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-23714631790821423262011-10-18T04:46:00.000-07:002011-10-18T04:46:36.209-07:00Gifted People and their Problems<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.limkokwing.net/graphics/founder/blog/entry/what_does_it_take_to_be_creative.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="http://www.limkokwing.net/graphics/founder/blog/entry/what_does_it_take_to_be_creative.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span>
</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">By
Francis Heylighen, PhD [page 1/2]<br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Highly
gifted people have a number of personality traits that set them apart,
and that are not obviously connected to the traits of intelligence, IQ,
or creativity that are most often used to define the category. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Many
of these traits have to do with their particularly intense
feelings and emotions, others with their sometimes awkward social
interactions. <br />
<br />
These traits make that these people are typically misunderstood
and underestimated by peers, by society, and usually even by
themselves. As such, most of their gifts are actually underutilized,
and they rarely fulfill their full creative potential. <br />
<br />
This is particularly true for gifted women, as they don’t fit the
stereotypes that society has either of women or of gifted people
(typically seen as men). <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The
present document is a quick attempt at
sketching the overall picture, summarizing the essential
characteristics and the kind of problems they tend to give rise to. <br />
<br />
While this is mostly a collection of existing material, I intend to
prepare a paper offering a novel interpretation of these data on the
basis of a cybernetic/cognitive/evolutionary thinking. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Summary of traits </span><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The
following is a digest of the traits that are most
often listed as characterizing “gifted” or “creative” individuals. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The
number of “*” signs indicates how often this trait (or a very similar
one) appeared in one of the lists that I found on the web. <br />
<br />
I have ordered the traits in different categories, in order to
emphasize that these traits extend much further than just intelligence
and knowledge (cognition). <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">As a
comparison, I have also included the
traits (indicated by a “•”) from Maslow’s description of what he calls
the “self-actualizing personality”. <br />
<br />
There is obviously a strong overlap in both lists, although Maslow
seems to virtually ignore the cognitive traits, while emphasizing the
motivational and emotional ones, in accord with his motivation-based
theory. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The
fact that in spite of this very different basis to establish two
personality types, the overlap is so obvious, confirms my own
reinterpretation of Maslow’s theory in which I argue that
self-actualization requires not only need satisfaction, but cognitive
competence, i.e. knowledge and intelligence. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">(Heylighen
F. (1992): "A
Cognitive-Systemic Reconstruction of Maslow's Theory of Self-
Actualization", Behavioral Science 37, p. 39-58.) <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Cognition <br />
<br />
</span>**********• original, unusual ideas, creativity, connects
seemingly unrelated ideas<br />
******* superior abilities to reason, generalize or problem solve, high
intelligence <br />
****** vivid and rich imagination <br />
****** extensive vocabulary, verbal ability, fascinated by words<br />
***** learns new things rapidly<br />
***** excellent long term memory<br />
**** grasps mathematical/scientific concepts readily, advanced
comprehension, insightful<br />
**** avid reader. <br />
*** complex and deep thoughts, abstract thinker<br />
** runs mind on multiple tracks at the same time, fast thinker <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Perception/emotion</span> <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">*******
highly sensitive <br />
*******• excellent/unusual sense of humour<br />
******• very perceptive, good sense of observation<br />
*****• passionate, intense feelings<br />
***• sensitive to small changes in environment <br />
*** introverted <br />
**• aware of things that others are not, perceive world differently <br />
**• tolerance for ambiguity & complexity <br />
** can see many sides, considers problems from a number of viewpoints<br />
*• childlike sense of wonder<br />
• openness to experience <br />
• emotional stability, serenity <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Motivation/values </span><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">**********
perfectionistic, sets high standards for self and others<br />
*********• very curious, desire to know <br />
********• very independent, autonomous, less motivated by rewards and
praise<br />
*******• seeker of ultimate truths, looks for patterns, meaning in life
******* enjoys challenge, penchant for risk-taking<br />
******• outrage at injustice or moral breaches, good sense of justice <br />
****• wide range of interests, overwhelmed by many interests and
abilities<br />
****• strong moral convictions, integrity, honesty<br />
****• high drive <br />
**• visionary, realizes visions, sense of destiny or mission <br />
** loves ideas and ardent discussion<br />
• sincerity <br />
• acceptance of self and others <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Activity</span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">*******
great deal of energy<br />
******• long attention span, sustains concentration on topics of
interest, persistent <br />
**** cannot stop thinking, work myself to exhaustion <br />
***• needs periods of contemplation, solitude <br />
• spontaneity <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Social relations </span><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">*********•
questions rules or authority, asks embarrassing questions,
non-conforming <br />
*******• feels different, out of step with others, sense of alienation
and loneliness<br />
*****• very compassionate<br />
****• empathy: feels along with others, helps them understand
themselves <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Quotes from other sources </span><br />
<br />
This is a collection of bits and snippets that I collected from the
Web. Emphasis in the longer quotes is mine. Search quote in Google to
find its source. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Characteristics of Creative
Genius </span><br style="font-weight: bold;" />
<br />
I have always had an insatiable curiosity. <br />
I am able to run my mind on multiple tracks at the same time. <br />
I learn rapidly and retain / apply what I learn. <br />
I tend to be very independent. <br />
I tend to be less motivated than others are by rewards, bonuses, and
praise. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">At
times I have asked embarrassing questions or rudely pointed out
truths at the wrong time. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">My
preference for the complex can fool me into underestimating the
simple answer. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I like
to refine and improve others' innovations. <br />
I feel comfortable with a wide range of emotions. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I can
see many sides to nearly any issue. <br />
Honesty, integrity, and ethics are important to me.<br />
I can help others understand themselves better. <br />
I am a seeker and champion of ultimate truths. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">My
nervous system is easily aroused, and I am able to discern the
slightest changes in my environment (aromas, shifts in light, etc.) or
detect irritants (e.g. scratchy sweater label). <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I can
feel along with and for others. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I set
high standards for myself and for others and am my own worst
critic. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I tend
to look for consistency and security in systems, rules, and
orderliness. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I am
often considered a "driven" person. I have maintained my childlike
sense of wonder. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I am
intent on searching out universal truths. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I am
deeply disturbed by inequity, exploitation, corruption, and
needless human suffering. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I can
and do work myself to exhaustion. <br />
Some people think I'm too serious. <br />
I have always been interested in social reform. <br />
I value and will defend diversity. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I have
a strong need to "make a difference." <br />
I have a penchant for risk-taking. <br />
I can and do ignore my own needs for the sake of others. <br />
<br />
© LIBERATING EVERYDAY GENIUS TM by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen, Psy.D. -
retitled <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0345434927/talentdevelopmen">The
Gifted Adult</a>: A Revolutionary Guide for Liberating Everyday
Genius<br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Characteristics of Gifted Adults
</span><br />
<br />
Perfectionistic and sets high standards for self and others. <br />
Has strong moral convictions. <br />
Is highly sensitive, perceptive or insightful. Fascinated by words or
an avid reader. <br />
Feels out-of-sync with others. <br />
Is very curious. <br />
Has an unusual sense of humour. <br />
A good problem solver. <br />
Has a vivid and rich imagination. <br />
Questions rules or authority. <br />
Has unusual ideas or connects seemingly unrelated ideas. <br />
Thrives on challenge. <br />
Learns new things rapidly. <br />
Has a good long-term memory. <br />
Feels overwhelmed by many interests and abilities. <br />
Is very compassionate. <br />
Feels outrage at moral breaches that the rest of the world seems to
take for granted. <br />
Has passionate, intense feelings. <br />
Has a great deal of energy. <br />
Can't switch off thinking. <br />
Feels driven by creativity. <br />
Loves ideas and ardent discussion. Needs periods of contemplation. <br />
Searches for ???? in their life. <br />
Feels a sense of alienation and loneliness. <br />
Is very perceptive. <br />
Feels out of step with others. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">©
The Gifted Resource Center and Lesley Sword, Ph.D.<br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">[See
titles by Lesley Sword on <a href="http://talentdevelop.com/artcls-g.html" target="_blank">Articles: gifted</a>.] <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Normal Behavior for Gifted
People </span><br />
<br />
It is NORMAL for Gifted People to: <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Have
complex and deep thoughts. Feel intense emotions. <br />
Ask lots of questions. Be highly sensitive. <br />
Set high standards for themselves. Have strong moral convictions. <br />
Feel different & out-of-sync. Be curious. Have a vivid
imagination. Question rules or authority. Thrive on challenge. <br />
Feel passion and compassion. Have a great deal of energy. <br />
Have an unusual sense of humour. Feel outrage at injustice. <br />
Look for meaning in life. Feel sad about the state of the world. <br />
Feel a spiritual connection to life. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">©
The Gifted Resource Center and Lesley Sword, Ph.D <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Most Prevalent Characteristics
of Giftedness </span><br style="font-weight: bold;" />
<br />
99.4% learn rapidly <br />
99.4% have extensive vocabulary <br />
99.3% have excellent memory <br />
99.3% reason well <br />
97.9% are curious <br />
96.1% are mature for their age at times <br />
95.9% have an excellent sense of humor <br />
93.8% have a keen sense of observation <br />
93.5% have compassion for others <br />
93.4% have a vivid imagination <br />
93.4% have a long attention span <br />
92.9% have ability with numbers <br />
90.3% are concerned with justice and fairness <br />
89.4% have facility with puzzles and legos <br />
88.4% have a high energy level <br />
88.3% are perfectionistic <br />
85.9% are perseverant in their areas of interest <br />
84.1% question authority <br />
80.3% are avid readers Descriptions <br />
90% were described by their parents as "sensitive." <br />
83% like to concentrate on one activity at a time. <br />
79% report high energy or activity levels. <br />
44% are sensitive to clothing tags and other tactile sensations. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">A Glossary of Gifted Education </span><br />
<br />
Giftedness and education from the perspective of sociologic social
psychology by Steven M. Nordby © 1997-2002 <br />
<br />
Levels of giftedness According to IQ measurements, the following labels
are generally accepted: <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">*
Bright - 115 and above <br />
* Gifted - 130 and above <br />
* Highly gifted - 145 and above <br />
* Exceptionally gifted -160 and above <br />
* Profoundly gifted - 175 and above<br />
<br />
Because of measurement error and ceiling effect, the exceptionally and
profoundly gifted labels are often used interchangably. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Characteristics of the gifted </span><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The
following characteristics are common but not universal: <br />
<br />
* Shows superior abilities to reason, generalize or problem solve. <br />
* Shows persistent intellectual curiosity. <br />
* Has a wide range of interests; develops one or more interests to
considerable depth. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">*
Produces superior written work or has a large vocabulary. <br />
* Reads avidly. <br />
* Learns quickly and retains what is learned. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">* <span style="font-style: italic;">Grasps mathematical or scientific
concepts readily.</span> <br />
* Shows creative ability or imaginative expression in the arts. <br />
* Sustains concentration for lengthy periods on topics or activities of
interest. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">* Sets
high standards for self. <br />
* Shows initiative, originality, or flexibility in thinking; considers
problems from a number of viewpoints. <br />
* Observes keenly and is responsive to new ideas. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">*
Shows social poise or an ability to communicate with adults in a
mature way. <br />
* Enjoys intellectual challenge; shows an alert and subtle sense of
humor.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-style: italic;">These characteristics can lead
to conflicts</span> in the regular classroom, as the gifted child may: <br />
<br />
* Get bored with routine tasks. <br />
* Resist changing away from interesting topics or activities. <br />
* Be overly critical of self and others, impatient with failure,
perfectionistic. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">*
Disagree vocally with others, argue with teachers. <br />
* Make jokes or puns at times adults consider inappropriate. <br />
* Be so emotionally sensitive and empathetic that adults consider it
over-reaction, may get angry, or cry when things go wrong or seem
unfair. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">*
Ignore details, turn in messy work. <br />
* Reject authority, be non-conforming, stubborn. <br />
* Dominate or withdraw in cooperative learning situations. <br />
* Be highly sensitive to environmental stimuli such as lights or
noises. <br />
<br />
These reactions of gifted students to the regular education environment
are normal only within the context of an understanding of the gifted.
Without that understanding, they may be used to label the student as
ADD/ADHD or SED. See overexcitabilities. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Overexcitabilities - </span><br />
<br />
A term originated by Kazimierz Dabrowski to describe excessive response
to stimuli in five psychic domains (psychomotor, sensual, intellectual,
imaginational, and emotional) which may occur singly or in combination.
<br />
<br />
Overexcitabilities are often used to describe certain characteristics
of the gifted. “It is often recognized that gifted and talented people
are energetic, enthusiastic, intensely absorbed in their pursuits,
endowed with vivid imagination, sensuality, moral sensitivity and
emotional vulnerability. . . . [They are] experiencing in a higher
key.” - Michael Piechowski. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Extreme
overexcitabilities or a strong
imbalance between them may reduce the individual's ability to function
in society. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">[See </span><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://talentdevelop.com/Dabrowski.html" target="_blank">Dabrowski / advanced
development</a></span><span style="font-size: small;">]</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-weight: bold;">The Intellectual and
Psychosocial Nature of Extreme Giftedness </span><br />
<br />
Philip M. Powell & Tony Haden Roeper Review , Vol. 6 No. 3, p.
131-133, February 1984. <br />
<br />
The highly gifted are rare in the population. Using IQ scores as a
gross index to assess this rarity, those with IQ's of 150 and above
occur about 5-7 times out of 10,000 persons. <br />
<br />
The literature about them is also rare. Nevertheless, the attempt to
understand the highly gifted is valuable because it can help us to help
them achieve their potential. <br />
<br />
It has been reported that the higher the level of giftedness, the
greater the chance of psychological and social adjustment difficulties.
[...] <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Terman
and Oden, (1959) found that the four traits which distinguished the
gifted from the control group of normal or average children most
clearly were: <br />
* General intelligence * Desire to know <br />
* Originality * Common sense <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Torrance
(1965) has argued that the gifted are independent thinkers. Dunn and
Price (1980) provided evidence to show that those of average ability
have a greater need for external structure than the intellectually
gifted. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">One
important difference, then, between average persons and
their gifted counterparts is in the need of externally imposed
structure. <br />
<br />
Gifted persons are more likely to make sense out of their intellectual
experiences than the average person. Another important difference is in
the desire to know complex ideas. Average persons have less desire to
know ideas for their own sake. <br />
<br />
They substitute participation in social affairs for idea dominance or
the preference for thinking and generating ideas argued as
characteristic of the mentally gifted (Powell, 1982). <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The
possession of the desire to know means that gifted individuals have a <span style="font-style: italic;">need to search for the inherent pattern,
logic or meaning</span> in a set of data information, while average
people prefer to have the pattern, logic, or meaning already generated
and explained. [...] <br />
<br />
The highly gifted, on the other hand, have the greatest capacity to
create structure and organize data and the greatest need to know. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">At
this extreme, <span style="font-style: italic;">such people can create
whole disciplines (De Candolle) and/or frameworks for comprehending the
universe (Newton and Einstein)</span>. [...] <br />
<br />
Another problem for the highly gifted is they grow up with and are
often socialized by significant others who do not understand them well
enough to guide their ideas and actions with valid feedback. <br />
<br />
This was true of Leopold and Loeb, who were given free rein to go and
do as they pleased at an early age. <span style="font-style: italic;">Parents
can also vacillate between being proud of and being scared of the
achievements of the highly gifted child.</span><br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Parental
pride in achievement can quickly turn to a fear of social stigma which
can cause parents to give their gifted child inconsistent feedback.
Hence, highly gifted children are never quite sure if it is good or bad
to be very bright. <br />
<br />
Thus, their concept of the value of being very gifted develops slowly
and ambivalently. <span style="font-style: italic;">Peers</span>,
especially children, <span style="font-style: italic;">are often
confused by the highly gifted person</span> because it is difficult to
identify with their superior cognitive abilities. <br />
<br />
They may downplay the degree of superiority of the highly gifted by
invalidating feedback. If this feedback is internalized, a
self-conception may be constructed based on underrating the self. <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Clark
(1979) reported on a young female student who had spent 18 years
believing she was not intelligent because she asked more questions than
the others in class. <br />
<br />
Later, in Clark's university class, when the characteristics of the
gifted were discussed, the woman was so moved that she decided to say
that she identified with the gifted even though she knew she was not
gifted. <br />
<br />
She was so stirred by the class that later that evening she called her
parents. During a conversation with them, the woman student found out
that she has a measured IQ of 165. School personnel had advised her
parents not to discuss her extraordinary IQ with her. <br />
<br />
This resulted in a low level of academic seIf-esteem and the ridiculous
self-conception of being stupid! [...] <br />
</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">~~~~ <br />
<br />
As a highly gifted 12 year old described it: “<span style="font-style: italic;">A real friend is a place you go when you
need to take off the masks</span>. You can say what you want to your
friend because you know that your friend will really listen and even if
he doesn’t like what you say, he will still like you. You can take off
your camouflage with a real friend and still feel safe.”<br />
<br />
~ ~ ~</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: white; font-size: small;"><img alt="" src="http://talentdevelop.com/images/arrow5.jpg" style="border: 0px solid; height: 13px; width: 13px;" /></span><span style="font-size: small;">article
continued on <a href="http://talentdevelop.com/articles/GPATP2.html">page
2</a></span>
</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">~~~~ </span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Francis
Heylighen, PhD is a research professor at the Free University of
Brussels (VUB), and director of the transdisciplinary research group on
"Evolution, Complexity and Cognition". <br />
<br />
Personal site: <a href="http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/HEYL.html">http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/HEYL.html</a></span></div>
<div align="left" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: #555555; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #184b81;">~ ~ ~</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: #555555;"><span style="color: #184b81;"><br />
</span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: small;">Article published here with kind
permission of the author.</span>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-34030449554825658752011-10-12T21:24:00.000-07:002011-10-12T21:24:14.508-07:00Using Your High Sensitivity Personality As an Actor<h1>
<br /></h1>
<img align="right" alt="Winona Ryder" class="alignright" src="http://talentdevelop.com/images/WRyder9.jpg" title="Winona Ryder" /><strong>Winona Ryder</strong> admits there were times when she thought, “I’m too sensitive for this world right now; I just don’t belong here.<br />
“It’s too fast and I don’t understand it.”<br />
Many artists, including actors, are highly sensitive and use this trait to be even more creative.<br />
But it can also lead to being emotionally overwhelmed, if you don’t take care of yourself.<br />
Everyone has some sensitivity to inner experiences and emotions, to the moods of others, and to many other sensations.<br />
But highly sensitive people have unusually strong awareness and
reactivity, and are more likely to be shy or introverted – not that
those are the same traits.<br />
<span style="color: white;">..</span><br />
<span style="color: white;">..</span><br />
It can show up in many ways, and actors have different ways of dealing with their high sensitivity.<br />
<img align="right" alt="Rene Zellweger" class="alignright" src="http://talentdevelop.com/images/RZellweger6.jpg" title="Rene Zellweger" /><strong> </strong><br />
<strong>Renee Zellweger</strong>
says when she expresses something, it’s through the filter of her
character, so she never feels exposed. She thinks of making movies as
“private experiences” and avoids thinking about disappointing people.<br />
<br />
By the way, I am not presuming to label anyone here as a highly
sensitive person (HSP) as described by Dr. Elaine Aron and others.<br />
But many talented actors have identified themselves as highly sensitive, or at least talked about their sensitivity, including <strong>Ellen Muth</strong>; <strong>Heath Ledger</strong>; <strong>Amy Brenneman</strong>; <strong>Mandy Moore</strong>; <strong>Alison Pill</strong>;<strong> Naomi Watts</strong>, and <strong>Brittany Murphy</strong>, who once commented, “I’m a very oversensitive, vulnerable person. You have to be to do this for a living.”<br />
“I get emotional all the time,” <strong>Jennifer Beals</strong> once said. “Every now and again, my heart just explodes and expands.”<br />
<strong>Laurel Holloman</strong>, her castmate on the tv series “The L
Word,” has commented, “My theory on that is all the best actors have a
couple of layers of skin peeled away.”<br />
<strong>Scarlett Johansson</strong> has noted that sensitivity can
have a dark side: “I think I was born with a great awareness of my
surroundings and of other people. Sometimes that awareness is good, and
sometimes I wish I wasn’t so sensitive.”<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>One way to help yourself is to look at how you describe your feelings. </strong><br />
Are you “too sensitive” to work effectively or be with people who are more “normal” or less sensitive?<br />
Acknowledging yourself as being highly sensitive may help your self
concept and confidence much more than saying you are “too much”
something or other.<br />
<br />
Fame can be an assaultive experience for sensitive people. <strong>Johnny Depp</strong>
has said he felt so intimidated by his celebrity status during his
early career that he was often drunk to “be able to speak and get
through it.” <br />
But fame can also be strengthening, as <strong>Kim Basinger</strong>
explained: “Because I’m such a shy person, having to live it out loud in
front of everyone has made me a stronger woman, so much stronger, that
it’s been a gift to me in a way.”<br />
<br />
Shyness is a common experience for many highly sensitive people, including actors.<br />
<strong>Nicole Kidman</strong> has commented, “It was very natural for me to want to disappear into dark theater, I am really very shy.<br />
“That is something that people never seem to fully grasp because, when you are an actor, you are meant to be an exhibitionist.”<br />
<strong>Jane Fonda</strong> admits she didn’t get over her shyness until she was about sixty.<br />
<img align="right" alt="ERWood" class="alignright" src="http://talentdevelop.com/images/ERWood9.jpg" title="Evan Rachel Wood" /><strong>Evan Rachel Wood</strong> says, “I used to not even be able to order pizza on the phone because I was just so shy.”<br />
She thinks acting allows so much to come out on-screen, “because that’s my time to let go in a safe place.”<br />
<br />
<strong>Frances McDormand</strong> has talked about the “mental scar
tissue” that helps us deal with emotional pain in life, and thinks, “An
actor’s scar tissue really never covers over things the same way, not if
you’re going to be sensitive.<br />
“With good technique, an actor can do that and walk through life without going insane.”<br />
One strategy she suggests is to simply get away from the theater or
the set, and live life in the real world, not a fantasy world –
especially one like a film set that can be designed to be emotionally
intense.<br />
The stage or film set can be a “safe place” in many ways, and a
workplace environment where sensitive people can express themselves much
more freely than in the “real world” outside.<br />
<br />
But wherever you go, sensitivity does not disappear.<br />
<br />
From The Inner Actor.com siteLady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-9115689988239363312011-10-04T07:35:00.000-07:002011-10-04T07:35:15.892-07:0010 Ways to Beat the End-of-Summer Blues<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://images.meredith.com/parents/images/2011/07/ss_101327499.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://images.meredith.com/parents/images/2011/07/ss_101327499.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
As the carefree days and warm nights of summer come to a close, so does
the freedom of time spent outdoors playing with friends. Changes in the
season (cooling temperatures, waning sunlight, falling leaves) and
structured routines can create a more somber mood among kids, sparking
some mild (or not-so-mild) melancholy and depression. Here are 10 tips
to help kids cope with the late-summer blues and ease their transition
into the season of fall and <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/">school</a>.<br />
<br />
<div class="sldcontent">
<b><span class="ACThead3">Roll Back the Schedule</span></b>
Begin adjusting bedtime, wake-up time, and eating schedules to avoid an abrupt switch once <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/">school</a>
starts. "Slowly start to change some of the routine so it's not such a
shock in September," suggests Jennifer Kolari, family and child
therapist and author of <i>Connected Parenting</i>. Around two weeks
before school starts, begin rolling the bedtimes back by 10 or 15
minutes a night to slowly move kids into their school schedule. "We
sometimes get a little looser in the summer," says Kolari. "I think it's
easier if the day begins to have a little more structure to help kids
practice the transition." Robin Goodman, Ph.D., clinical psychologist
and art therapist agrees: "You don't want to start the transition when
school is already started."<br />
<br />
<b><span class="ACThead3">Involve Your Kids</span></b>
<br />
Let your kids help with setting up playdates, starting a chore or <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/homework/">homework</a> schedule, or <a href="http://deals.parents.com/">shopping</a> for <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/">school</a>
supplies and new outfits, suggests Dr. Goodman. Kids will let you know
what's trendy and will often have opinions about what kind of design or
theme they like for a backpack, lunch box, notebook, or clothes. The
more your kids feel a part of the back-to-school planning, the more
enthusiastic they're likely to become.<br />
<br />
<div class="sldcontent">
<b><span class="ACThead3">Look for Blues Clues</span></b>
Kolari refers to a "September crash" as a time "toward the end
of September when kids realize that summer really is over, and then they
feel sad and have behavioral issues." Trouble sleeping, resisting
getting up in the morning or going to <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/">school</a>, crying, clinging, throwing tantrums, and increasing aggression toward <a href="http://www.parents.com/parenting/dynamics/sibling-rivalry/">siblings</a>
are indications of anxiety. "It's very rare for kids in this age group
(5 to 8 year olds) to sit down and talk about their feelings," Kolari
explains. "They show you what's wrong through their behavior instead of
telling you with their words what's wrong." Observe what your kids are
doing rather than what they're saying.<br />
</div>
<br />
<div class="sldcontent">
<b><span class="ACThead3">Be a Good Listener</span></b>
Listen to kids if they share feelings of sadness that summer's ending or feelings of anxiety about the upcoming <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/">school</a>
year. Don't minimize their thoughts or stop them from being heard. "I
think one of the mistakes parents make," Kolari says, "is to try to
cheer their kids up and not let them think or talk about difficult
feelings, when they actually need the time to process." Rather than
cheerleading, "just sit with your kids and say 'Yeah, I miss that too'
and really be in there with them. Tolerating our children's pain is very
hard because it seems so counterintuitive. But to talk them out of it
doesn't help." Once they feel heard, kids will be more willing to
explore solutions and move on.<br />
</div>
<br />
<div class="sldcontent">
<b><span class="ACThead3">Prepare for Problems</span></b>
Troubleshoot potential problems with your child. If she's starting a new <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/">school</a>,
visit ahead of time or go over the route to get there. Be organized and
avoid feeling overwhelmed by deciding what's going in her backpack and
what supplies she needs beforehand. "If you predict something will be on
your kid's mind, then prepare for it. Have your child work out the best
coping strategies with you," advises Dr. Goodman. "Role-play and act
out situations that they might have trouble with." Kids may be worried
that school will be harder this year or that they won't be in a class
with friends, so allow for all scenarios.<br />
</div>
<br />
</div>
<div class="sldcontent">
<b><span class="ACThead3">Give Extra Cuddle Time</span></b>
Spending time together through playing, tickling, cuddling, and
reading gives kids a thicker skin and more confidence when they go off
on their own. "Although you'd think that would make your child not want
to leave you, the exact opposite happens. It's like you're filling them
up and they're getting what they need. That's strengthening to them, so
they can go off to <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/">school</a>
and feel a lot better," Kolari explains. The extra connection and
loving moments before a big change can help kids feel less anxious and
more self-assured.<br />
<br />
<div class="sldcontent">
<b><span class="ACThead3">Teach Relaxation Skills</span></b>
"If you can teach children relaxation skills, they can use them
whenever they start to get anxious," says Edward Christophersen, Ph.D.,
Clinical Psychologist at Children's Mercy Hospitals and Clinics in
Kansas City, MO. Dr. Christophersen describes sitting with his son just
before his first day of <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/">school</a>
and calling his attention to a leaf that had blown through the window,
which they observed and discussed. This act of being mindful can counter
stress. "What you're doing is teaching kids to be present and really
relish and enjoy pleasant activities."<br />
He also suggests recalling visual images from
pleasant experiences from the past, such as a beach outing. You can also
use a photograph to help kids recapture feelings of happiness so they
can access relaxation when they feel upset. "The main thing is getting
kids to think about positive events instead of negative or unknown
events."<br />
</div>
<br />
<div class="sldcontent">
<b><span class="ACThead3">Help Kids Set Goals</span></b>
Review the previous year and the progress your child has made;
then set goals for the upcoming year to give them something to work
toward. Dr. Goodman explains that no matter what your child's age is,
discuss what she has learned to do since last year, whether it's
writing, reading, drawing, riding a bike, etc. This helps your child see
that "there was progress, that this is a process, and that the same
thing will happen this year." Often, the two biggest focus areas for
school-age kids are academic goals and social goals, Dr. Goodman says.
By championing what has already been conquered, parents can remind their
kids "that what seemed hard in the beginning ended up being easier --
and they learned a lot."<br />
</div>
<br />
<div class="sldcontent">
<b><span class="ACThead3">Designate an Official End of Summer</span></b>
"One thing that's really nice for families is to have some sort
of ceremonial end to summer," says Kolari. Her family partakes in a
potluck they fittingly call "the last supper." "We celebrate the summer
ending, and everybody talks about their favorite moments. There's a sort
of marking ceremony that's now a tradition." Whether it's having a
barbecue, picnic, or campfire, or making a photo album, rituals can help
create closure and allow kids to take happy memories with them into
fall.<br />
</div>
<br />
<b><span class="ACThead3">Mark the Calendar</span></b>
<br />
Get the calendar out before school starts and note things to
look forward to as a family. Start mapping out fall trips such as apple
or pumpkin picking, making or <a href="http://deals.parents.com/">shopping</a> for <a href="http://www.parents.com/holiday/halloween/costumes/">Halloween costumes</a>, or anything meaningful to your child. "Kids will see this is a whole year of new things to start planning for. <a href="http://www.parents.com/kids/education/back-to-school/">Back to school</a>
doesn't have to mean back to everything awful. There are lots of other
fun things to do," Dr. Goodman points out. It's a reminder that,
although summer's ending, fall has wonderful things to offer, too.<br />
<br />
<i>Copyright © 2011 Meredith Corporation</i><br />
<i>Corinne Schuman is a mother and licensed mental health counselor in Washington, DC.</i><br />
<i>From www.parents.com by Jennifer Kolari </i><br />
<br />
</div>
Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-70487111215475250002011-10-03T08:43:00.000-07:002011-10-03T08:43:42.823-07:00The True Meaning of the Golden Rule: Love Your Bullies<h1 class="title" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong><em>Post by Izzy Kalman</em></strong></span></h1>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">February 20, 2010<br />Psychology Today Blog, <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psychological-solution-bullying/201002/the-true-meaning-the-golden-rule-love-your-bullies"><em>A Psychological Solution to Bullying</em></a><br /></span>
<div class="content">
<div class="article-content-top">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/narcissism" title="Psychology Today looks at Narcissism"> </a></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong><em><img height="320" src="http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/u212/NormanRockwellTheGoldenRule_0.jpg" style="float: left; margin-right: 10px;" width="275" />The Golden Rule</em></strong>: It's the ultimate, all-encompassing rule of <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/morality" title="Psychology Today looks at Morality">morality</a>, promoted by every <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/religion" title="Psychology Today looks at Religion">religion</a> and ethical system. Today, many anti-bullying organizations are touting the Golden Rule as the solution to <a class="pt-basics-link" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/bullying" title="Psychology Today looks at Bullying">bullying</a>. However, as I will be explaining, very few people actually understand what it comes to teach us.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">While the term <em>the Golden Rule</em> (I will refer to it as GR for
the rest of the article) was coined only a couple of hundred years
ago, the rule has been recognized for thousands of years. Its most
familiar formulations are:<em> Love your fellow/neighbor as yourself;
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you; Whatever is hateful
to yourself, do not do to others.</em></span><br />
</div>
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;">2400 years ago Aristotle made a logical proof that the best way to
live our lives is the GR. He explained that if everyone lived by the GR,
we wouldn't need government–we would all get along nicely without any
human authority over us (according to Mortimer Adler in the book, <em>Aristotle for Everyone</em>). Two thousand years ago, the Jewish sage Hillel, when asked "to explain the Torah <em>[the Jewish body of rules for life based on the Bible]</em> while standing on one leg," said, "Whatever is hateful to yourself, do not do to others–all the rest is commentary."</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">It's obvious that if people lived by the Golden Rule life would be
terrific. Relationships would be ideal. Bullying would cease to be a
problem. If the entire world lived by the Golden Rule, there would be
Peace on Earth. It's also obvious that it's impossible to be living
ethically if we are violating the GR. So why don't the social sciences
and the mental health professions teach the practice of the GR? Why is
bullying an escalating problem? Why are we still afraid of World War
III? Why has the GR failed to accomplish its purpose?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>I believe it's because of two general reasons. </strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>One reason</strong> the social sciences and mental health
professions don't teach the practice of the GR is that the GR has
become associated with religion, but psychology is science, and science
is divorced from religion. So we don't even consider the GR.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">But the GR is not a religious rule. It says absolutely nothing about
a god or a higher power. You can be an atheist and still cherish the
GR. As I will be explaining shortly, the GR is actually a scientific
psychological rule. It is a simple formula for defusing aggression and
creating harmony.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>The other reason</strong> is that very few people understand
what the GR is really about. Some people, including intelligent,
educated ones, believe it means that we have to do to others exactly
what we want for ourselves. For example, let's say I'm going to buy you
a necktie as a gift. If I like red neckties, I should give you a red
necktie even though you may prefer blue, because I like red. That is an
infantile interpretation of the GR.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Many people believe the GR means that it is important to be nice to people.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">But that's not its purpose. We do not need the GR to inform us that it is important to be nice to people. It is <em>obvious</em> that it is important to be nice. The problem is, <em>What do we do when people <strong>aren't</strong> nice to us?</em> Our entire lives we are being taught how important it is to be nice. So when someone is mean to us, how do we respond? <em>My God! They're not allowed to treat me that way! I am always nice to everyone! How dare they be mean to me?!</em> So we get angry. We want to get them punished. We want <span class="pt-basics-link">revenge</span>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">What the GR really means is, <em>We should be nice to people even when they are mean to us.</em></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><em></em>Read the <a class="ext" href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5-7&version=NIV" target="_blank">Sermon on the Mount</a>,
the compendium of Jesus' moral instructions for people. (When I refer
to Jesus in this article, I am not talking about him religiously. It is
up to you whether you believe he is divine or mortal or even existed. I
am strictly talking about his <span class="pt-basics-link">wisdom</span>, his <span class="pt-basics-link">philosophy</span>,
as presented in the teachings attributed to him.) He talks about the
GR. He says it is not about being nice to people who are nice to us.
Anyone can do that. That comes naturally to us. Jesus says that even the
tax collectors can do that–and Jesus was not particularly fond of tax
collectors. Jesus says it's about being nice to people even when they
are mean to us, and he gives us many examples. He says, love your enemy;
turn the other cheek; if someone asks you to carry something for a
mile, carry it for two miles; if someone wants your coat, give them your
jacket, too. He says, don't get angry. This means, of course, don't
get angry at people when they are <em>mean</em> to us. (We don't get angry at people when they are <em>nice</em> to us.) Jesus understood this perfectly, but very few others do.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">(The truth is that there are entire cultures that understand the
true meaning of the GR, and they live in incredible harmony. One such
people are the <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psychological-solution-bullying/200911/ladakh-society-no-bullies-or-victims">Ladakhis, who I wrote about in a recent blog entry</a>. The book about them, <em>Ancient Futures</em>, never even mentions the words <em>the Golden Rule</em>, but the description of their way of life matches the GR precisely).</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Allow me to explain how the GR works scientifically/psychologically.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">We are biologically programmed for what I refer to as the Rule of
Nature, or what many social scientists refer to as the Law of
Reciprocity. This means that I will treat you the way you treat me. If
you're nice to me, I'll be nice back, and if you're mean to me, I will
be mean back.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">In nature, if you are nice to me, you are probably my friend, so it
is safe for me to be nice in return, and it will benefit both of us. If
you are mean to me in nature, you are probably a real enemy trying to
injure me or kill me. I had better not be nice to you when you are
trying to injure or kill me or I'll make it even easier for you. In
fact, I had better be even meaner to you than you are to me or I'm going
to be a big loser!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">If you think about it, you'll realize that we are all biologically
programmed for reciprocity. When someone is being genuinely nice to
you, do you feel like being <em>mean</em> back? Of course not. You feel like being <em>nice</em> back. And when someone is being mean to you, do you feel like being <em>nice</em> back? No. You feel like being <em>mean</em>
back. We can control our responses, but this is what our guts tell us:
to be nice to those who are nice to us and mean to those who are mean
to us. With the exception of some people who have serious neurological
or emotional disturbances, we are all like this. No one had to teach it
to us or we wouldn't all be like this.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">But even the Rule of Nature/Law of Reciprocity creates a fair amount
of harmony. If you observe creatures living in nature–including
humans–you will notice that they spend far more time being nice to
members of their own group than they do being mean. That's because we
discover that when we are nice to others, they tend to be nice back,
and when we're mean to others, they tend to be mean back. So we figure
out by ourselves that in general it pays to be nice to others.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>The GR makes a higher level of harmony possible. It actually
takes advantage of our programming for reciprocity. And this is how it
works.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">If I live by reciprocity, I have very little control of my
relationships. If you are nice to me, I will be nice in return and we
will be friends. However, if you are mean to me, I will be mean in
return and we will be enemies. The GR puts <em>me</em> in control. I will be nice to you <em>even</em>
when you are mean to me. Why? Because how long can you continue being
mean to me when I am always nice to you? Before long, you are going to
start being nice to me because you are biologically programmed to treat <em>me</em> the way I treat <em>you</em>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>The GR is the therefore the ultimate empowerment.</strong> It
is the solution to being a victim. A victim reacts. A victim's
behavior is therefore controlled by the bully. But in order to not be a
victim, we must act independently of the bully's actions. we treat them
like friends even when they treat us like enemies. And that way <em>we</em> end up controlling <em>them</em>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Treating people like friends does not mean that we must give them everything they want</strong>.
We can be hurting people by giving them everything they want. We can
be spoiling them, enabling them or helping them become bad people. The
GR requires us to say "no" to people sometimes, but we are to do it
nicely, without <span class="pt-basics-link">anger</span>. Nor does
the GR mean that we must let people abuse us, injure us or kill us. We
are required to protect ourselves and to stop others from hurting us.
The GR even requires us to kill people if there is no other way to stop
them from being murderous. But it is not because we hate them. It is
because we love them and they give us no choice.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Anti-bully activists have been trying to promote the GR.</strong>
They have adopted the GR as their motto, and they gets kids to wear
rubber bracelets engraved with the GR. However, the activists don't
truly understand the GR. They believe it means, <em>Don't act like a <span class="pt-basics-link">bully</span></em>.
They are really promoting reciprocity: We will be nice to you if you
are nice to us, but if you bully us, we will have no tolerance for you
and we will get you punished ("administered consequences," in current
jargon). What the anti-bully activists don't realize is that the GR
really means, <em>Don't act like a victim! </em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><em><br /></em></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Someone once showed me a letter written by a school principal to the
students of the school. It explained how important it is to live by the
GR. The concluding paragraph said (the following are not the <em>exact</em> words, but they're pretty close): "So you have to live by the GR in school, and if you don't, we will have no choice but to <span class="pt-basics-link">punish</span> you." Sorry, Mr. Principal, but that is a <em>violation</em> of the GR. How would you like it if some authority figure went around punishing <em>you</em> whenever they decided you didn't treat someone the way s/he wanted to be treated?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus says outright that the GR is a rejection of reciprocity:</span><br />
<blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;">You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbor,
and hate your enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them
that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who
despitefully use you, and persecute you. (Matthew 5:43-44)</span><br />
</blockquote>
<span style="font-size: small;"><strong>Loving our enemies is the true purpose of the GR.</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">We don't need to be instructed to love our friends because that
comes naturally to us. When it comes to enemies, though, our natural
instinct is to hate them. However, that only escalates their hatred for
us in return. Now, how would you like it if your enemies <em>loved</em>
you? Wouldn't it be terrific? They wouldn't be your enemies anymore!
So just as we would like our enemies to love us, we need to love our
enemies.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">If we were to replace our <em>zero-tolerance-for-bullying</em> policies with this simple expression of the GR–<em>Love your enemy (bully); be nice to people even when they are mean to you–</em>bullying would disappear. And if we were to teach it on an international level, we might achieve peace on earth.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">No other way is possible. We can't practice intolerance of bullying,
hoping that it will lead to a society in which intolerance no longer
exists. We can't conduct war against other countries hoping that it will
lead to a world without war. The only way to lead to a world that
lives by the GR is by living by the GR <em>now</em>.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><em><strong>Disclaimer:</strong> While I teach the meaning of the
GR, I don't claim to be a model of it. There are people who live by the
GR much better than I do without ever having been taught the rule. I
often forget to apply it, and people who know me can attest to it. So
if you wish to accuse me of being a hypocrite, I will be the first to
agree!</em></span><br />
</div>
Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-23876047584542030562011-09-15T02:19:00.000-07:002011-09-15T02:19:59.787-07:00The happy gene that makes you a smiley, more positive person<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: inherit; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/09/09/article-2035716-0DAEE11500000578-355_468x369.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/09/09/article-2035716-0DAEE11500000578-355_468x369.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">If you are a cheery soul whose glass always seems half full, you can thank your parents.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">You will probably be pleased to learn some of us are born optimists who have inherited a 'happy gene'.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">The finding may help to explain why some people are always miserable while others tend to look on the bright side.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Professor Elaine Fox at Essex University
showed more than 100 people positive and negative pictures on a
computer screen, such as growling dogs and smiling children.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Using a revolutionary computer based therapy, she was able to measure which ones they concentrated on.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Volunteers
supplied a sample of their DNA and they were tested to see which
version they carried of the 5-HTTLPR gene which affects levels of the
'feel-good' chemical serotonin.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">We inherit either two 'short' versions, a long and a short versions or two 'long' versions of the gene.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Those
with two short versions of the gene managed to focus on the positive
images and avoid getting upset by the negative ones, according to the
research published online in Biological Psychiatry.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Strangely
this 'short' version of the gene is the same one which has been
associated with making people feel anxious and depressed and it suggests
these people have a'very emotional' response to their environment.</span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Professor Fox said: 'When times are really good, it is those with the highly reactive short genotype who really benefit.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; font-family: inherit; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; font-family: inherit; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-size: small;">'They were very response to positive
images which suggests they will thrive in a supportive environment, but
previous research shows they can also go under, and will be particularly
devastated by a traumatic experience.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">'It
suggests these people are very susceptible to emotional aspects of
their environment. Those with the long version are less reactive which
means that they often fare best in fairly benign conditions but they
perhaps would not gain as much from a good experience.'</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">The researchers described the finding as a mechanism which seems to explain our levels of resillience to life's general stress.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">The results could be used to determine appropriate therapy for people recovering from traumatic situations.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Professor Fox added: 'If a person's genotype is identified, the correct therapy can make all the difference to recovery.'</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; font-family: inherit; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Bron: Daily Mail online </span></div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">
By
<a class="author" href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/search.html?s=&authornamef=Tamara+Cohen" rel="nofollow">Tamara Cohen</a></span>
</div>
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Last updated at 2:41 AM on 10th September 2011</span></div>
<div style="background-color: transparent; border: medium none; color: black; font-family: inherit; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-12097187444087923482011-09-11T06:05:00.000-07:002011-09-11T06:06:00.697-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images/C/caz15th/1127562907_ensitivity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://quizilla.teennick.com/user_images/C/caz15th/1127562907_ensitivity.jpg" width="313" /></a></div>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}"> </span></span></h6>
<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":1}" style="font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="messageBody" data-ft="{"type":3}">Here are 14 Success Strategies for Highly Sensitive People!<br /> <br /> 1. Accept your sensitivity. <br />
Your sensitivity is a gift. I know it doesn’t always feel like it. But
it is. I spent more than half of my life denying that I was a highly
sensitive. Until you acknowledge and say “yes” to your sensitivity you
cannot begin to learn the tools that will help you leverage that
sensitivity into a positive benefit.<br /> <br /> 2. Choose to empower your sensitivity rather than minimize it. <br />
It has taken me many years to get to the place where I can truly claim
my sensitivity and use it as a powerful tool on my journey of
self-discovery and deliberate creation. As a Highly Sensitive Person in
an often over stimulating world, dampening your sensitivity sometimes
seems like the best solution. And while that may be helpful, and even
necessary, at first, ultimately you want to empower your sensitivity and
turn it into a powerful ally in the creation of a truly brilliant life.<br /> <br /> 3. Spend time with other sensitive people. <br />
It is very easy to get caught up in the stress and overload of our
frenetic, chaotic world. Sometimes it seems as if there is no one else
as sensitive as you. And from that thought it’s a short slide down the
slippery slope into feeling like you are crazy or weird or strange. So
find some other folks who are highly sensitive and create a support
group where you can go for encouragement and to remind each other that
you are not alone and that you are not crazy. One important note on
this: This group is not a complain and whine group! The point is not to
compare notes on how horrible and insensitive the rest of the world is.
You connect with other Highly Sensitive People in order to know that you
are not alone and discuss ways to leverage your sensitivity to create
positive changes in your lives!<br /> <br /> 4. Hang out with successful, not-so-sensitive people.<br />
I know this seems like a contradiction of the last one. But I have seen
it happen (in myself and others) where a sensitive person basically
says “screw you” to the rest of the world and all of the less sensitive
people and finds someplace to curl up in a little ball and hide. While
this can certainly be a beneficial and sometimes necessary short-term
strategy, it’s not an effective long-term solution. Those of us who are
highly sensitive can learn a lot from people who are not sensitive. So
find some not-so-sensitive people who are successful and begin hanging
out with them. Observe them. Learn from them. Watch how they move
through the world. Not so that you can dampen your sensitivity but so
that you might learn how to bring your sensitivity into the world in a
balanced manner.<br /> <br /> 5. Start a regular practice of “mindful exercise.” <br />
Exercise is important for everyone. But especially so for Highly
Sensitive People. Moving your body helps to get any environmental,
emotional and energetic toxins out of your system. While any type of
exercise is beneficial, workouts that incorporate your mind, body and
spirit can be especially helpful. Try things like Yoga, Tai Chi, Akido.
and Pilates. Dancing and rock-climbing can also be great opportunities
for the body, mind and spirit to move. The bottom line is to find a form
of exercise that touches YOUR body, mind and spirit.<br /> <br /> 6. Find HSP role models, sensitive people who have leveraged their sensitivity to create a great life. <br />
Do you know any Highly Sensitive People who have learned to not only
survive in this world, but thrive in it? What lessons can learn from
them? What life strategies can you emulate? If you can’t find role
models in your own life, look in the wider world. What teachers,
authors, artists, and entrepreneurs (yes there are successful AND highly
sensitive entrepreneurs) can you find? Once you find them, again look
for lessons and strategies that they are using to leverage their
sensitivity into success.<br /> <br /> 7. Gently push yourself beyond the level of your sensitivity. <br />
Your sensitivity is a gift and strength. But in order for this gift to
be of any value to you and to the world, you must learn how to put it
into use. That means you have to stretch yourself and bring your
sensitivity with you into places and situations where it feels
uncomfortable. Just as you build muscle mass through resistance, you
increase your ability to bring your sensitivity into the world by
practicing and exercising.<br /> <br /> 8. Know your limits. <br /> Don’t push
yourself so far that you blow a fuse! Become aware of the internal
signals that let you know you are reaching maximum capacity. And when
you notice them back off. You want to push yourself and strengthen your
sensitivity, but not to the point where it causes you to blow a fuse!<br /> <br /> 9. Set up a consistent self-care routine. <br />
As a sensitive person you need more self care than others. Don’t
compare yourself to less sensitive people. Get clear on your needs and
take steps to ensure that those needs are met. If you need a massage
every week, get one. If you need to take a bath with sea salts every
night, do it. Your sensitivity is of no use if you are not able to
function in the world!<br /> <br /> 10. Connect with nature as often as possible. <br />
If there is one consistent theme I have found among sensitive people it
is the restorative capacity of nature. Even if you live in a city get
outside every day. Connect with a tree. If you don’t want to look
strange, pretend you’re leaning up against it waiting for some. But
while you’re there, feel the restorative, grounding energy flowing
through that tree.<br /> <br /> 11. Create safe, sanctuary spaces. <br /> It
is very important for sensitive people to have safe spaces to go to when
the world gets overwhelming. You need to know that no matter what is
happening in the wider world, that you have a safe space, a sanctuary to
which you can return and restore yourself. Ideally, your home is your
sanctuary. If it’s not, start by taking a small space and turning it
into a safe, private, sanctuary where you can go when you need quiet and
solitude.<br /> <br /> 12. Limit your exposure to news. <br /> In some ways,
this one suggestion may be the easiest and most powerful success
strategy for Highly Sensitive People. And yet, I find it amazing how
often this suggestion triggers people. They feel that if they don’t read
the newspaper they’ll be missing out on important information. My
response is that if reading the newspaper makes you feel like crap what
good does that information do for anyone. I would much rather see you
feeling great and doing positive things in the world, than see you
feeling depressed and hopeless because you’re reading too much news.<br /> <br /> 13. Explore energetic healing modalities. <br />
My training at the Academy of Intuition Medicine has been the most
powerful work in my quest to empower and balance my sensitive nature.
Try acupuncture, homeopathy, reiki, energy medicine, flower essences and
other forms of energetic healing. When you find one that works,
schedule regular sessions.<br /> <br /> 14. Learn how to create positive energetic boundaries.<br />
There are wonderful resources that can teach you to setup positive
energetic boundaries. Start with my course, The Energetics of Attraction
and explore Energy Medicine University (the distance learning wing of
the Academy of Intuition Medicine). Read books by Caroline Myss, Donna
Eden, and others. Once you venture into this world you will be amazed at
how easily you are led to the information and teachers you need to get
learn how to thrive in this world!<br /> <br /> If you are a Highly
Sensitive Person, I encourage you to begin using some of these
strategies. Look through the list and pick one or two of these that
resonate with you and begin integrating them into your daily life. You
may be surprised at how quickly and dramatically your life can change
when you actively employ success strategies specifically designed for
Highly Sensitive People.<br /> <br /> Please leave a comment below and let
us know which of these strategies you already use and what other
techniques you use as a sensitive person in this world.<br /> <br /> And if
you want more information, inspiration and techniques to help you thrive
in this world as an empowered sensitive person, I encourage you to read
my new report: The Energetics of Attraction: Understanding and Applying
the Harmonics of Human Awareness and to Compose The Life You Desire.<br /> <br /> Bron: <a href="http://www.evolvingtimes.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.evolvingtimes.com</a></span></span></h6>
Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-86121761285353093432011-09-03T08:36:00.000-07:002011-09-03T08:36:01.725-07:00WHO ARE THE CHILDREN, REALLY?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://everychildhealthy.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/healthy-lifestyle-for-children.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://everychildhealthy.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/healthy-lifestyle-for-children.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<h3 class="post-title entry-title" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://freethechildrenblog.blogspot.com/2011/08/who-are-children-really.html"><br /></a></span>
</h3>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></span><div class="post-header" style="font-family: inherit;">
</div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">
Who are the children, really? Many of our ideas about children are
rooted in the same kind of fear and beliefs that form the artificial
division between people of different races, gender and religions...the
belief that those different from us, are less than, or in some way, so
different, that we tend to marginalize, dismiss and patronize them, if
not out loud, then in our thoughts. These attitudes are not naturally
occurring in children or us. They are taught.
</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="font-family: inherit;">What would it take to step out of our adult/parent roles and
beliefs, to see clearly who children are behind their size, age and
appearing to be, disturbing behaviors? We were children once. We
noticed how the adults in our lives knew little about who we were, what
we knew or how we felt. . It wasn’t that they couldn’t, they just
didn’t know how. They too, were following rules and beliefs they had
learned.
</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="font-family: inherit;">If we were fortunate, we had at least one adult in our childhood
that recognized who we were completely: able to connect with us beneath
our size and age. We can be that for all the children we know and live
with now
</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="font-family: inherit;">It is ONLY fair and just that children be seen as whole, exquisitely
sensitive, wise, highly perceptive human beings that are no less, nor
more than the bigger, older people in this world. As we free the
children from our fears, we free ourselves. . </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Source: http://freethechildrenblog.blogspot.com/ - Bruce Scott </span></span>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-90293776670292993892011-09-01T14:37:00.000-07:002011-09-01T14:37:27.229-07:00Being Highly Sensitive and Creative<div align="center">
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<h1 id="post-798" style="text-align: left;">
<span class="author"><span style="font-size: small;">By <span class="authorb">Douglas Eby</span></span>
</span></h1>
</div>
<br />
<em><img alt="" class="alignright size-thumbnail wp-image-709" height="150" src="http://blogs.psychcentral.com/creative-mind/files/2011/06/The-Artists-Hand-2401-150x150.jpg" width="150" /> </em><br />
<br />
<em>“Highly sensitive people are all creative by definition.”</em><br />
<br />
Elaine Aron, PhD adds that it is “because we process things so
thoroughly and notice so many subtleties and emotional meanings that we
can easily put two unusual things together.”<br />
<br />
Sensory sensitivity also comes into play in many creative endeavors.
When Therese Borchard of Beliefnet interviewed me (her Huffington Post
column has the title 5 Gifts of Being Highly Sensitive), one of the
“gifts” I mentioned is the richness of sensory detail that life
provides.<br />
<br />
The subtle shades of texture in clothing, and foods when cooking, the
sounds of music or even traffic or people talking, fragrances and
colors of nature – all of these may be more intense for highly sensitive
people.<br />
<br />
<span id="more-798"></span><br />
(Of course, people are not simply “sensitive” or “not sensitive” – like other qualities and traits, it’s a matter of degree.)<br />
<br />
Years ago, I took a color discrimination test to work as a
photographic technician, making color prints. The manager said I’d
scored better, with more subtle distinctions between hues in the test
charts, than anyone he had evaluated.<br />
<br />
That kind of response to color makes visual experience rich and
exciting, and can help artists and designers be even more excellent.<br />
<br />
See more in my post <a href="http://highlysensitive.org/330/gifts-and-challenges-of-being-highly-sensitive/" target="_blank">Gifts and challenges of being highly sensitive</a>.<br />
<br />
In her article <a href="http://talentdevelop.com/articlelive/articles/888/1/Highly-Sensitive-Persons---High-Sensitivity-and-Creative-Ability/Page1.html" target="_blank">Highly Sensitive Persons – High Sensitivity and Creative Ability</a>,
psychologist Susan Meindl, MA writes, “A temperamental connection has
been observed between between high Sensitivity and creativity.
Individuals may manifest extreme sensitivity to stimulation, or psychic
over-excitabilities, in any of five areas: intellectual, psychomotor,
imaginational, emotional, or sensual.” <br />
(This is a reference to the work of Kazimierz Dabrowski, MD, PhD – see my information page <a href="http://talentdevelop.com/Dabrowski.html" target="_blank">Dabrowski / advanced development</a>.)<br />
<br />
She says the three areas of emotional, intellectual, and
imaginational excitability “have been theorized to be most indicative of
developmental potential and creative expression.” But, she notes,
“Sometimes over-excitability can cause difficulties.”<br />
<br />
That is something that Elaine Aron and many others address in their work.<br />
<br />
For example Lisa A. Riley, LMFT (Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist) writes:<br />
<em>Throughout my practice, I have encountered a connection between highly sensitive people and their own creative impulses.</em><br />
<em>This characteristic does not discriminate between painter, actor,
or musician—they all appear to have one thing in common: they
experience the world differently than the average individual.</em><br />
<em>Creatives often feel and perceive more intensely, dramatically,
and with a wildly vivid color palate to draw from, which can only be
described as looking at the world through a much larger lens.</em><br />
<em>Without a substantial filtration system firmly in place to screen
out most of the busy noise, these people tend to receive a far greater
amount of stimuli directly into their psyches.</em><br />
<em>As a result, they frequently become more attuned to subtle
details in their environment, to the people they deal with, and
especially to their own internal process.</em><br />
From her guest post on my Highly Sensitive site: <a href="http://highlysensitive.org/325/highly-sensitive-personality-and-creativity/" target="_blank">Highly Sensitive Personality and Creativity</a>.<br />
<br />
Another therapist, Ane Axford, MS, LFMT, writes in her guest article <a href="http://talentdevelop.com/articlelive/articles/1173/1/Are-you-drowning-in-a-sea-of-sensitivity-Its-time-to-walk-on-water/Page1.html" target="_blank">Are you drowning in a sea of sensitivity? It’s time to walk on water</a> about dealing with our high sensitivity:<br />
<blockquote>
<em>I have often heard an analogy in the psychology field
that creative geniuses and those who experience mental disorder are in
the same water. The difference is that one is swimming and the other is
drowning.</em></blockquote>
The initial quote is from my post: <a href="http://blogs.psychcentral.com/creative-mind/2010/10/elaine-aron-on-creativity-and-sensitivity/" target="_blank">Elaine Aron on Creativity and Sensitivity</a>.<br />
The image is <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/fenris117/4397784898/" target="_blank">The Artist’s Hand</a> – by The odd Note. I also use it for the cover of my short Kindle book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004HILU6O" target="_blank">Being Highly Sensitive and Creative</a>.<br />
~ ~<br />
<div class="postauthor">
Douglas Eby, MA/Psychology, is a writer
and researcher on the psychology of creative expression and personal
growth. He is author of the <a href="http://talentdevelop.com/">Talent Development Resources</a> series of sites.
Also see his <a href="http://facebook.com/TalentDevelop">Facebook</a> and <a href="http://twitter.com/talentdevelop">Twitter</a> pages. You can get a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Creative-Mind/dp/B004IPP8RS">subscription to The Creative Mind</a> for Kindle, and info about the <a href="http://talentdevelop.com/developing-talent-newsletter/">Developing Talent newsletter</a>.</div>
Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60654998309203588.post-27239683274917006702011-08-22T01:02:00.000-07:002011-08-22T01:02:21.619-07:00Personality and Temperament: The Highly Sensitive Person Who Is Also A High Sensation Seeker<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/2009/0409/img/newsstand.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/2009/0409/img/newsstand.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://www.hsperson.com/pages/com_zone.htm"> </a> Bron: May 2006: <i>Comfort Zone ONLINE</i><br />
<span class="big"><b></b><br />
(Including at the end the High Sensation Seeking Scale for HSPs)</span></span> </div><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></span><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In the last issue I was reporting on two new theoretical insights that bear on how science is beginning to understand high sensitivity. One theory was about the Behavioral Inhibition System (BIS), which may be stronger in HSPs. The BIS was originally associated with anxiety, but now it is understood to have three functions, one of which has nothing to do with sensing danger, but with simply attending to what’s going on, including making the best of opportunities. As you know, this is something I have always argued about HSPs and have demonstrated with my own research that unless HSPs have had many bad experiences, so that they see danger everywhere, they are no more prone to anxiety than those with a less active BIS. But HSPs are more aware and attentive than those with a less strong BIS. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">According to this theory, if an opportunity is sensed, the Behavioral Activation System (BAS) is alerted. It wants to send us out into the world immediately to get what we want or simply to explore. Those with a strong BAS are naturally more curious, eager to “go for it.” This trait is called High Sensation Seeking (HSS, or sometimes it’s called High Novelty Seeking). When it was first studied, the high sensation or novelty seeking aspect was confused with impulsivity and high risk taking. A desire for anything, including anything new, will always be a factor in how much one is willing to risk, even an HSP. But if there’s too great of a risk involved, in an HSP the desire is easily countered by the strong BIS. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>About The Test You Are Probably About To Take</b></span> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Hence I had to create a new sensation seeking scale. <b>The revised High Sensation Seeking Test is below.</b> This test is not backed up by as much research as the HSP test, but will give you a rough idea of your HSS tendencies. Compared to other HSS tests, this version does not have items that imply taking a serious risk, or very much risk of any kind. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">For example, HSSs are known to enjoy trying “recreational drugs,” since that leads to all sorts of novel experiences, and a question about this is on most HSS questionnaires. But not many HSPs would answer yes to that, even if they are an HSS too, unless the drug were safe and legal, which things called “recreational drugs” usually are not. So I worded it differently, so that it could include alcohol or even caffeine. I also included fewer items about physical risk, but even then found men scored higher than women. So I provide different norms for men and women. These also are not written in stone—perhaps in another community and certainly in another culture, different norms might apply. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Suppose you are an HSP who scores high on this test, too? What does that mean for you? As with your sensitivity, I can tell you what most HSP/HSSs are like and see if you recognize yourself. But nothing I say will be true of every HSP/HSS because each has so many other innate traits as well as a vast array of different experiences throughout their lives. But in general, again, HSP/HSSs have a strong desire for novelty and the “good stuff” in life, but are not willing to take high risks to get these. Since there’s plenty of novelty and pleasure to be found without taking risks, HSPs who are also HSSs tend to do just that—enjoy safe novelty, eagerly go after pleasures that are not dangerous—and to do this pursuing more than HSPs who are not HSSs. However, it’s amazing how safe an HSP can make a risky sport, for example. I know HSPs who have done hang gliding, and many like to ski, scuba dive, and ride horses. But they do these safely. They may be fire fighters or work in law enforcement, but they use their observational skills and low impulsivity to do their job as safely as possible, and hence more effectively in the long run. Obviously many people in these professions live to a ripe old age, so it’s certainly possible to do. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Being an HSP/HSS almost sounds like the best of all possible worlds, doesn’t it? And I think it can be. But most HSS/HSPs will tell you it’s also rough going. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>The Trouble With Being An HSP/HSS</b></span> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I have always used the analogy one HSP/HSS gave me, which was that she felt like she lived with one foot on the gas, one foot on the brake. But in fact, both parts are drivers, with human concerns and strategies for getting their way. Hence HSP/HSSs more often feel like two people in a constant argument. And the HSS part often wins because in this culture, at least, the combination of curiosity, competitiveness (more typical of HSSs), and risk taking are all admired more than the HSP combination of traits. Hence the HSP part often feels it has less power and is more often dominated by the HSS part. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">These thoughts led me to comparing the HSP/HSS to a couple in which one is an HSP but not an HSS, the other is an HSS but not an HSP. As with such couples, the person with an HSP and an HSS inside has no problem with boredom, but a lot of trouble with conflict. So, as with such couples, the following points apply. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">1. <i>Look at it as a package deal.</i> What you don’t like about the other is just the flip side of what you do like. Your HSP part is a spoilsport with all its worries? A hindrance to every plan? It’s also prudent. It keeps you safe to enjoy more novelty another day. Is it indecisive, always wanting to wait and see? It’s also a good strategist; it helps you win. Is it needing all of this down time, this boring doing nothing that keeps you from being able to join in when others are out doing new things? But as it processes, it discovers new insights and fresh aspects of every situation. It is finding novelty and satisfying your curiosity. It’s just a kind of exploring that does not require going anywhere or taking any risks at all. Pretty neat, once you see it that way. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now what would the HSP part of you say? Does it feel run ragged by the HSS part? Feel dragged into risky situations, rough new sports, travel to strange places where there’s more disease and crime? Well, another way to look at that is that the more you, the HSP, tries these things and is successful, the less risky it will seem next time. And, you’ll increasingly see yourself as very competent in all sorts of situations, as competent as any worldly non-HSP. You might even enjoy yourself. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Does the HSS never allow you a chance to rest? Well, at least your life very interesting and full of adventures, which many other HSPs might envy. Does the HSS seem to get its way too often, enjoying the support of everyone around you? At least it’s keeping you, the HSP, safely hidden from those who would misunderstand you and wound your feelings. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">However, you are a little right, in that since the culture supports the HSS more, you will have to learn to give it a firm NO when NO it needs to be. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In my experience, all of this is more difficult for those HSP/HSSs who have had difficult, stressful lives, so that they experience the world now as very threatening, which frustrates the HSS, and without meaning, which alarms the HSP. They feel more ashamed of whichever side of themselves they are showing, and more dominated by it, rather even imagining that the two parts can live together or even help each other. Often they use all the activity that the HSS part wants as a defense against their bad feelings, which are associated with the HSP part. The HSP part, in turn, is used to having a rough time of it ever since childhood, and even of being misused by others and powerless to stop it. So the HSP part is given little attention, which allows their HSS part to wear them out physically until they develop some illness or chronic syndrome, the only way the HSP can get its needs met, which is for rest, nurturing, less stimulation, and a chance to process. Unfortunately, that processing may lead to more bad feelings, so the troubled HSP/HSS is often out of bed as soon as possible, trying to escape the HSP part once again. If the HSP part is dominating, the person may not leave the bed after all, but the person’s suffering may be more psychological—panic attacks, agoraphobia, and depression. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">2. <i>Grieve what cannot be.</i> As an HSS who is also an HSP, you will always be limited in how much novelty, risk, and stimulation you can manage. As an HSP who is also an HSS, you will often be right at the edge of feeling overstimulated. Overextended. Over aroused. You’ll have to get used to the idea. Both of them. You won’t find good solutions until you’ve accepted your predicament fully. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">3. <i>Now, get creative.</i> Having accepted what is, you can begin to plan ways to make both parts of you happy. You really can. Look at the happy couples in which one’s an HSP, one’s not. They find solutions. So can you. Does the HSS like big cities, the HSP find them overwhelming? </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">At regular intervals, let the HSS explore a new city—to find the most beautiful, quiet spots for the HSP to enjoy. Does the HSP want to go to the country? Let the HSS explore new places each time, those places that the HSP has a hunch will be good. Does the HSP want to just stay home? Bring in some variety. Try new foods. Watch a video the HSP would usually avoid, but fast forward through the upsetting parts. Get a pet who is just like you—a peppy pup who loves to roam with the HSS, but once worn out, will sleep contentedly beside the HSP. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">4. <i>Use each part to bring YOU what you want.</i> There’s a you who is neither HSP or HSS. Did you ever think about that? This you has talents, values, and goals that are quite specific, not just those of all HSPs or all HSSs. The HSS in you wants to display those talents, live by those values, and achieve those goals as soon as possible. Just living this way, living fully, can be a special thrill to the HSS. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">But the HSP in you really wants to be sure it is all done right. No mistakes due to impulsive decisions, and hence no deeply disappointing or humiliating failures. Now, what a winning combo, if the HSS uses the HSP to notice all the subtleties and only take action when success is as certain as anything can be by studying a situation, and the HSP lets the HSS make its move when the time is right. After all, even HSPs love success. But they can’t succeed if they don’t try. The HSS is the one who will make it happen. As someone once said about golf, “Every shot I don’t take is a certain failure.” So YOU chose your goal. Then let your HSS swing. After your HSP takes aim. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>The Other Problems With Being An HSP/HSS: Now That You Get Along With Yourself Better…</b></span> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">What about others? HSP/HSSs seem to have a harder time finding the right partner, because really they need another HSP/HSS, and those are relatively scarce. You can imagine the troubles otherwise, in both cases. Maybe the worst problem, at least for the other person, is that the inner conflict gets “projected.” With another HSP, that person is blamed for to many of the problems that actually the inner HSP is causing the HSP/HSS. “You never want to do anything!” The same is true when the HSP/HSS is trying to live with an HSS. The HSS partner is the problem, as the HSP/HSS forgets about his or her own HSS part and complains, “You wear me out. Can’t we stay home? You just don’t understand me.” </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I recall a couple in which the husband was an HSS, the wife the blend of the two. They were two journalists, and they happened to be on a vacation in a remote locale when a terrible terrorist act was committed there. As newspaper reporters for the daily paper of a large city—and the only reporters who happened to be already on the scene—they had the chance and indeed the news journalist’s duty to report the event to the world. The HSS husband was able to write his story about the catastrophe without too much distress, and was even glad he’d had this great career opportunity. The HSP/HSS wife could write nothing for days (although what she eventually wrote was deeply meaningful). She was too shocked, almost as if she’d been in the nightclub herself. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Talking with me, she realized that she had chosen a career in newspaper journalism because of her HSS side, but she was going to have to think twice about the kind of reporting she did in the future, given her HSP side. I am not sure how their relationship turned out, but they certainly learned something about whatever difficulties they were already having (and every couple has them). </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">This brings up the same difficulty with careers: HSP/HSSs find a hard time finding work that satisfies both sides of themselves. It may be the most important factor to consider when trying to find the right workplace, the right calling. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I know you would like advice on relationships and careers for HSP/HSSs, but it is truly a unique problem for each person. About careers, I have noticed that HSP/HSSs seem to make the ideal interviewers. They are very curious and like meeting new people, at least in this structured environment, and they can use their sensitivity to get into the other person’s mind and ask the right question. Perhaps that observation of mine will spark thoughts of other situations in which there’s some protection and structure that prevents being overwhelmed by constant change, yet new situations are always coming (new classes if you are a teacher, new patients if you are in the health professions, new customers if you are in sales or customer service, new products if you are in marketing, etc?) </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><b>Don’t Hide Either Side</b></span> </div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">HSP/HSSs are often able to hide their sensitive side from others, either potential partners or employers. But even if you don’t bring it up initially, don’t pretend it isn’t there. Bring it up as soon as it could be an issue. This was something else I learned from an HSP/HSS. She’d found she was attracting mostly HSS men because she was hiding her HSP self, fairly easy to do when you are dating, at least at first. You’re just busy when you’re really needing time alone, or he wants you to something your HSP side wouldn’t like. She said she was just realizing that hiding her sensitivity was a waste of her time and the men’s. She was going to bring it up, the combo, right away. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I also hope that she was able to convey pride about both of her temperament traits, and to teach others to appreciate them too. Don’t fall into thinking of the HSP part as a limit and talking about it that way to HSSs: “It’s a drag that I can’t work all day and party all night.” Your HSP part adds so much to the HSS, who would otherwise miss the subtleties, just plunge into everything, and have that much less to offer the world and that much less awareness, feeling, connection, and pleasure. One thing my research has found is that HSPs feel happiness more intensely than others. So, may the HSS in your life, both outside and in, show you new experiences to enjoy, and may the HSP in you give you the extra joy to be found in them. </span></div><div style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Now that you’ve learned what it is to be a High Sensation Seeker (HSS), <br />
take the <a href="http://www.hsperson.com/pages/HSStest.pdf">sensation seeking self-test</a>.</span></div>Lady Annickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10943696644766992833noreply@blogger.com0